Feeling really let down...

[SpookyTeacup]

Just been told by DH that I have no Christmas present this year as it hasn't arrived. I've got a feeling its exactly what I told him under no circumstances is he to buy me (sexy lingerie/nightwear) due to his reaction when I asked him if it was that - '.... no... why?'. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I feel huge, disgusting and hate how much weight I've gained. I couldn't feel further from sexy if I tried. All I've asked for is a nice big pair of PJ bottoms that I can be comfortable in and will become part of my hospital bag. I'm dreading Christmas now because I feel like I'm going to end up crying the entire day, but also feel like I'm acting like a spoiled brat.

Go to your mums. Leave him to it. I'm not married nor do I have kids and I only have two of a family. We don't spend a fortune on one another although I've spent more this year than normally. I would call myself pretty disorganised when it comes to present buying (I'm at uni and up to my eyes in essays, one due yesterday ).

But I manage it every year even if I'm having to buy extra bits on Christmas eve

It's his reaction to how upset you are that's the worst in all of this

Well that’s good for you. I’m glad it wouldn’t bother you. If they had said they weren’t going to get gifts then that’s fine, but it’s the fact she asked for it, and then despite the fact it hadn’t arrived he didn’t bother to seek out a replacement then laughed at her. That is cruel, and this man is about to be a father.

@SpookyTeacup well then I’m sure he won’t mind that you ‘got him nothing’ ie take all his presents back for refunds, get something you want or need (those pjs) and give yourself the best present of all - get rid of that ‘man’.

Where on earth are you getting constant nagging from? So much that you had to use the exact phrase twice in one post?

I decided that 2026 is going to be the year nobody takes me for granted or shits on me for bending over backwards for them OP. You should too.

Has he changed since your pregnancy, OP? You said he’s been an arsehole “lately”. You do hear of men seeing pregnancy as a trap for their partner and that’s when the abuse starts. It’s just a long time for you to have been in a normal and considerate relationship (if that’s what you had) to suddenly turning nasty upon pregnancy. The other trigger may have been your weight loss and him feeling insecure over this. He sounds like a horrible person.

He sounds horrible. I'm so sorry.

@Hiptothisjive for lords sake a women isnt a nag.
Its a gift yes but shes a person. You're a bloke or a handmaiden.

She's 30 weeks pregnant. Not uncommon for women to feel a tad hormonal and maybe cry a bit more than usual at this stage of pregnancy

They've been trying for a baby for ten years. If he didn't want one surely he could have indicated that sooner

Take the presents you bought him, and go to your mums. The presents can be returned and the money put towards a solicitor. He will not get any better than what you have now. It’s all downhill from now on. I speak from experience …

OP just go to your Mums. I'm glad she's there for you and angry with him on your behalf. Leave his sorry arse to it.

Congrats on the pregnancy 💐Concentrate on yourself and your baby.

Not only that but putting the blame on the OP. It’s absolutely ridiculous!

Oh OP what an absolute ass he is being! Pleaseeee leave him home with his PC and go to your mums ❤️

OP, please leave. Move in with your mother temporarily if you can. He’s a useless partner and he will be a useless father too.

I would be tempted to change the wifi password on my way out 😄

Hopefully you're now at your mum's being looked after. Can you stay the night and let him have some time to reflect on what a knob he's been.

From what you've said, he's not a complete moron, so hopefully him thinking you're not coming back at all might give him some pause for thought. If you were my daughter, adult and all, you wouldn't be going home until I'd also given him a few choice words about not valuing my daughter and future grandchild. That's not really my personality, but I wouldn't stand for seeing you being treated like this. Then, I'd be making my equally passive DH go and give him a similar speech. Time for your DH to grow up. And I truly get it, it's not the gift itself, it's making the effort that counts.

I hope he wakes up and I wish you well with the rest of your pregnancy. It sounds like this is a special and long awaited baby. Wishing you a smooth delivery and wishing your baby a long, happy and healthy life.

OP, would it help in a very small way to pick out and order some nice pyjamas from Cyberjammies today?

I know that it wouldn't be the solution to the deeper issues happening, but you will know that you've got exactly what you wanted for your hospital bag.

They do have some lovely ones, I'm sure there will be something you like.

https://cyberjammies.com/collections/womens-new-arrivals

He's an absolute shithead OP. I hope you have a lovely christmas with your mum, and next year an even more lovely one with your baby (and possibly without this bastard in your life).

So sorry op.

Reported.

@SpookyTeacup Hi. Congratulations on your pregnancy! It’s so amazing when you have a baby on the way after so many years of trying. Our situation was very like the one you’ve described and we had our baby in October. This is nothing but good news and don’t worry about anyone saying different. I hope you get sorted with your other half. Prioritise yourself today and tomorrow and take time to see where things go from there.

Could be worse. Your DH could have said what mine did "I thought you were going to buy yourself something".

My family seems to have forgotten about Christmas presents as well.

The only present I've had today was from my art teacher who bought me (& all her other students no doubt) a pack of very nice paint brushes.

You know, we all know that he was exactly like this all along. Unfortunately you chose him to be the father.
however you can make better choices going forward. He will leave you to do everything with the baby. Tell your family what’s happening, and seek support. Are you working?