To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

[StrawberryCreamField]

Would you be happy with this? DD (18, her birthday was last week) wants to go out to a nightclub on Christmas Day. I don’t think she should as Christmas Day is a day to spend with family and for her to spend with us and her siblings and she could go out on any other day/night. DD is still saying she wants to go out though. DH thinks I’m being unreasonable and he thinks it’s fine for her to go out on Christmas Day. AIBU?

If they are open, they’re obviously planning a very intimate affair because there’s not a mention of them opening on Christmas Day that I can find.

I agree with you that it’s not ideal. But I think you need to tread very carefully here. You’re asking her a lot of questions and her response is pretty clear. You could keep pushing, but I think that’s only going to clam up and make her more secretive. You could also say that she might be old enough not to need your permission but that you have house rules she needs to abide by if she wants to live there. But it sounds like your relationship is already hanging by a thread. Do you really want this to be the thing that breaks it? With both of you saying things you don’t mean and neither of you backing down?

DB and me ,both back from uni or wherever we were ,went out clubbing just for the hell of it on one Christmas Day evening,after xmas day with family.Our parents didn’t mind at all!!It was the 80s and back then it was open but deadly quiet. Had a laugh with DB though .

Glad to see the young people actually going out and intermingling like this tbh. I thought they were all juice bars and selfies in the gym nowdays.
Nightlife culture has given the Uk so much, from the Jazz bars to swinging 60s, punk and rave culture.
I was hoping some young people would still want to go out, have fun and mingle in real life still.
This gives me hope :)

Sounds an idyllic way to spend christmas, rather than with an overbearing mother.
You can't force someone to spend time with you.

My birthday is Christmas Eve and the only time I’ve ever even gone out for that was my 18th, the rest of the time it’s been the weekend before.

Christmas is for family and going out either day before or day of would have been an absolute no-no.

My mother would be losing her mind in your position.

Christmas night was always a busy night out in my tiny Scottish town! The local venue would get a late license for the occasion but wouldn’t open til 11pm. I’d have been horrified if my parents tried to stop me going and for the record, my 18th was mid December. I would definitely have stayed home for dinner though - unless I was working as I missed a few Christmas dinners to work in local restaurants.

You’re not unreasonable to want her to spend Christmas Day with her family but she’s 18 and if she wants to go to a club on Christmas Day (night presumably?) that’s up to her. I also have an 18 year old and I’ve started biting my tongue a lot more as ultimately she needs to make her own decisions. I choose carefully the hills I think I need to die on.

I have similar ages and I’d be really annoyed if they did this and as last minute when you’ve planned dinner etc! It does also sound like a recipe for disaster and potentially no taxis etc and you’ll end up having to sort? I might be wrong.

If it was the compromised version - after 7/8pm and eats dinner with you and does ‘Christmas day’ and then goes out and has a pre booked taxi, that would be fine. No different to after dinner get together at the pub I guess. But it sounds a little suss at the moment .e.g. last minute, not sharing info of who with. Why do they think they are 100% adults the second they turn 18?! Argh….

My DH runs a nightclub. Nightclubs don’t open on Christmas Day….shes not going to a nightclub! It’s not commercially viable, everywhere will be empty.

Too right!! That sounds great no way you could miss that. I wouldn’t miss xmas dinner but each to their own in the evening.

Yet despite your weirdly certain statement I can find at least 2 in Blackpool open with 1 second of googling

The Hive in Edinburgh is open from 10pm to 3am. Quick google will bring up others I'm sure.

So because your DH's club isn't open, no others can possibly be?

Majority of bars and clubs are open on chrietmas in my hometown. It is very popular time for people to go out. I feel liek she cam go out clubbing at night but wanting to do it 2pm onwards is a bit crap. Why not have dinner and few drinks and then head out? However, a moody teen sitting at a Christmas table against her will make it shit for everyone else.

You are unaware I take it that a vast amount of sex abusers are family members. It may be just saying "aren't you a big girl now" while leering at her breasts but it's not pleasant,

But OP is also an adult refusing to take someone else’s wishes into consideration ??

Respectful adults don’t usually demand a day of someone else’s time. I’d wager that the DD wasn’t even asked what her plans were for Christmas it was probably just assumed she would be there because ‘it’s Christmas’. OP and her DD are transitioning into an adult-adult relationship. She has a right to be upset and concerned about the lack of travel plans but she shouldn’t be telling her how to spend Christmas.

Can confirm per pp Edinburgh nightclubs defo open from early evening on Xmas day and have been for at least 25yrs.

I used to go out Christmas night from around her age. It was so much fun. A day with family and a night with friends…all the people I loved!

So is she going with her mates and do you know any of them ? Will she be hanging around looking for a taxi on her own? I wouldn’t mind her going (2 is really early though) but I wouldn’t be able relax I didn’t know who she was with tbf and if they were all reliable and would stick together. Hopefully she’ll take a coat!

Yep, Edinburgh lass here. And on the rare occasion my day was shite the night would often make up for it 😂

I’d let her go. She’ll probably have a rubbish time and next year will want to stay with family playing monopoly.

I can’t find anything online about if it’s open or not.

Yep, former Edinburgh student here, can confirm! Piled out of clubs there on many a Boxing Day early morning!

She won’t tell me who she is going with.

Because it’s none of your business