Page 12 | DH going to the gym on Christmas Day!

Wifetobe21 · 2025-12-22T22:11:38+00:00

For about 1.5 hours mid morning. A couple of his mates usually go and have roped him in. He is into his fitness but surely people can give it a miss for one bloody day?!

tiutinkerbell · 23/12/2025 10:43

We go on Christmas Day also as it's a social thing for us with friends, but both of us go.

ArcticGrass · 23/12/2025 10:43

I fairly often take the dog for a long walk while my in laws are around on Christmas Day....it's best for everyone. And I really like my in laws.

aCatCalledFawkes · 23/12/2025 10:47

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 10:17

What her H is doing is the equivalent to what usd to be the norm: going to the pub on Christmas day while the women stayed at home and did all rhe meal preparations while supervising the over excited children.

He is opting out of being a husband and father and leaving OP to do all the work at home whilst looking after his child and being the host to their visitors.

He is behaving like a single man with no responsibility or obligation.

This will be the first. Christmas his child will be actively aware of and he is more interested in meeting up with his pals to enjoy himself rather than watching his child's enjoyment and actually behaving like a parent invested in family life.

Show quote history

I find this response OTT and a bit bonkerish. He's going to the gym which has massive mental and physical benefits, he's not to the pub to get drunk with the lads. Plenty of women have commented on this thread they will be taking time out for themselves, even the ones with children.

I have seen so my posts about "christmas burnout", "feeling overwhelmed at Christmas" and "seasonal stress". It nice to hear that people are taking time out to get some exercise in for a number of reasons. I think banning it and not allowing that time is more likely to cause mental health problems and ruin Christmas day due to people feeling locked in.

myglowupera · 23/12/2025 10:48

I didn’t know the gym would even be open on Christmas Day. The poor people being forced to work.

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 10:51

That's odd - because I used to work in pure gym. Worked Christmas day and new years day and both days were busy. I'm not being disingenuous at all.
I just don't see that someone going to the gym for 90 minutes on Christmas day is opting out of being a husband and father.

Opting out of being a father - in its true sense - is not having anything to do with your child. I last saw my father when I was three - he didn't turn up for an access visit. Not a Christmas card my entire life. Not a birthday card. (It's completely fine by the way, his choice and that's that.

Paid my mum the absolute minimum in child support (peanuts). And went on to have another family who he does acknowledge. Pretty sure there are plenty of women in similar situations these days too.

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 10:52

LucyMonth · 23/12/2025 10:32

He’s going for 1.5 hours. That is absolutely not opting out of being a father and husband. What hysterical lunacy.

No his child will not be aware it’s Christmas at 1.5 years old.

No his wife isn’t “hosting guests” she’s having HER Mum and Dad round.

No he isn’t “more interested” in enjoying himself with his friends. He’s going to the gym…for 1.5 hours and the other 22.5 hours will be spent in devotional servitude to his wife and child he adores I’m sure.

Show quote history

You seem to be very well informed about OP's H .

None of us know the state of OP's marriage.

She says surely he can give it a miss " for one bloody day" and that very much suggests her H goes to the gym every day of the year.

Why anyone would think her wanting him to give it a miss on Christmas day is unreasonable is a mystery to me.

Also a mystery to me is the " cool wives" once again bending over backwards to excuse men's behaviour and calling any one who dares to criticise it " controlling"

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 10:52

myglowupera · 23/12/2025 10:48

I didn’t know the gym would even be open on Christmas Day. The poor people being forced to work.

Some open and some don't. My local council gym closes on Christmas and boxing day

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 10:53

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 10:52

You seem to be very well informed about OP's H .

None of us know the state of OP's marriage.

She says surely he can give it a miss " for one bloody day" and that very much suggests her H goes to the gym every day of the year.

Why anyone would think her wanting him to give it a miss on Christmas day is unreasonable is a mystery to me.

Also a mystery to me is the " cool wives" once again bending over backwards to excuse men's behaviour and calling any one who dares to criticise it " controlling"

Show quote history

I'm not married by the way - I'm very single. I'm not bending over backwards to excuse anything. I just don't see that someone going to the gym for 90 minutes on Christmas day is a huge big deal

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 10:56

aCatCalledFawkes · 23/12/2025 10:47

I find this response OTT and a bit bonkerish. He's going to the gym which has massive mental and physical benefits, he's not to the pub to get drunk with the lads. Plenty of women have commented on this thread they will be taking time out for themselves, even the ones with children.

I have seen so my posts about "christmas burnout", "feeling overwhelmed at Christmas" and "seasonal stress". It nice to hear that people are taking time out to get some exercise in for a number of reasons. I think banning it and not allowing that time is more likely to cause mental health problems and ruin Christmas day due to people feeling locked in.

Show quote history

From what OP says he goes to the gym every day.

Surely she is entitled to expect him to give it a miss for one day?

Why does what he wants trump hers?
A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Going to the gym every day when you have a small child is a luxury not many, and certainly not many mothers, can get away with.

Eyeshadow · 23/12/2025 10:58

I personally would want to spend the entire day with my kids on Xmas day.

I couldn’t imagine wanting to see my friends more than my kids on that 1 day.
Surely you can just see them the day before or after.

But if this is what he wants to do then so be it.
Its his choice to make and perhaps you could start doing something special during that time with just you and your DC.

Eyeshadow · 23/12/2025 11:00

tiutinkerbell · 23/12/2025 10:43

We go on Christmas Day also as it's a social thing for us with friends, but both of us go.

I assume you don’t have kids though so it’s fine.

I think it’s fine to go, no one is forced to stay in all day but I think morally it’s one day of the year where people should put their kids before their friends.

aCatCalledFawkes · 23/12/2025 11:01

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 10:56

From what OP says he goes to the gym every day.

Surely she is entitled to expect him to give it a miss for one day?

Why does what he wants trump hers?
A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Going to the gym every day when you have a small child is a luxury not many, and certainly not many mothers, can get away with.

Edited

Show quote history

Do you go to the gym? You sound like you don't and you don't understand why he would want to or what he might get from it?

My exh and I always had gym membership when our daughter was little, I've never not had it and she's now 18yrs. We went as often as we both wanted, there was also a creche on site I put my daughter in too.

TheSunRisesInTheEast · 23/12/2025 11:03

I suspect the OP is taking into consideration what her parents reaction will be when he goes off to the gym on Christmas day. If, like me, they grew up having to do the 'done thing' by joining in with the festivities when all you really want to do is relax in bed with a box of chocolates, glass of whatever takes your fancy, and a good book or internet, then him disappearing for a couple of hours to do as he pleases won't go down well and may cause an atmosphere. Of course I 'played the game' and did/continue to do everything a traditional Christmas expects of me, cards, presents, cooking, entertaining, then sit and take a massive sigh of relief when everyone's gone and I can relax in my PJ's!! Play the game folks, it's only one day

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/12/2025 11:03

Thoseslippers · 23/12/2025 02:11

But that's the issue isn't it?? It's NOT equal. It's always the fucking men.
And whi has to sit there entertaining the kids and relatives?? Who has to get everything ready?
And they might say to you 'well you could go out for a few hours later on' and think that's fair. But you won't be able to because of all the things you have to do. And also you aren't going to want to leave your young children for several hours on christmas day.. well part of you might want to but the biggest part of you is going to feel that duty to make it a special family day for them.. which involves not swanning off to do as you please.
Honestly it grinds my gears so much.
It's like you are caught in a trap. Supposed to just be cool with it when you would never in a million years really be able to do the same as it would be judged and you'd even judge yourself for it.
If I went to the gym with mates for a few hours whilst my ILs were round and my young kids were there on christmas day they would think I was a terrible human being. Because im a mother.
But when it comes to men no one bats an eyelid. And you can say as much as you want, oh just do it, just do the same.. but its ridiculous because it isn't the same at all.

Show quote history

I’ll be going out for a walk while my husband cooks our dinner 🤷‍♀️

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/12/2025 11:05

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 23/12/2025 09:59

I think it's a bit tragic going to the gym on christmas day 😂

Not as tragic as sitting on the sofa all day eating too much.

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 11:12

aCatCalledFawkes · 23/12/2025 11:01

Do you go to the gym? You sound like you don't and you don't understand why he would want to or what he might get from it?

My exh and I always had gym membership when our daughter was little, I've never not had it and she's now 18yrs. We went as often as we both wanted, there was also a creche on site I put my daughter in too.

Show quote history

I don't go to the gym now. But when my DS was young both myself and my DH did. Admittedly not when he was a baby. But from a young age my DS had a junior membership and we went as a family.
From when my DS was a baby though I used to go running and I fitted my runs around when my H was at home .When he got to school age I ran while he was at school.

I am very very aware of the benefits of exercise. Now I'm older I walk every day and have an exercise/ hand weights routine which I do at home.

I just don't accept that her H can't give the gym a miss for one day of the year. If he can't do that I would suggest he actually has either an unhealthy addiction to exercise - which is " a thing" - or he is opting out of family life in Christmas day.

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 11:15

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 10:56

From what OP says he goes to the gym every day.

Surely she is entitled to expect him to give it a miss for one day?

Why does what he wants trump hers?
A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Going to the gym every day when you have a small child is a luxury not many, and certainly not many mothers, can get away with.

Edited

Show quote history

She didn't say that. She said he's into his fitness. There are plenty of women with kids who train. Some gyms have crèche facilities and other gyms have classes where mums and dads can bring their kids along.

Glittertwins · 23/12/2025 11:19

I used to go, very early in the morning as it’s a 24/7 gym. Nobody else in the house was awake either so it was the perfect time to go.

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 11:22

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 11:12

I don't go to the gym now. But when my DS was young both myself and my DH did. Admittedly not when he was a baby. But from a young age my DS had a junior membership and we went as a family.
From when my DS was a baby though I used to go running and I fitted my runs around when my H was at home .When he got to school age I ran while he was at school.

I am very very aware of the benefits of exercise. Now I'm older I walk every day and have an exercise/ hand weights routine which I do at home.

I just don't accept that her H can't give the gym a miss for one day of the year. If he can't do that I would suggest he actually has either an unhealthy addiction to exercise - which is " a thing" - or he is opting out of family life in Christmas day.

Edited

Show quote history

Please. Youre now suggesting that he has an exercise addiction. Do his friends as well? Does everyone who trains at a gym on Christmas day have an exercise addiction?

Don't you think it's time we moved on from the ridiculous scenario that people have to do certain things or they are bad parents? He has to stay at home prepping and chopping potatoes and be glued to his wife and daughter all day or he's acting like a single man?

Going to the gym for 90 minutes is not opting out of family life. On any level

Would you be saying this if the OP posted saying she was going for a walk with her daughter alone or going to the pub with a friend on Christmas day?

Cherrytree86 · 23/12/2025 11:24

Woodwalk · 23/12/2025 00:29

I mean I will definitely be going for a solo walk on Christmas Day. I don't think that's weird at all?

Show quote history

@Dollybantree

whats weird about someone going for a walk by themselves? Time to themselves, clear their head etc. it’s nice. You don’t have to be joined to the hip when you have a family.

Cherrytree86 · 23/12/2025 11:25

Parents should NOT go the gym. If they want to do that kind of thing they shouldn’t have had kids.

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 11:26

Cherrytree86 · 23/12/2025 11:25

Parents should NOT go the gym. If they want to do that kind of thing they shouldn’t have had kids.

You surely can't be serious?

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/12/2025 11:27

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 11:26

You surely can't be serious?

Show quote history

I think that was a joke.

Cherrytree86 · 23/12/2025 11:31

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/12/2025 11:27

I think that was a joke.

Show quote history

I am joking yes but I think for some people they really think a bit like this! Like every hour of the day if not at work has to be “family time” and that something like going to the gym is immature, selfish, self indulgent and vain. It’s crazy!

vanillalattes · 23/12/2025 11:33

I just don't accept that her H can't give the gym a miss for one day of the year. If he can't do that I would suggest he actually has either an unhealthy addiction to exercise - which is " a thing" - or he is opting out of family life in Christmas day.

Do you genuinely, honestly believe it's "opting out of family life" to go to the gym for 90 minutes?