DH going to the gym on Christmas Day!

[Wifetobe21]

For about 1.5 hours mid morning. A couple of his mates usually go and have roped him in.

He is into his fitness but surely people can give it a miss for one bloody day?!

And this is how so many women end up burned out and martyring themselves on the altar of Christmas thinking they have to abide by old fashioned notions of perfection. Get off the treadmill (pun intended per thread topic), stop playing games you are not interested in. If my parents or in-laws dared to have an attitude about things not being traditional enough, they can vote with their feet and not come in future.

It's a short period - Christmas Day is a full 24 hours. I think everyone is entitled to a bit of headspace, whether that's the gym, running or just sitting in bed reading a book. My husband will probably go out on his bike for an hour, which he'll enjoy and making him better to be around (he can get a bit "caged lion" 😂).
It's supposed to be a day for people to enjoy, after all..... let him enjoy it, OP.

It depends whether or not it leaves you in the lurch, or gets in the way of planned things with the children, but in principle exercise is fine on Christmas Day - some people really need it, e.g. exercise is very important for me as it helps to keep my anxiety in check and is often the difference between a good and bad day (especially currently with a new baby and all the challenges that brings). I’ll either run or sea swim on the day, and myself or my husband will run with the dog - between us that means at least a couple of hours exercising as one needs to be with the baby, but it’s the norm for us and means we both have a significantly better day and we will get it done early. It just depends on your circumstances. I’m surprised a gym is open, though, but guess things are different if you’re in a city! The poor gym workers!!

Exactly this and I’d be willing to bet a lot that the OP will not get this; so it’s not ok.

Why wouldn't she?

Same as when men would all go down to the pub on Christmas morning...

I'm off to the pool for an hour swim early on Christmas Day. My local council pool is open until 1pm and plan to be back at home by 10am at the latest.

I have 10 guests for Christmas lunch with the earliest arriving at 12pm. Easily doable. 😁

To me, the main issue is the time he's going to the gym. Mid-morning on Christmas Day is often peak busyness in many (most?) households. People are prepping Christmas lunch, or tidying the house for guests, or entertaining/greeting guests who have already arrived, or still opening gifts. I think there's a strong chance the OP's husband will be leaving her to take care of everything when he's away.

If he was planning on going early in the morning (say, before 8am), or later in the afternoon, I'd say the OP was being unreasonable. But mid-morning? Not unreasonable to ask he stays home to pitch in, or goes to the gym at a different time.

Oh - and I know about 10-15 female friends/acquaintances off the top of my head who have husbands and young kids. I cannot picture any of those women swanning off to enjoy their hobby for 90 minutes mid-morning on Christmas Day. Not one. It would simply be unheard of.

But he can go to the gym any day of the year. Christmas Day is just one day, and to me he should want to spend it with his family. It isn't about whether a child knows what Christmas is or not - there's still joy to be had spending time as a family (well, once the stressy preps are out of the way, anyway). This does make me wonder if there's something in the mix that he's not telling OP about, although I hope I'm wrong.

It's the fact it's Christmas day that is the issue.
You know: that day of the year when people who are lucky enough to have families, and particularly young children, actually make their families the focus of their attention.

And taking 90 minutes to yourself doesn't prevent that.

I am so, so glad I don't live in a household where we're expected to spend the day attached at the hip "because it's Christmas". I'm also glad I wasn't raised like that either. It all sounds very claustrophobic.

I have no idea whether he has an exercise addiction or not. But I do know that is a very real thing. And the fact he can't give up his gym visit for one day would suggest that is at least a possibility.

Similarly perhaps some of you on this thread have " moved on" from.the concept of Christmas day being about the family and children. But the fact OP has started this thread because she sees him prioritising his gym and friends over his family indicates that she hasn't "moved on".

Most parents lead very very busy lives juggling work commitments, family organisation, social life, friends and hobbies. It is exceedingly sad that some pp on this thread think that actually having one day of the year dedicated to family time too much to ask of a man who is supposed to be a husband and father.

You really know families who only focus on them for one day a year? Or do you genuinely think christmas is the only day you can do that? What about all the families who don’t celebrate christmas?

I think it is sad that you actually equate spending Christmas day at home with your family as being " joined at the hip".
Especially when one of the family is a very young child.

This is so narrow-minded it's unreal.

You don't need to be tied together all day to prove your commitment.

Because those things need doing as well as numerous other things. I’d have thought it was obvious why.

OP's child is 19 months old and has absolutely no concept of Christmas.

And you can think it's "sad" all you want. I personally think it's very narrow minded to assume your way of doing things is the only correct way.

Completely unreasonable. You don’t have to spend every minute together and it’s only a couple of hours. Your parents are there as well?

How long has he got off? Unless it’s his only day off, but still you live together I take it? I would be really annoyed if my dh said I wasn’t allowed to go.

Completely unreasonable. You don’t have to spend every minute together and it’s only a couple of hours. Your parents are there as well?

How long has he got off? Unless it’s his only day off, but still you live together I take it? I would be really annoyed if my dh said I wasn’t allowed to go.

Well if you are single there is nothing in the world to prevent you going to the gym whenever you like , even on Christmas day. Good on you for enjoying your single life.

You may have noticed OP 's H took the decision to marry. He took the decision to have a life partner. And he took the decision to have a child. Which means adopting a different outlook to a single person such as yourself. Because he no longer should beputting what he needs and wants at the forefront of his decisions. He has other people to consider, not just himself.

@Makemeanonymous

you can still have a lovely family focused day and take 90 minutes out to go to the gym! Children dont need to be stared at adoringly by their parents every second of every hour to have a great Christmas Day. Also you do know that human beings are supposed to exercise every day right? No wonder people in our society are so unhealthy !

@Makemeanonymous

also for a lot of people spending the entire day at home
feels very oppressive and claustrophobic, it’s not really
natural. We need fresh air and exercise and changes of environment. Not being cooped up all day.

You think it’s claustrophobic to spend 1 entire day with your own kids???

Geez poor kids!

I’m on the fence. If you don’t want him to go because he wants you to help with lunch and your DD then yeah not unreasonable to ask him not to go.
But if you just don’t want him to go because you think he should be at home that’s unreasonable especially if your parents are perfectly happy entertaining DD while you do the cooking.
Obviously he should do the tidying up after lunch so you can chill.
Some people hate being cooped up all day at Christmas- my DH went on a 1.5h walk with the dog last year after lunch, he hates all the sitting around after lunch thing.

It's more tragic to sit stuffing your face and getting pissed, or sitting in front of the TV.