Shocked at uni drug culture

[OneGreyCat]

AIBU to think this is concerning? DD is really struggling at uni and I’m not sure how worried I should be. She’s at a Russell Group, she’s doing well academically, has friends and is part of societies mainly hockey which she did at school too. She does go out and socialises but she isn’t a massive drinker and has never been into drugs. Which brings me to the issue…the main problem is the drug culture. It’s absolutely everywhere and she’s finding it overwhelming. The people she lives with openly take drugs, have friends over most nights, come back very late even on weeknights, and carry on partying, making noise and doing drugs in the house with strangers who she doesn’t know.

DD told me she doesn’t want to be a killjoy as she doesn’t want to be isolated but she’s exhausted and feels like she can’t escape it. She’s not someone who wants to stay in every night, but she also doesn’t want drugs to be the centre of everything. Has anyone else’s DC struggled with this side of uni life? Is this just something they have to put up with, or is it reasonable to think about reporting it ?

I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to dismiss how unhappy she is. It’s just such a shock to me because when I was at university lots of people smoked cannabis and we knew others were doing class a type drugs but it was a small pocket of people, DD says it’s everywhere for her.

Maybe you should have let them choose?

Year 1 at halls. Year 2&3 at home.

I don't know about drugs but when I was at uni in the 90s we went out about 4 or 5 nights a week drinking. We only had about 15 hours of lectures a week (humanities) and there was some kind of night out pretty much every night at the student unión and pubs and so on if you wanted.

I’m not really buying this thing about students being little gonks where the only serious ones never do drugs. That is just not true.

Anyway change accommodation next year sounds best. I’d crack on with helping her with that.

Hi yes, I totally understand and empathise with you. My son, also very reputable Russell Group university is in his third and final year. Has changed beyond all recognition. Ketamine use is absolutely rife everywhere, and he sounds like your daughter. Capable, fun, likes to go out, sporty member of societies etc, but overwhelmed by drug culture, though he is not entirely innocent himself. Two girls moved out of his flat in halls in the first year because of excessive ketamine use within the flat. Could you or your daughter speak to the accommodation dept of her university? Xx

Ketamine is just awful. It can make you incontinent if you get addicted. There is not a fix for that either.

Also it’s basically a horse tranquiliser. Just say no

I had the same issue when I went. My flat mates would fill the house with cannabis smoke which I hated.

I moved back into smoke-free halls in my final year, and then lived in a bedsit rather than share a flat, just to get away from it.

Your dd could try talking to student services about alcohol/drug free accommodation which some unis offer now.

I know! It's horrific. Have shared all this with him and have always been very open about discussing these sort of topics with my children. I was also young once and grew up in the rave culture, which I took part in.
It's difficult to control a young man's life when they're 300 miles away at uni living their own life.

But I was shocked at the prolific use of ketamine use across our UK universities

I'm sorry but this is absolute nonsense. My son is on track for a 1st in his history and politics degree, very serious about his studies, but is still involved in the topics we are discussing here

There are plenty of people who don't take drugs she just needs to find the right friends

I got heavily involved with a sports team despite not being particularly sporty and none of them took drugs we did like to go out the party but it was a bit of alcohol rather than any drugs.

Aaaah thems were the days

Yes much better to shield them until they move out, have a full time job and therefore wage

Hi. I won’t go into huge detail here but the stories of the young patient who chopped off a body part in a drug-fuelled psychotic episode (no other previous MH issues), and the student who permanently wiped out 60% of their cognitive function after taking drugs once, def put my kids off. These are of course rare events but my children did not want to take the risk.