Neighbour just told Dd Father Christmas doesn’t exist

[Grinchisbackbackagain]

Dd just went to her neighbour friends house, he’s a year older at age 8. She came back saying he said santa doesn’t exist and the parents do it and it’s just to get the kids excited 😔
I’m so upset, I didn’t work it out until a few years later and we love to do all the magical bits in our house
I didn’t know what to say and sort of denied it, I think she just knows though, feel cross!

My 8yo is autistic, he semi believes in Santa but Jesus he's like no it's illogical it isn't real 😂😂

I find this such a strange concept. Im not a parent but I do teach infants and the amount of made up bollocks they come out with is insane. An accountant dad was apparently in fact a fireman, a spayed family dog had puppies last night, one child went on holiday to Spain after school and was back in time for breakfast club the next day. The only reason this is annoying is because you know the kid is actually telling truth so YOU feel let down. Otherwise it's surely just part of the shite kids speak.

My 4 year old isn't sure if we're real. He thinks someone might just be imagining us.

@Grinchisbackbackagain The last Christmas I believed was the Christmas I was 9. By the year I was 10, I knew (this was the late 1980s so pre-internet).

But crucially, by the age of 9, I had already run the gamut of every smart arsed little know-it-all at school telling believe there was no such thing as Santa. I had heard it all. Even when I was wavering, I just recalibrated. I didn't stop believing until I was ready to. Maybe your daughter will be the same.

When I was in school there were always kids in my class who didn't believe. I think it's because they were jealous, as they knew Santa wouldn't come to children who didn't believe in him.

Your kids ask Santa for presents and they get them. How do they explain that? Honestly, some people...

I just say “Oh did he/she say that. What do you think?” In these circumstances and then remain very non committal.

Kids say all sorts all the time and unless you generally argue about it then making a big thing of this will just make your own kids super suspicious.

No one is being a “shit bag” or trying to wreck things for other kids they are just behaving like perfectly normal kids. I do a cubs group and by then (8-10) they are always pretty dubious about the whole thing so probably she’d have picked it up soon. If she mainly still thinks it’s real then the presents in a few days will convince her. If she mainly thinks it isn’t then it’s likely not really this kid that’s caused it but a build up of lots of little observations.

He would have told his younger brother for sure. Not capable to keep a secret to this day (he's 15)

I know how you feel. My only just turned 7 year old has been told by a couple of friends. Right now she's claiming she believes anyway but I dont really believe her and this is clearly the last year we'll even get away with the pretence.

Don't label him as naughty, because he hasn't been. He's excited to discover the truth, and wants to share - he's far too young to understand the implications of what he's done.

Look, 7 is peak age for some kid saying Santa isn't real. If it wasn't your NDN it would be someone else. You've had lots of suggestions on how to handle it. When DD1 came home from school bearing the news, I said, "Hmm yes, I've heard people say that. Truth is, like all magic nobody knows for sure. I reckon he still comes to kids who believe in him. What do you think?". She said, "Well, I'm going to believe in him" and that was that for a couple of years. She chose to believe until it became the minority view among her peers.

Dd2 seemed to be disabused very early on. Presumably by her sister. Remember when you are slagging other children off for telling yours, that in time your child too will be telling others that there's no Santa.

I’ll never forget the moment my brother told me. Ruinous little bastard. He hasn’t changed either. I’m sorry for your DD.

I genuinely lol'd at your son's quotes and calling him a little arsehole hahaha absolutely brilliant.

OP, I'm so sorry you didn't get to tell her the truth yourself. I remember reading once that the kids who get told The Truth are enlisted as "special Christmas helpers" or something? They then have to pick a neighbour's house and secretly leave a present outside "from Father Christmas/Santa Claus" to help keep the magic alive for other kids who don't know yet. If you Google it, I'm sure the proper story will come up as it seems like a really sweet way to handle it and keep the magic going for kids even if they no longer believe. I can only partly remember it so have probably done a terrible job of explaining!

I’ve joked with friends before what if we are all just sims in someone else’s computer 😂

Superb parenting of an obviously intelligent child.

Well done!

Someone was going to tell her pretty soon. Most children half know by this age anyway. I mean a strange old man coming into their room at night would be pretty scary if they completely believed in it.

I'm having a vision of all these lovely 'innocent' children going back to the "little shitbags" and saying, "my mum says you're horrible and naughty and Santa isn't going to bring you any presents". Charming.

Season of goodwill, everyone.

And then they come back.

“Well I got a brand new Xbox what did you get!?? “

Runs of list of not an Xbox sized gift. Ponders was I the naughty one?

Tell her that Santa doesn't come to his house because he's bad, so he's just bitter!

I think that in general, when a child listens to the doubters and expresses doubt themselves, they are ready to stop believing. A true believer would just refuse to accept what the other child said. "What do you mean? Of course he's real!" I understand wanting to keep the magic alive, but if a seed of doubt has been sown (which was bound to happen) I don't see it as a terrible thing.

As an aside, I hope you don't tell your child that the neighbour boy is on the naughty list. Of course, it's up to you how you handle the situation, I'm just expressing my thoughts. We have adopted children in our family. They have clear memories of not receiving any presents at Christmas when they were still in their first home. They honestly have enough to cope with from an emotional standpoint without hearing that the reason Santa didn't bring them anything was because of their bad behaviour. And yes, some charming children have told them exactly that.

Kids all talk about this all the time! The opening premise of most xmas films usually involves someone who doesn't believe in father christmas (and who then gets convinced by the end of the film). Loads of kids don't even celebrate Christmas at all 🤷‍♀️

I look at it as him telling her he doesn't believe. It's up to her what she believes.

People calling an eight year old all manner of names - how festive.

My boys never believed and neither did either of us although I certainly grew up with ‘Father Christmas’ gifts and one year my Dad tied a bag of presents to the chimney and sent my older brothers out of the skylight to get them back in…

for my boys it never made sense and they treat things like that the same way they treat religion - respect other peoples beliefs and if it’s not harmful then don’t discuss it. So they have never told any other child the truth. And we still read ‘Twas the night before Christmas because it’s a lovely poem

Personally I don’t like the Father Christmas/ elf on the shelf stories. They are creepy and the message about people observing you and
coming into your house sends the wrong message. I have watched a lot of Criminal
Minds though.

When DD1 came home from school bearing the news, I said, "Hmm yes, I've heard people say that. Truth is, like all magic nobody knows for sure. I reckon he still comes to kids who believe in him. What do you think?"

Oh I like that!

I used logic on my son.

Either parents everywhere all over the world are colluding in the same lie and actually hiding presents around the house but pretend a man in a red suit flies around the world on a sleigh pulled by magical reindeer to deliver them all in one night.

Or, he's real.

He opted for real. Occam's Razor 😉

Santa didn't stop coming to see me til I was 28 and it was too much for my mama with 3 kids. My. Daughter is 38 and as long as she doesn't tell me she doesn't believe in Santa Claus, he fills up her stocking and "Santa Bag". I enjoy it as much as she does !!!

I read that was Year 11 and was thinking they sounded more evil than some of my pupils were, and they were bad!

I like the style of your four year old.