AIBU to ask what's the worst thing you've ever overheard someone say about you?

[Buttercup212]

Just that really. Luckily I haven't overheard anything about myself yet, but it occurred to me today that it must happen fairly often and I'm just curious to be honest! Also, if it happened to you, did the relationship survive afterwards or did you fall out?

Staying with a boyfriend’s parents and meeting them at the time. I’d been there the Saturday and thought we’d had a nice time, I’d bought then wine, asked about their new extension, been nice I thought.

Anyway as I was going in the kitchen to get something from my handbag, I heard them talking to each other about my weight, size 14. Saying I was a bit porkier than their son had dated before and that my dress wasn’t nice! I went in, they seemed embarrassed but I stupidly didn’t say anything. Made the rest of the weekend awful. Me feel awful. Our relationship didn’t survive and it was one of the main reasons!

These experiences shared are brutal.
Thoughts to all that have been spoken about like dirt.

A guy at uni said to my friend 'imagine seeing happytap naked' and then did a vomiting face and my friend laughed and agreed. I had put on weight and was a size 16 but I really don't think that was called for! I still think of it sometimes when I'm changing.

I heard my Mum say she preferred my sister. I was four. I have never recovered. I can remember it like it was yesterday.

Where I have I said that on this thread? (where it would actually be relevant).

Wow, you honestly shouldn’t let this bother you in any way. It’s nothing to do with you and everything to do with how disgusting these men are. Unfortunately some men (especially in toxic male-dominated workplaces) talk like this about women when they think no-one is listening. They sound like thick, misogynistic twats who fancied you but knew you wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire. I dealt with all this kind of shit too in the 90’s and it was rife.

But honestly don’t give it a second thought all these years later - every woman encounters men like this in her lifetime unfortunately.

Overheard ex boyfriend’s sister commenting that I was nothing compared to his ex and expressing complete shock at why he’d go out with me. His Dad was in the same room as me and tried to distract me. The whole family was toxic so it was a relief when we broke up, knowing I wouldn’t have to see them again.
Worst was in hospital with DD when she was suicidal at my lowest point and overhearing the nurse loudly telling her colleagues that I was performative and DDs mental health was no doubt down to family issues. I was trying to put on a brave face for DD who was there when I spoke to the nurse. No doubt it came across as strange because I was trying not to fall apart for DDs sake. Heard her telling colleagues the next morning that she had no mental health training (but was working on a mental health ward) which was evident.

When I was 23 I was really sick for 5 years, bedridden for some of it, housebound for most. My mother made me move back in with her so she could look after me she said. I overheard her telling my little brothers that I was lying about being ill and that she moved me back in to prove it to every one. She never did end up proving it..

That's one example out of hundreds anyway.

Wow, that is heartbreaking. They are both twats, and that teacher shouldn’t be anywhere near children.

The middle manager who informed me that I had no business being in my job because disabled people are only fit for things like cleaning or collecting trollies in supermarkets.

Seemed quite surprised that I had the mental acuity to know the law and to follow formal procedures. I wrote the formal procedure.

Temping in a job, stood behind some filing cabinets and heard two blokes discussing me.

Phrases like “golden girl” “brown nosing” “probably shagging someone” were used.

Basically they’d been there doing the job (poorly) for many MANY years. I turned up and having never done the role before had managed to reduce work backlogs from 14 weeks to 5 all in a couple of months.

I was (unintentionally) showing them up for the lazy incompetent bastards they were and they hated me for it.

I review internal communications as part of my job, I frequently remind people that it is all monitored by me. I have a junior colleague that loves to make fun of my physical features and clothing. For reference, I’m very normal looking, and dress work appropriate, though apparently wearing the same skirt once every two weeks isn’t allowed without ridicule. She just found out I know quite literally everything. January shall be interesting…

Wow. What a piece of work.

When I was 11, and living with my dad and step-mum (awful bullying woman), my dad told me I'd have to go into a home because neither he nor my mum wanted me.

Although we sporadically had contact after that, that moment was pretty much the end of our relationship.

At college 2 girls walking behind me down a corridor. 1 said to the other don’t like her. Other girl said I don’t either. Then at that moment my right knee went funny and I nearly fell. I broke my kneecap when I was 11 and every so often it just seems to go weak.

1 laughed and said she nearly fell over. I turned round and said I had broken my kneecap and it just does that sometimes then said i don’t like either of you either. I was friends with the other girls in the class and some of the lads as well. They weren’t friends with each other so don’t know why she felt the need to say it.

That’s awful, I’m so sorry. I wonder if she meant it in the heat of the moment. I'm sure you were very loved.

I know I’ve been gossip fodder but it’d kill me to see it written down.

The men in my old workplace ranking women in terms of football leagues. Premier league, 1st league etc. I was the bottom league.

Someone said the S word the other day on the local police facebook page. 2 brothers had been sentenced for drug dealing. The men’s mother commented oh my boys wouldn’t harm anyone they would do anything for anyone blah blah. Someone replied with oh just ignore the S’s. I was furious I reported the comment I’m way past getting into arguments on social media over comments from silly little girls.

When I was 10 I heard Mum and Dad arguing about me. Dad said, she's just like you, thinks she's never wrong, Mum said, no she's like you she thinks she knows everything.

problem is,I think Dad was right. I'm in my 70s now and cannot quite understand why anyone would think they were wrong. Imagine thinking, today I'm going to think only wrong things. Makes no sense to me.

I'm open to facts that prove me wrong in what I'm thinking, and I'll happily change my views when circumstances change, or new information is presented.

but yes, I always think I'm right.

The last Christmas I didn’t spend with my family, my BIL came & picked me up because I didn’t drive.
When I walked through the door, my entire family’s mouths’ slammed shut so hard I’m surprised their teeth didn’t break.
I was obviously the topic of conversation.
I turned right around and walked out and got an Uber home.
I haven’t been back.
They never said a word to me.
What gets me is there were people in there talking loudly with whom I had never once had a conversation, like the husband of a niece.
I rarely talked to ANY OF THEM to be a topic of conversation or gossip or lies.
The low down dirty gossiping of your “loved ones” doesn’t get much worse.

When I was 31, I overheard my uncle say - apropos of nothing - that I’d left it too late to find a decent man, probably wouldn’t have got one anyway because I was “just like [DM]”, was left on the shelf and well past my sell-by date for marriage. I was OLD and having a torrid time of it, recently dumped after 18 months and feeling fragile. I didn’t challenge him at the time - just went home in tears. Then I had a large glass of wine (Dutch courage) and sent him a text telling him I’d overheard and calling him a cunt.

We’ve never spoken since that day and good riddance.

Not me, but a lie about me...I intercollated following the sudden death of my teenage DB. I was around 26 at the time. A short while later DH was stood in a queue when he overheard a student on my course. She was discussing with someone else (presumably another student I was at university with, a small coastal campus), why I suddenly disappeared. They asked what happened to me and she told them I'd had a breakdown and been sectioned.
Why do people just make shit up like that? I was deeply traumatised by my DB's death and chose to restart that year after taking some time out to grieve. Are these people so boring they need to lie to make their conversation more interesting?

I became quite badly ill and then disabled about 13 years ago. My husband stood by me and has supported/cared for me every day without fail.
I had a great relationship with my mother in law and we talked about everything together. Until I found out that a mutual friend had told MIL that my DH "runs around looking after PoorUncleBarry" and my MIL replied "Well more fool him". It broke me and our relationship has never been the same since. She admitted that she said it.
My mother told me that she didnt care that my boyfriend had raped me (I was 19 when it happened) because she liked him and thought I couldn't do any better than him.
My dad who adopted me was contacted by his long lost sister who asked him if he had any children, he said no.
Life is fucking cruel.