Page 11 | DH going to the gym on Christmas Day!

Wifetobe21 · 2025-12-22T22:11:38+00:00

For about 1.5 hours mid morning. A couple of his mates usually go and have roped him in. He is into his fitness but surely people can give it a miss for one bloody day?!

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 23/12/2025 09:42

good for him!

TheOneWithTheGoat · 23/12/2025 09:44

Zov · 22/12/2025 22:57

They let people go in on their own, into the gym/the building - with a special code - with NO staff there, no-one on site, and no first aid, no nothing? But it's all OK as long as you 'don't have an accident?!'

Really?! 🙃

.

Edited

Show quote history

Yes my local pure gym is open 24/7- including Christmas Day. The gyms unmanned hours are between 10pm and 6am every night so Christmas Day is no different apart from there’s nobody working at all.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 23/12/2025 09:58

Wifetobe21 · 22/12/2025 22:27

1DD age 19 months. My parents will be here too so not just me left with DD

Is he trying to get a bit of peace? I generally go for an hour long walk after dinner (once the cleaning up is done) on Christmas day, whether we're with my family or DPs. I want to enjoy my evening with the people I love, and if I haven't had that hours peace and quiet, then I'm just going to spend the whole time feeling the need to escape.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 23/12/2025 09:59

I think it's a bit tragic going to the gym on christmas day 😂

Clearinguptheclutter · 23/12/2025 09:59

On the fence a bit here. I am planning on going to Christmas parkrun.
however I’m somewhat unusually not cooking this year which basically gives me a free morning. My children are older so after the initial 7am present opening session
i suspect both will disappear until it’s time to leave to go to BiL’s house

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 10:00

wouldnotswapwithyou · 23/12/2025 01:02

Okay fellow Catholics, keep your wigs on - I stand corrected!

Going to mass and being together on Christmas Day - no matter what we’re doing - works for us!

You do you!

I'm not Catholic. I just don't know anyone who is who celebrates Christmas like this

Mincepietastic · 23/12/2025 10:00

Well, you haven't given a lot of context - but I'll play and guess that he has a 19-month old, doesn't do his fair share of childcare or housework, you don't get equal leisure time, he regularly spends a lot of time at the gym, he isn't doing the buying of presents, wrapping of presents, and won't be in the kitchen prepping food before or on Christmas day?

I'm just guessing that it might be something like that because otherwise, I imagine you wouldn't so peed off at this. If the situation is something like, then yes, he is being unreasonable and you have every right to be annoyed.

If it's not really like that, I might have a different opinion!

LucyMonth · 23/12/2025 10:01

Makemeanonymous · 22/12/2025 22:25

I'm not a great one for Christmas but we do try and make Christmas day special and have our own family traditions on that day.

I think it's sad that your H prefers to go off with his pals an do an activity he does regularly throughout the year rather than spend the day with you.

It sounds as though you don't count for very much in the pecking order if his friends and the gym are more important to him than you on Christmas day

Edited

What an utterly ludicrous take.

He’ll be spending 22.5 hours of Christmas Day with his wife, child and in laws. Spending 1.5 hours at the gym does not mean prefers his friends, his wife doesn’t count and she’s low on the pecking order. It’s borderline abusive to be this emotionally manipulative.

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 10:04

TheOneWithTheGoat · 23/12/2025 09:44

Yes my local pure gym is open 24/7- including Christmas Day. The gyms unmanned hours are between 10pm and 6am every night so Christmas Day is no different apart from there’s nobody working at all.

Edited

Show quote history

In Scotland pure gyms are manned on Christmas day and staff get the option of doing shifts during the night - if cleaners are on holiday. There's always someone in the building in Scottish pure gyms 24/7 365 days a year

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 10:05

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 23/12/2025 09:59

I think it's a bit tragic going to the gym on christmas day 😂

Some people don't celebrate Christmas - for religious reasons - it's just another day. When I worked in pure gym the gym certainly wasn't empty on Christmas or new years day

LucyMonth · 23/12/2025 10:08

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 09:15

He has a 19 month old DD .
So even if spending time on Christmas Day with his friends in preference to his wife might be seen as acceptable to some pp I don't see how any one with a young child going to the gym on Christmas Day in preference to watching his dc enjoy the day can be seen as someone who actually cares about his family.

Show quote history

Forget the borderline…this is emotionally abusive.

To suggest someone doesn’t care about their child because they are spending 1.5 hours away from them is batshit.

Would you feel the same if a parent did two 45 minutes dog walks on Christmas Day? Like many will. Or if they popped over to see a relative for an hour or 2 leaving a small child at home in comfort with their new toys instead of dragging them out?

SleafordSods · 23/12/2025 10:08

Wifetobe21 · 22/12/2025 22:27

1DD age 19 months. My parents will be here too so not just me left with DD

So is he cooking or are you? If he goes and then comes back and cooks I think I’d be ok with that. If he’s expecting you to host and cook whilst he’s out then no, if definitely not he ok with him disappearing for that length of time.

Whaleandsnail6 · 23/12/2025 10:12

LucyMonth · 23/12/2025 10:08

Forget the borderline…this is emotionally abusive.

To suggest someone doesn’t care about their child because they are spending 1.5 hours away from them is batshit.

Would you feel the same if a parent did two 45 minutes dog walks on Christmas Day? Like many will. Or if they popped over to see a relative for an hour or 2 leaving a small child at home in comfort with their new toys instead of dragging them out?

Show quote history

I agree with this

And all the posters saying "a woman wouldn't do this..." In spite of the fact many posters have actually said they do similar on Christmas day

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/12/2025 10:12

I think maybe it’s acceptable if he goes at a convenient time, and has earlier cleared a certain amount of the Christmas tasks so as not to put a burden on you.

So if he gets up 1.5 hours before everyone else and eg peels all the veg ready for the lunch, gets things prepped etc, and maybe gets everything set up for breakfast, then it could work.

I was going to say not acceptable if you have either DC or guests, but then thought maybe this is a work around.

Just buggering off and coming back when others have done the work parts of Christmas isn’t on though.

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 10:17

LucyMonth · 23/12/2025 10:08

Forget the borderline…this is emotionally abusive.

To suggest someone doesn’t care about their child because they are spending 1.5 hours away from them is batshit.

Would you feel the same if a parent did two 45 minutes dog walks on Christmas Day? Like many will. Or if they popped over to see a relative for an hour or 2 leaving a small child at home in comfort with their new toys instead of dragging them out?

Show quote history

What her H is doing is the equivalent to what usd to be the norm: going to the pub on Christmas day while the women stayed at home and did all rhe meal preparations while supervising the over excited children.

He is opting out of being a husband and father and leaving OP to do all the work at home whilst looking after his child and being the host to their visitors.

He is behaving like a single man with no responsibility or obligation.

This will be the first. Christmas his child will be actively aware of and he is more interested in meeting up with his pals to enjoy himself rather than watching his child's enjoyment and actually behaving like a parent invested in family life.

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 10:20

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/12/2025 10:12

I think maybe it’s acceptable if he goes at a convenient time, and has earlier cleared a certain amount of the Christmas tasks so as not to put a burden on you.

So if he gets up 1.5 hours before everyone else and eg peels all the veg ready for the lunch, gets things prepped etc, and maybe gets everything set up for breakfast, then it could work.

I was going to say not acceptable if you have either DC or guests, but then thought maybe this is a work around.

Just buggering off and coming back when others have done the work parts of Christmas isn’t on though.

He's going for an hour and a half. It's not a huge amount of time. Why should he need to be up chopping and prepping so that he can go to the gym for 90 minutes

The OP said he was going mid morning

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 10:28

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 10:17

What her H is doing is the equivalent to what usd to be the norm: going to the pub on Christmas day while the women stayed at home and did all rhe meal preparations while supervising the over excited children.

He is opting out of being a husband and father and leaving OP to do all the work at home whilst looking after his child and being the host to their visitors.

He is behaving like a single man with no responsibility or obligation.

This will be the first. Christmas his child will be actively aware of and he is more interested in meeting up with his pals to enjoy himself rather than watching his child's enjoyment and actually behaving like a parent invested in family life.

Show quote history

This is absurd. Going to the gym for 90 minutes =acting like a single man with no responsibility? Being the host - having a meal with in laws?

How do you know he's leaving her to do all the work? Not everyone has a traditional Christmas dinner - my family certainly don't. We don't sit prepping and chopping.

So if he went to the gym today mid morning - that would be fine - but if he did it on Christmas day - that's him opting out of fatherly and hosting duties?

If he was out on the lash every night - opting out of family responsibility. Going to the gym for 90 minutes on Christmas day doesn't make someone a bad father

Plenty of people do it.

BauhausOfEliott · 23/12/2025 10:28

This wouldn't bother me, if it was in that fallow period between present-opening in the morning and dinner in the afternoon.

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 10:29

LucyMonth · 23/12/2025 10:01

What an utterly ludicrous take.

He’ll be spending 22.5 hours of Christmas Day with his wife, child and in laws. Spending 1.5 hours at the gym does not mean prefers his friends, his wife doesn’t count and she’s low on the pecking order. It’s borderline abusive to be this emotionally manipulative.

Show quote history

There are 365 days in a year.
But he can't go for one day without going to the gym and meeting up with his pals?

If he didn't want to sign up for family life he shouldn't have married and had a child.

Globules · 23/12/2025 10:31

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 10:17

What her H is doing is the equivalent to what usd to be the norm: going to the pub on Christmas day while the women stayed at home and did all rhe meal preparations while supervising the over excited children.

He is opting out of being a husband and father and leaving OP to do all the work at home whilst looking after his child and being the host to their visitors.

He is behaving like a single man with no responsibility or obligation.

This will be the first. Christmas his child will be actively aware of and he is more interested in meeting up with his pals to enjoy himself rather than watching his child's enjoyment and actually behaving like a parent invested in family life.

Show quote history

In the 80s, I remember my mum and step dad prepping everything Christmas Eve -all the veggies in salted water in saucepans on the hob and the turkey cooked sitting in gravy overnight in the oven.

We all then went to the pub 11am -2pm Christmas Day.

Then came home and they cooked it all. Used to eat about 4pm.

So what you're describing certainly wasn't my norm and the norm of the other families we used to see in the very full pub.

LucyMonth · 23/12/2025 10:32

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 10:17

What her H is doing is the equivalent to what usd to be the norm: going to the pub on Christmas day while the women stayed at home and did all rhe meal preparations while supervising the over excited children.

He is opting out of being a husband and father and leaving OP to do all the work at home whilst looking after his child and being the host to their visitors.

He is behaving like a single man with no responsibility or obligation.

This will be the first. Christmas his child will be actively aware of and he is more interested in meeting up with his pals to enjoy himself rather than watching his child's enjoyment and actually behaving like a parent invested in family life.

Show quote history

He’s going for 1.5 hours. That is absolutely not opting out of being a father and husband. What hysterical lunacy.

No his child will not be aware it’s Christmas at 1.5 years old.

No his wife isn’t “hosting guests” she’s having HER Mum and Dad round.

No he isn’t “more interested” in enjoying himself with his friends. He’s going to the gym…for 1.5 hours and the other 22.5 hours will be spent in devotional servitude to his wife and child he adores I’m sure.

ThatIcyPoet · 23/12/2025 10:36

That's actually a super cool thing to do! Way better than just sitting on the couch watching telly and eating like we're usually doing 😂Why is that a problem? He would be absent for a 1,5 hours and it would be in the morning, there is plenty of time for him to spend with family and your parents still. Basically the rest of the day?

FrodisCapering · 23/12/2025 10:38

I'm going to spin. It's the only class on at the gym that day. 45 mins class and 15 mins each way drive. What's the big deal?
Surely kids will be playing with their toys by then?
We have our Xmas dinner on the 24th so all we will need to do is heat up picky bits.
Everything is closed on Boxing Day so I'll probably do an early morning run.
Better than feeling awful!

xSideshowAuntSallyXx · 23/12/2025 10:39

TheOneWithTheGoat · 23/12/2025 09:44

Yes my local pure gym is open 24/7- including Christmas Day. The gyms unmanned hours are between 10pm and 6am every night so Christmas Day is no different apart from there’s nobody working at all.

Edited

Show quote history

When they're unmanned they are remotely monitored. So Puregym are paying people to sit in a room somewhere watching all the CCTV so people can get their gym fix on Christmas day it isn't totally unmanned or unmonitored (it's a safety issue more than anything).

My gym is open 24 hours and is remotely managed from 10pm to 6am. It's closed on Christmas Day and Boxing Day to give those who remotely monitor days off as well. I have a lot of respect for a company that does that. A gym isn't a life or death situation or even an important business need.

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 10:41

Roobarbtwo · 23/12/2025 10:28

This is absurd. Going to the gym for 90 minutes =acting like a single man with no responsibility? Being the host - having a meal with in laws?

How do you know he's leaving her to do all the work? Not everyone has a traditional Christmas dinner - my family certainly don't. We don't sit prepping and chopping.

So if he went to the gym today mid morning - that would be fine - but if he did it on Christmas day - that's him opting out of fatherly and hosting duties?

If he was out on the lash every night - opting out of family responsibility. Going to the gym for 90 minutes on Christmas day doesn't make someone a bad father

Plenty of people do it.

Show quote history

Well it's obviously an issue for OP otherwise she wouldn't have started the thread.

She says his friends " roped him in". Which suggests he didn't discuss it with OP. And if he is blaming his friends for twisting his arm to do this then he must know his wife won't be happy and that this is not considered a normal way to celebrate Christmas in their home.

Arranging stuff with your friends on Christmas day without discussing with your wife and going ahead and doing it even if she is not happy IS the attitude of a single man. He hasn't taken on the mindset of a partner and father.

And no matter how you look at things Christmas day is different from any other day of the year. Even for those who don't celebrate in the traditional way or those who are alone in that day it has a very different quality to any other day of the year.
And I think pp who are arguing that what OP's H is intending to do is in any way the norm for a married man with a very young child are being disingenuous.