To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

[StrawberryCreamField]

Would you be happy with this? DD (18, her birthday was last week) wants to go out to a nightclub on Christmas Day. I don’t think she should as Christmas Day is a day to spend with family and for her to spend with us and her siblings and she could go out on any other day/night. DD is still saying she wants to go out though. DH thinks I’m being unreasonable and he thinks it’s fine for her to go out on Christmas Day. AIBU?

I went raving in the 90's on Xmas day night. To bagleys, a very popular club in kings cross. We were all very excited about it but it ended up being rubbish, it was empty in there!

At that age I was as equally as selfish and just wanted to be with my friends more, so I understand it. She will be there until she goes out and will be miserable if she doesn't go out. As parents we have this ideal of how we want the day to be but youngsters don't always share it. Xx

There used to be a nightclub in Berlin that was open 24/365.

Clubs were never open Christmas day when I used to go to them. Boxing Day yes, Christmas day no.

Just looking at some of the bigger ones in London, Ministry of Sound is closed until Friday, Koko closed until Friday. Fabric says its open but has nothing on until Saturday. And Google says almost all are shut.

So I'd question where she's actually going.

OP commented already that it would be from 2pm that she goes out.....

Bagleys was AWESOME!!!
And the Chunnel Club 🤩

He can expect all he wants.

Make it clear to both of them you won’t be doing it. I’d be amazed if a nightclub is open on Christmas Day. I thought there were issues around licensing? Even the pubs around here close “early” with Sunday hours.

Yep. It’s the weird MN philosophy of how kids turn 18, are immediately adults and should be kicked out and be independent.

My kids at uni, still respected our family life when home. They would not have dumped us for clubbing on Xmas day. Though they liked seeing their cousins and eating the food, so would not have wanted to miss out!

Legally she cannot stop her....What can she do, throw her out....ofcourse not. Kids know their rights these days

Absolutely fucking not.
He doesn't get to dictate your day.
Tell him that he thinks it's fine for her to go out without any plans relayed to you and to be picked up at any time then he can not drink anything alcoholic and pick her up himself. Unless he's abusive....

Also, I've had a look for you and I couldn't find anything for the rooftop bar but I did come across this page on Facebook, if you have an account

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1B5spzvef4/

I don't think it's ok for her to go out so early (and I was a bit of a cunt at 18).
If she's anything like I was, she'll be going out to get wrecked.... Drugs.
It was such fun at the time and I was 18.... I could do whatever I wanted to because, well, I was 18. To be so secretive about where she's going and who she'll be with.... Maybe I'm wrong but it's a possibility.

It sounds like she's going to go no matter what you want.

I believe that you will pick her up if she needs a lift and your darling arsehole has got drunk because in my opinion, that's what a decent parent would do and not leave their child stranded somewhere even though you want to brain them and teach them a lesson.

Good luck OP, God speed 🙏🏼

He can expect all he likes. How exactly will he enforce it?

I’m an ex-raver and was a v annoying badly behaved teen / early 20s. There is still no way I’d have fucked off Christmas with the family to go raving/clubbing. Literally one day of the year that you do family stuff. Tell her to suck it up soldier and stay home - even if she does it in a strop. Merry Christmas x

My eldest two are away out tonight for the first time. It's weird because it's different, but this is their Xmas eve and they've worked so hard the last couple of weeks, so I want them to do whatever makes them happy.

Edited because I've deleted a whole paragraph before posting. Going out at two pm Xmas day sounds really strange at her age. Surely her friends will be with their families, I've never heard of anyone going out at 2pm on Xmas day.

What rights?

She won’t be paying rent, if she has a job it will pay for nights out and the odd bit of clothing. Her life will be funded by her parents.

She doesn’t get to do as she wants with no consideration for the people who make that life possible.

Yes!! we often went to the Chunnel after! 🤣
or sometimes we would just stay up all night at home and then go to Chunnel on Sunday mornings as we lived in Balham!

Well if you're talking legally - legally OP can't physically stop her and legally she can throw her out.

This is AIBU, not HBCPLTEO (how badly can people legally treat each other).

In the kindest way, it’s not up to you what she does at 18 years old. I appreciate it is upsetting that she doesn’t want to do things your way, but you have to accept that she’s an adult and wants to do things her way. You can’t (and shouldn’t) be trying to control an 18 year old. It will backfire.

It is up to her parents on days like Xmas Day because she is a part of the family unit and a dependent child. She's an adult in law only, not in actuality. I'm assuming that like most 18-year-olds, she is not running her own household, putting her own roof over her head, paying all her own bills, and being completely independent of her parents.

When she's an actual adult, instead of one just on paper, then she can skip Christmas.

Yes, the DD's friends will be with their families. She's moon-eyed over some male, who's probably a bad lot if he's wanting her to skip Christmas instead of seeing her at a time that's normal for young people over the holidays. I dread to think it might be an older divorced man whose kids are with their mother, so he's free, but it would make sense.

Nightclubs aren't open at 2pm on Christmas Day and I doubt her friends will be allowed either. If it's 11pm then it's fine

Did you find out any more information about Rooftop 525? It's located in the same building as Horseshoe Bar and Globe Theatre

She’s stormed out and gone already! I’m really not happy but DH says I’m overreacting!

Nope, still don’t have any proof from DD that it’s actually open!

Do not pick her up op!

Team DH here.