To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

[StrawberryCreamField]

Would you be happy with this? DD (18, her birthday was last week) wants to go out to a nightclub on Christmas Day. I don’t think she should as Christmas Day is a day to spend with family and for her to spend with us and her siblings and she could go out on any other day/night. DD is still saying she wants to go out though. DH thinks I’m being unreasonable and he thinks it’s fine for her to go out on Christmas Day. AIBU?

Yep, the one phrase guaranteed to annoy a teenager is "because I said so", lol.

Sorry posted too early. She should though have Xmas dinner with the family and go out after. She IBU to want to go at 2pm

Welcome to the life of being a parent with an adult child @StrawberryCreamField

As has been said, Christmases will be different from now on. She's not your little girl anymore.

of course - but it’s also the age at which over protectiveness or worse is no longer excuseable to the child themselves and at which you can very rapidly drive them away

Don’t guilt trip your daughter, let her live her life. I’m 34 & still crippled with guilt when I don’t see my mum at Christmas, she didn’t mean it but I won’t do this to my children.

Well in lots of places there’s shortage of taxis at Xmas or prices are astronomical. You don’t want your teen out 2am Boxing Day where she can’t get home and is alone in a dodgy part of Blackpool or risks getting in an unlicensed car with a random bloke. I used to pick dd and friends up from outside a local nightclub in sixth form sometimes and there were lots of ‘cabs’ touting that weren’t real taxis. I personally would struggle to enjoy Christmas Day evening and sleep knowing she was out without a plan to get home.

Add in do as I say and not as I do.

When you point out they do it as well to whatever your argument was.

While you’re under my roof you Will….

Hilarious when the adult child has their own house and suddenly the parent has rules to follow in their home. But but but Im your mum how dare you!

I can't imagine anyone is going to particularly enjoy sitting down to an enforced dinner with at least one person who doesn't want to be there.

Shes 18 and kindly she doesn't need to provide proof or have you be ok with it. There are 365 days in a year there is no law that says people need to stay home eating a roast. If you keep forcing the issue next year she may not spend any of the day with you

There’s always been clubs open on Christmas Day. It’s very common in the gay scene - especially as many gay men used to be excluded from family gatherings etc.

There’s quite clearly more going off here if you don’t believe her. If mine said they were off to a nightclub I’d have no reason to doubt them, yet you clearly do. And where will she be from 2pm? And with who? None of her friends spending the day with their families?

But where does she want to go all afternoon? Just to someone else's house? I'd be wondering why. Is there somewhere other than your house that she'd rather be spending Christmas and for what reason?

I wouldn't stop her going.
But I wouldn't be tip toeing about on boxing day if she's expecting to sleep in half the day.

I would worry about this if she didn’t have a solid plan for getting home as taxis will likely be scarce and very expensive. I also wouldn’t be ruining my Christmas by offering lifts. She wants to go she has to have a viable plan of how it’s going to work.

everyone saying she’s an adult, she can do what she likes. I’d say that she is living in OPs house for free and she needs to show a little respect for family and what’s important to them. A fair compromise is that she stays at home until later afternoon/ early evening before going out with friends, as long as there’s a solid plan for getting home.

I feel lucky that this has never been something that either of my young adult dds has ever wanted to do. They love a family Christmas/crazy my side of the family Boxing Day get together.

Most people I know used to go to one On Christmas Eve, so it's effectively Christmas Day as everyone would be there until at least 4am. Don't remember them opening at 8 on Christmas Day, though, and these days there seem to be far fewer nightclubs anyway.
Anyone who is 18 can and should do what they like IMO. If (and yes it is an if) the daughter has a family in a few years, she might as well enjoy this period when she is free and can do whatever she likes, as once you have kids, it's not as easy to put yourself first,

You need to accept that she’s 18 now.

she doesn’t need to provide proof (and you are beyond crazy to be demanding it) or get your permission.

she decides and you need to back the hell off

Who is she going with?

Parents are walked over by selfish and ungrateful young adults these days. Their desires trump anything else and no moral pressure is put on them to contribute to family life. I bet she'll build in enough time between her lie-in and leaving the house to open her presents!

Of course nightclubs and bars are open! I used to go out Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day etc- some of the best nights out! Shes 18, surely as long as Shes spent most of the day with family then as an adult she can then do as she wishes.

She won’t tell me who.

I’m not happy with her not pre booking her taxis because I want her to be safe!

I doubt a night club would be open and if it is I doubt there would be many people there.

When I was 18 I did go to the local pub on Christmas Day, it was the year my dear aunt died (on Christmas Day) so my parents had gone to be with her and I went to a friends for dinner, followed by the pub. I wanted to be around friends as there was little I could do with the situation at home. After that year I was pretty much allowed to do what I wanted on Christmas Day though I would usually chose to stay home or just visit friends in the evening.

She is an adult at the end of the day but I can see why your annoyed.

But she's 18 now - you have to start trusting her to make her own decisions and to do her own things. You can't coddle her forever.

What else is going on in your relationship OP? It sounds like she doesn't tell you very much or trust you very much.

Say she needs to have her dinner and can go after.
unclench about the taxis, there’s always plenty of Ubers et