For fuck’s sake - I cannot take this anymore

[fedupwiththisshit2]

I live in a small house with DH and two DC. The constant stream of crap into our house completely overwhelms me. DH insists on buying absolutely rubbish toys and comics constantly for the kids that we can’t afford, along with the inevitable plastic tat (or yet another pack of small pencils, even though we have tons of pencils already). A week after they come into the house I chuck it all into the bin and the DC don’t even notice. It disgusts me that our house has basically become an intermediary stop for a load of plastic tat between shop and landfill. I’ve told DH not to do this but he doesn’t stop. I’ve had enough and am at my wits end. I want to have a few mindful toys that are good quality, not this constant stream of plastic crap. How can I force him to stop?

Well the obvious question is why won’t he stop? Does he agree with you? Disagree if so why? Have you discussed it with him?

Yes, I’ve said I don’t want it anymore. But he insists on taking the DC to the local shop after school and buying them crap.

I think he sees it as a fun little present. But I can’t stand it

How old are dc? Do they want the “mindful” toys you do?

why should your feelings on it override his and your childrens?

They’re 7 and 5. When I say mindful I mean Lego, playdough, dolls, train sets - anything but plastic tat like fake mobile phones and purses with cats wearing sunglasses on them!

Does he buy them stuff to keep them amused, so he doesn’t have to?

That would drive me nuts as well. Can you talk to DH about maybe finding another way to 'treat' the kids that might be less wasteful? Like taking to the park more often, doing something together instead?

Because I think it’s wrong to buy a constant stream of cheap plastic tat that is used for five minutes then discarded when the planet is facing a climate disaster?

Plus of course the cost of it ......

You could have a decent trip on the proceeds once or twice a year

i understand that. Doesn't answer the question though.

I think we are married to the same man. I think in my DHs case he couldn’t afford things in his childhood so he over compensates now.

Well I think it does. My feelings should override his in this instance because I’m clearly right.

Involve the kids. Talk to them about the environment and saving the earth, taking care of toys etc., and that if something new comes in, something old has to go out. School did something similar with mine and they’ve been great about saying no to stuff they don’t actually want.

As a short term measure back it all up and then offer it to the local school for their summer fete or stick it on a free Facebook group.

Could you move to the idea of pocket money instead and encourage the kids to save for a much wanted item instead?

Hmm, I think that might be the case with my DH too.

This would annoy me too but you can’t force him to stop. Because you share the kids, the house and the money and he’s allowed to make his own choices about what to bring into it. Unless he never tidies up all of the little toys or doesn’t contribute to the bills fairly in which case you’ve got bigger problems than the little toys.

Can you get him a book about being eco conscious for Christmas? Also ‘the joy of living with less’ or something similar? May be, the Marie Kondo book too. If he likes reading that is…

A few people in my extended family have a buying problem, which is linked to not having had much as a child.

Would it bother you less if it was charity shop stuff ie second hand - could he take them there or to car boot sales etc to get stuff? And then donate it back when you have a clear out, rather than throwing away (which you could do now if the stuff is sellable).

I don't think you can override because of a moral highground. You have different beliefs and values around this issue, but that doesn't mean one of you is right and the other is wrong.

I don’t often say this, but in this instance I do think I am right and he is wrong? What can possibly be right about buying a constant stream of crappily made plastic “toys” from China that the kids play with for a day and then forget about?

I have refused to buy my kids those crappy magazines with plastic crap on them for years despite the constant pleading. I have on occasion bought the ones with Lego as that is not thrown away. But mainly they have subscriptions to comics that are (slightly) better quality and certainly without any extra crap.

Don't argue, just donate them to a charity shop. The kids will be too old soon anyway for those kind of toys.

Yes, Lego is absolutely fine. It’s the fake mobile phones, the cheap and tacky wands, the crappy building blocks that don’t even stick together properly, the purses with (quite frankly disturbing) odd characters on them etc etc etc that I don’t like!

Not to mention the endless packets of tiny pencils and pens when we’ already have a perfectly good set of both at home

I’m just sick of the endless stream of rubbish coming into our house, then exiting via the bin a week later. I feel like I’m a rubbish sorting facility. Plus it’s horrendous for the planet.