Page 19 | To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

Christmascaketime · 25/12/2025 16:15

DH can say what he likes you don’t have to do it. If she’s adult enough to flounce out she’s adult enough to make own way home.
I’m generous with lifts to my dd who is 19 but she doesn’t demand a lift and fits in with me. Anyone telling me I had to when they haven’t had courtesy to speak to me and check it’s ok wouldn’t be getting a lift.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 25/12/2025 17:11

id Be a bit miffed because it’s rude - 6/7 o clock I’d have no issue with.

my biggest issue though is your husband offering out your taxi services. Who does he think you are?!

LittleBearPad · 25/12/2025 17:20

She’s a brat and your DH is selfish.

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 25/12/2025 17:26

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 14:58

I’m going to have no choice but to go and pick DD up if she can’t get a taxi unfortunately because DH has already had a drink! And he’s told DD I’ll pick her up if she needs!!

DH is a problem.

Why do you let him tell you what to do???

Original poster

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 18:14

She’s now turned her phone off and we have no idea what time she’ll be back home!

OP posts:

SilverPink · 25/12/2025 18:16

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 18:14

She’s now turned her phone off and we have no idea what time she’ll be back home!

So have you established where she’s actually gone? Because no nightclub will be open yet.

Original poster

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 18:17

SilverPink · 25/12/2025 18:16

So have you established where she’s actually gone? Because no nightclub will be open yet.

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No. We have no idea where she is right now!

OP posts:

SilverPink · 25/12/2025 18:22

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 18:17

No. We have no idea where she is right now!

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Honestly, unless that’s quite normal for your daughter, I’d be concerned. I’d also assume it’s something connected to a man, and nothing to do with friends.

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 25/12/2025 18:24

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 18:17

No. We have no idea where she is right now!

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And that is exactly how your DD wants it.

She is inconsiderate in the extreme to leave you in this situation on Christmas Day.
She won't tell you where she's going .
She won't tell you who's she's with.
She won't tell you when she'll be home
She won't book a taxi.

For all the people exclaiming " she's an adult, let her be" need to give their heads a wobble.
An adult, or any mature 18 year old, should have absolutely no need to be so uncommunicative.

HaveYouFedTheFish · 25/12/2025 18:26

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 25/12/2025 17:11

id Be a bit miffed because it’s rude - 6/7 o clock I’d have no issue with.

my biggest issue though is your husband offering out your taxi services. Who does he think you are?!

I completely agree that the DH is an unbearable pocket dictator for thinking he can order his wife around and unilaterally decree that she will be on standby to drive and he will be out of commission drinking as usual.

However it's also an issue that this whole thing turned into a standoff between mother and daughter (both, tbh, being utterly focused on getting their way about how daughter spends Christmas day) to the extent that daughter has cut communication and switched her phone off and they've parted on bad terms.

If people are right that she's not being completely truthful about her plans then it's going to be harder for her to talk to her mum or ask for help if she gets into a difficult/ dangerous situation...

Keeping communication open rather than trying to dictate seems to be something nobody in the family has as a priority.

HaveYouFedTheFish · 25/12/2025 18:28

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 25/12/2025 18:24

And that is exactly how your DD wants it.

She is inconsiderate in the extreme to leave you in this situation on Christmas Day.
She won't tell you where she's going .
She won't tell you who's she's with.
She won't tell you when she'll be home
She won't book a taxi.

For all the people exclaiming " she's an adult, let her be" need to give their heads a wobble.
An adult, or any mature 18 year old, should have absolutely no need to be so uncommunicative.

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It's no wonder though given the level of conflict and head butting that led up to her going out.

Moonnstarz · 25/12/2025 18:29

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 25/12/2025 18:24

And that is exactly how your DD wants it.

She is inconsiderate in the extreme to leave you in this situation on Christmas Day.
She won't tell you where she's going .
She won't tell you who's she's with.
She won't tell you when she'll be home
She won't book a taxi.

For all the people exclaiming " she's an adult, let her be" need to give their heads a wobble.
An adult, or any mature 18 year old, should have absolutely no need to be so uncommunicative.

Show quote history

I totally agree. I am surprised so many people are complacent about a recently turned 18 year old female going off without letting anyone know where she is going, who she is going with and how she is getting home and simply saying she is an adult.
I am with the poster who suggests she is meeting an older man in a hotel.

BruFord · 25/12/2025 18:31

Expecting to be picked up is so unreasonable, she should be organizing her own transport.

godmum56 · 25/12/2025 18:37

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 25/12/2025 18:24

And that is exactly how your DD wants it.

She is inconsiderate in the extreme to leave you in this situation on Christmas Day.
She won't tell you where she's going .
She won't tell you who's she's with.
She won't tell you when she'll be home
She won't book a taxi.

For all the people exclaiming " she's an adult, let her be" need to give their heads a wobble.
An adult, or any mature 18 year old, should have absolutely no need to be so uncommunicative.

Show quote history

maybe the need stemmed from being nagged to death by her mother?

godmum56 · 25/12/2025 18:38

Moonnstarz · 25/12/2025 18:29

I totally agree. I am surprised so many people are complacent about a recently turned 18 year old female going off without letting anyone know where she is going, who she is going with and how she is getting home and simply saying she is an adult.
I am with the poster who suggests she is meeting an older man in a hotel.

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She is 18, legally an adult. What do you suggest can be done about it?

Moonnstarz · 25/12/2025 18:41

godmum56 · 25/12/2025 18:38

She is 18, legally an adult. What do you suggest can be done about it?

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Well there isn't really anything that can be done, but it is worrying so many people are saying it's fine for a young girl to go off out on her own. Would it have made a difference if she was still 17? Would people be more concerned then had her birthday been a month later?
What the OP can do about it in reality is very little, but I would be worried about who she was involved with that is causing this level of secrecy and to be out on Christmas day.

HaveYouFedTheFish · 25/12/2025 18:42

BruFord · 25/12/2025 18:31

Expecting to be picked up is so unreasonable, she should be organizing her own transport.

It doesn't read as though the DD is expecting this - she refused to pre-book a taxi saying she'd get one when she wants to go home. It's her dad who has unilaterally volunteered the OP as driver (not himself as he wants someone else to be on standby but doesn't care enough not to plan in advance to be over the drink drive limit himself).

NewNameforThisPost2025 · 25/12/2025 18:42

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 12:11

She’s stormed out and gone already! I’m really not happy but DH says I’m overreacting!

Edited

Omg, that's awful! I'm so sorry, OP. I would be FUMING!

TidyCyan · 25/12/2025 18:44

SilverPink · 25/12/2025 18:22

Honestly, unless that’s quite normal for your daughter, I’d be concerned. I’d also assume it’s something connected to a man, and nothing to do with friends.

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This is kind of what I was thinking.
When I was 17 my friend lied at Christmas and said she was going to my house. She was in fact two towns over at her ex-boyfriend's as they were getting back together and she didn't want to tell her mum!

Millytante · 25/12/2025 18:45

TheMorgenmuffel · 24/12/2025 19:54

He can expect all he likes. How exactly will he enforce it?

By making sure he gets pissed early enough to prevent OP from doing the same, because he is banking (and with reason, it seems) on her being incapable of saying ‘Fuck you’ about both of them, father and daughter, and getting ossified herself.
If she did that though, and left it for useless and pissed DH to worry about, she might at least enjoy drunkenness, since there’s not much other cheer chez elle by the sound of it.
It was DH who supported this Christmas day sordid affair ‘teen disco’ outing of their daughter’s in the face of OP’s objections, so let him handle the bloody logistics.
She left before noon on Christmas Day without any discussion of how she’d get home, and has remained out of reach. I’d anticipate a very difficult period between mother and daughter whenever she gets home, and maybe she’s in touch with her father anyway, so even if OP were to ring later offering a lift, would the call even be answered? Leave all this to DH.

HaveYouFedTheFish · 25/12/2025 18:47

Moonnstarz · 25/12/2025 18:41

Well there isn't really anything that can be done, but it is worrying so many people are saying it's fine for a young girl to go off out on her own. Would it have made a difference if she was still 17? Would people be more concerned then had her birthday been a month later?
What the OP can do about it in reality is very little, but I would be worried about who she was involved with that is causing this level of secrecy and to be out on Christmas day.

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This is why this should have been about communicating - all three adults have simply made unilateral decrees about what they want and there's been no genuine communication.

DD is exactly like her parents by the sound of it. They all want different outcomes, but all use the same strategy of simply saying "X is happening because I say so and I want it, no debate, no discussion".

godmum56 · 25/12/2025 18:48

Moonnstarz · 25/12/2025 18:41

Well there isn't really anything that can be done, but it is worrying so many people are saying it's fine for a young girl to go off out on her own. Would it have made a difference if she was still 17? Would people be more concerned then had her birthday been a month later?
What the OP can do about it in reality is very little, but I would be worried about who she was involved with that is causing this level of secrecy and to be out on Christmas day.

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do you think that a bit less of this attitude from the OP might have helped?
" I don’t think she should as Christmas Day is a day to spend with family and for her to spend with us and her siblings and she could go out on any other day/night."

cardibach · 25/12/2025 18:52

godmum56 · 25/12/2025 18:48

do you think that a bit less of this attitude from the OP might have helped?
" I don’t think she should as Christmas Day is a day to spend with family and for her to spend with us and her siblings and she could go out on any other day/night."

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No, I think that’s a completely reasonable expectation for a young adult who lives at home.

Original poster

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 19:04

DH has had a drink but he won’t let me have a drink “incase you need to go and pick up DD”!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 19:22

HaveYouFedTheFish · 25/12/2025 18:47

This is why this should have been about communicating - all three adults have simply made unilateral decrees about what they want and there's been no genuine communication.

DD is exactly like her parents by the sound of it. They all want different outcomes, but all use the same strategy of simply saying "X is happening because I say so and I want it, no debate, no discussion".

Show quote history

DD just stormed off in the end!!

OP posts: