To feel like I don’t like men anymore

[Dogsinsantasuits]

Not as in not attracted to them, although I am less bothered these days
It’s almost like i’m coming to a realisation that most (not all) are not great and women are infinitely stronger people.
Is this an age thing-late 40’s? Sad as I used to really like men. Now all I see around me is amazing women with men who aren’t a patch on them or dangerous and/or perverted men in the news.

I feel the same and I feel sad as I have a son. I am wanting to leave his Dad this year. I just can't do it anymore and I don't think I'll be interested again 🙈 (I'm 39).

I find it so sad that mumsnet has been infiltrated by men. I’ve been on here since my dd was a baby, and I swear it wasn’t then. 18 years ago. I feel bereft. It’s a bit like all our lovely single sex spaces being replaced by unisex. There was once such a lovely camaraderie between women in these spaces. This was specifically a thread for women to talk about their experiences with men, if you love all/most men, are an incel, misogynist or handmaiden, you could have just scrolled on by. But, no, women can’t have a space just for women.

So just the equivalent of locker room talk. Ok then

My Dad was the loveliest person I ever knew and I miss him every day. My brother and BIL are equally lovely men as well, as is my FIL. My MIL and SIL are utter basket cases who i wouldn't trust with a can opener.

That my personal circumstances are contrary to the spirit of thread doesn't invalidate fact that the most dangerous place for a woman is her own home, so fuck knows.

I can’t believe the turn this thread has taken. A middle aged woman starts by saying she’s not interested in dating men anymore and it’s turned into a ‘but women are worserer’ and posts about bitchy schoolgirls and the fact men do different jobs.

Very very strange comments completely unrelated to the OP mostly just to dig women out

I don’t object to men on mumsnet in general. It’s a parenting site after all and some might be dads or step dads. What I do object to is men pretending to be women and using it as a space to criticise and sneer at women.

The men on this thread stand out a mile. Sneering at women for not liking men while indulging the exact qualities we say we don’t like.

I know what you mean - there’s been a noticable increase in male posters who seem to just hang around berating women.

It’s like they don’t want us to have any space for ourselves without them butting in.

They pretty much dominate the whole rest of the internet, why can’t they fuck off back to Reddit or some other hellhole.

Yeah, except the thread started with how great women are and how shit men are, so not sure what you expected.

I think for those saying that all the decent ones are taken - a lot of those guys can be somewhat lacking too and not always as decent as you might think - there’s plenty of emotionally intelligent , well read, well preserved solvent guys out there with wives who stay even after affairs, booze habits,, porn, tempers , but many of the women are well aware especially beyond a certain age that pickings are slim out there or they have to be happy to be on their own and in a financial position to be so- so many stay put - don’t think all these guys are automatically ‘the good uns ‘ - and that in some cases will include your dads - you are just sometimes unaware .

What difficult and dangerous jobs? If you’re talking about police, fire services or army then maybe you should look into how much sexual abuse and abuse towards woman comes from men working in these roles? 😬.

I have actually just thought of something middle aged women are indeed bitter about. That we’re not lesbians.

I just watched the documentary on the asshat who drove into the Liverpool crowd. Ex colleague bleating on about how he was so nice at work...do men really honestly not see the chauvinistic behaviours? Can they not see it's men on the roads who bully and act like idiots and think they own the motorways? These are the guys who beat their wives, make out they are a solid stand up family man and join Tommy Robinson ranting about everything wrong with this country being someone else's fault. I know men aren't all that sharp but this can't have escaped them all? When will they realise that just because they can wear a suit and be civil in an office it doesn't automatically make them a decent all rounder.

I find (in general) men's company easier than women's, more straightforward. I'm talking about company - not relationships. I think living with men is pretty shit, and their total blindness towards just the most basic living standards from many (certainly not all) and the lazy callous approach of leaving the donkey work to the woman is common.

One thing I often see mentioned on here and personally experience in my life is the 'big cooking session' where a meal is made by the man. Might be a great meal, but the woman is left with a god-awful mess to clean up. I am SO fucking sick of this. Its not a nice gesture, its pure control. Control of what's being eaten and the belief that as the cook, all cleaning up and all the other housework can then be opted out of. In my house this happens as soon as I tidy the kitchen. Every fucking time. I dont want to eat the food as it pisses me off to the point it chokes me. Took me a long time to realise this is not kindness.

And breathe....

I feel the same way. I think for me it is a mixture of age (45), peri and experience. I am more aware of it now so I see it with wide open eyes - before I wasn't so conscious of it. My awareness comes from my and my friends and family's experiences.

When my DP cooks he cleans up after himself. When I cook, he cleans up after me.

I’ve noticed my friends’ husbands are mostly the same.

I honestly don’t know where this hatred is coming from?

Are you under 45 jade? I do find this aspect worse in guys over 50 if I’m honest -

This post saddens me greatly.
There is hope to regain your sense of self. Probably seems impossible right now but several other women have escaped similar trappings.
Take care OP

Bitter, man-hating lesbians. They used to be confined to the feminist forum but spread over here now.

Then fuck off back to your Reddit incel forum. Nasty little man 😆

I've been single for over 20 years and have no wish to ever have a relationship again - however I don't share your views on men at all. I've nothing against men, I just like my own company.

No wonder gender disappointment always applies to women pregnant with sons!

Men are great when you don’t have to date them

This.

Plus the mad dating stories on SM are amazingly entertaining.

It's all part of the fact that we don't choose our sexuality.

I'm way post meno now - haven't actually done sex in ten years or so now; sadly the post meno has caused me a few problems in the area.

But I will happily look at a man and think he is gorgeous. Wow. And still thoroughly enjoy that visceral reaction.

Sadly though I'm intellectually generally disappointed and disillusioned with men as a whole.

The whole manosphere madness.

The godawful litany of abusive men drugging, assaulting, renting out, sharing images of their poor wives - another one in the news this week.

The fact so many see women as not quite human, not quite people, not having the right to boundaries. And how young that starts.

The way women have evolved and grown with increasing rights and opportunities - while so many men seem stagnating in 'looking for a mummy / maid / domestic appliance' mode.

I think if I were a young woman starting again, but knowing what I know now, I might well take a different path and be living in a friendly artistic female community with pets and nice meals and lots of books etc etc.