Shocked at uni drug culture

[OneGreyCat]

AIBU to think this is concerning? DD is really struggling at uni and I’m not sure how worried I should be. She’s at a Russell Group, she’s doing well academically, has friends and is part of societies mainly hockey which she did at school too. She does go out and socialises but she isn’t a massive drinker and has never been into drugs. Which brings me to the issue…the main problem is the drug culture. It’s absolutely everywhere and she’s finding it overwhelming. The people she lives with openly take drugs, have friends over most nights, come back very late even on weeknights, and carry on partying, making noise and doing drugs in the house with strangers who she doesn’t know.

DD told me she doesn’t want to be a killjoy as she doesn’t want to be isolated but she’s exhausted and feels like she can’t escape it. She’s not someone who wants to stay in every night, but she also doesn’t want drugs to be the centre of everything. Has anyone else’s DC struggled with this side of uni life? Is this just something they have to put up with, or is it reasonable to think about reporting it ?

I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to dismiss how unhappy she is. It’s just such a shock to me because when I was at university lots of people smoked cannabis and we knew others were doing class a type drugs but it was a small pocket of people, DD says it’s everywhere for her.

I didn’t go to uni. But everyone else I knew did.

It was the mid 90s and wall to wall extacy.

I was at a Russell group in the 90s. I knew obe guy who'd have a spliff from time to time. No-one I knew touched anything harder at all.

It's often worse at the more competitive uni's. More pressure + wealthier student population (on average). Plus, young people off the leash and making the most of not being under their parent's eye. Going a bit wild. The first year is often a bit chaotic in that respect. An imbalance of socialising, drinking and experimenting vs work. It generally settles once the novelty of living more independently wears off. YANBU to be worried, it's normal as a parent but it is a pretty bog standard part of the uni experience for most young people.

Some kids won’t touch them. Dd is very anti drugs. Doesn’t even drink. The police came and gave a six week course of anti drug/drinking talk when she was at primary school and it terrified her.

And now she’s on blood thinners for life I think she’s even less likely to take illegal drugs.

I think drugs are taken by all groups and individuals. The ‘drug trade’ is booming and there are lots of customers from teens through to people in their twenties, thirties snd beyond!

I’ve never taken a drug either. Never even a puff of weed. I was always too scared to. I worked in the music industry from the age of 16, coke was pudding, but I never tried a thing.

I prefered alcohol as I had control over it.

I always recommend prospective students to look at the social lives at the particular unis.
I went to a uni in a very much pub culture city. It was great for me. We would go out a couple of times a week for "last orders" once every couple of weeks for an evening. Home and in bed by midnight before my carriage turned into a pumpkin again.

I knew quite a few people who were definitely more into the club and drugs culture and they would go to near by cities every week for the clubs their getting the first train of the day home at 4am.

I'd say she just needs to find the people like her. The first term is always hard and you are just randomly dumped with a bunch of people and not necessarily people who have the same interests and values.

Honestly I don't think there is going to be anything she can do about the drugs unless she wants to report her flatmates, which will probably cause more aggro that it's worth and I doubt the outcome would be what she's hoping for.

I don't think there's any harm in her focussing on asking her flatmates to be more considerate re late nights and noise. And at least she's sorted for something else next year.

FWIW my DD is a third year at UoBristol which as PPs have said is known for the drugs culture. Ket is about as common as a glass of a chicken wine. DD has lost friends and missed out on a flat share because she's very anti, but still has plenty of friends and a decent social life, so things will settle down for your DD.

Yeah me too. None of my social circle were like this. It’s definitely worse nowadays, and I think it’s amazing how people are happy to ignore all the harm it causes.

One of the reasons my DC only lived out for one year and commuted the rest.

Also I assume buying drugs harder than weed (ket, mdma, cocaine etc) indirectly fuels violent crime?

Is she in university halls? If she is, there will likely be very strict rules about drug use in halls. She could quietly raise the issue with accommodation or wellbeing ad ask for advice.

The other students will have signed behaviour contracts, and in my experience the uni should be pretty rigorous in sorting it out.

Exactly this. The more affluent the kids, the more drugs very often. I think that culture is a surprise if you’re not used to it but once she’s in with her own friends and away from halls it will be less in her face.

An illegal pub/club. It's an Irish word. More commonly in England it's in the Afro-Caribbean community these days.
Slabs of Red Stripe from the off licence, weed, reggae on the sound system.

Do you honestly think every single student at every University takes drugs?!

Not my experience at uni, I would try and get a flat swap either in the same halls or another (would need to ask some gently probing questions to ensure she didn't end up in another all night party flat).

Thanks, sounds awesome

If you go to the right ones it is. Many a good night in Chapeltown and Harehills...

Awful here balloons and canisters. My dd is 20. Said its everywhere we in Dublin. Desperate though.

Shhh let her live in her delusion of being a superior parent

I never told my kids ‘don’t take drugs’. But as I have been a consultant psychiatrist for 20 years, I have come across some of the most horrific consequences of drug use. Either from persistent use or from one-off use. I shared some of my experiences, obviously without breaking any confidentiality, with my kids. They were clearly freaked out. As they grew up, they appeared to have a an aversion to taking drugs of any kind. My son said at university he was constantly being harangued by a particular friend to take cannabis but he said he wasn’t interested. It wasn’t easy though.

Of course I only have their word for it that they are not interested in drugs. Evidence would suggest they’re not, and we are very close but who knows. I hope drugs play as little part in their lives as they have played in those of me and my husband .

@TheLoyalMintGuide It’s nonsense. Poor people can still find money to buy drugs. You’re just claiming moral superiority based on the idea that being poor makes someone morally better. Poor people always have some access to money, whether through loans or other means. Poor students who smoke definitely have money for their cigarettes and whatever else they want, and the same goes for alcohol. Some mumsnetters in this thread claim to be poor in other discussions, yet here they’re showing strong support for drug culture at university, so interpret that however you like.

Students who are serious about their studies avoid drugs, live at home, work, and commute to campus. They spend their time on activities they truly enjoy rather than feeling pressured, forced, or bullied into things they dislike just to please peers who don’t genuinely care about them. They choose friends carefully and live peacefully, steering clear of the wild drug scene at university. Honestly, there’s no need to move to another city, pile on loans, and go into debt just to “become an adult”—that’s an outdated idea from decades ago.

Can you share some of those stories?

@OneGreyCat She’s at a Russell Group

This made me giggle. Russell Group universities are stuffed full of middle class kids who've usually got more money to spend on drugs and parents who'll bail them out if they get into trouble.

I didn't want my children getting involved in drug culture so wanted them to commute from home.