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Original poster

For fuck’s sake - I cannot take this anymore

131 replies

fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 21:13

I live in a small house with DH and two DC. The constant stream of crap into our house completely overwhelms me. DH insists on buying absolutely rubbish toys and comics constantly for the kids that we can’t afford, along with the inevitable plastic tat (or yet another pack of small pencils, even though we have tons of pencils already). A week after they come into the house I chuck it all into the bin and the DC don’t even notice. It disgusts me that our house has basically become an intermediary stop for a load of plastic tat between shop and landfill. I’ve told DH not to do this but he doesn’t stop. I’ve had enough and am at my wits end. I want to have a few mindful toys that are good quality, not this constant stream of plastic crap. How can I force him to stop?

OP posts:
Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:16

Justchilling07 · 21/12/2025 22:11

The children aren’t really bothered, not interested.
Op has said they haven’t got the room for all this junk and that is what it is, to be fair to op.Op’s husband is just doing what he wants to do, disregarding, his wife’s views, they can’t really afford it all and the children are not asking for it, so what’s the point!

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Exactly. But I should still accommodate my husband’s views and not impose on his wish to buy a constant stream of rubbish, according to one (probably male) poster on this thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:17

RomeoRivers · 21/12/2025 22:16

I totally get it; my DD asked for a plastic ‘Minnie Mouse phone, like her friend’ and I told her: unfortunately Father Christmas knows mummy doesn’t like plastic… 😂

Little Dutch is your friend. Tell your DH that comics are now banned, but he can get the kids to choose something from Little Dutch every week, plus one activity (softplay, farm, swimming, park etc).

While weekly presents aren’t ideal, at least it’s better than the plastic shit you’re currently dealing with, and over time you should build up a nice little collection that will keep them occupied.

Thanks, I will look into this!

OP posts:
Happyjoe · 21/12/2025 22:17

ChillingWithMySnowmies · 21/12/2025 22:07

I don't consider "because i said so" or words to that effect to be an answer to the question of why one parents opinion should override the others.

It's the kind of answer a parent gives a child when they question the reasoning behind some arbitrary rule.

Not one person i've ever asked has ever given me an answer to this question, and this poster also failed.

"Because i'm right and they're wrong" is not an answer. It's an opinion wrapped up as an Edict.

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The OP did. Even if you don't mind about the environmental reasons, she said they can't afford it.
So why shouldn't hubby take that on board, if nothing else? Far better to save that money for a holiday, something that actually benefits everyone.

wineosaurusrex · 21/12/2025 22:19

Ugh another 'tat' thread. Stop throwing it away if you don't want it all to end up in landfill? Just let the kids enjoy their toys without smuggling it into a bin! Such an odd thing to do?

Happyjoe · 21/12/2025 22:22

wineosaurusrex · 21/12/2025 22:19

Ugh another 'tat' thread. Stop throwing it away if you don't want it all to end up in landfill? Just let the kids enjoy their toys without smuggling it into a bin! Such an odd thing to do?

The OP said the children don't even notice, so hardly playing/enjoying their toys. And not so odd if the discarded toys are just stuffed with all the other discarded toys in every nook and cranny of the house. That would drive me up the wall too.

Vodka1 · 21/12/2025 22:22

How are they supposed to play with it if you keep throwing it away?

Most kids don't play with the same toys every day, but they'll go back to them after a few weeks or the following month.

Your DH is replacing them because you're throwing them out, surely.

Just put them in a toy box and leave it alone wtf, there is no need to throw out your childrens stuff just because it's plastic

Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:23

wineosaurusrex · 21/12/2025 22:19

Ugh another 'tat' thread. Stop throwing it away if you don't want it all to end up in landfill? Just let the kids enjoy their toys without smuggling it into a bin! Such an odd thing to do?

But they don’t enjoy it - that’s the point. They play with it for a day at most, then never look at it again. Perhaps you have the luxury of a massive house where you can store endless piles of stuff. I don’t!

OP posts:
RitaFromThePitCanteen · 21/12/2025 22:24

fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:06

So you’re saying I should dump a load of bags of this stuff at my local charity shop that already says they are inundated?

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The issue with your DH buying toys for your children seems to have been going on for a while. I find it unlikely that all charity shops in your vicinity have said they permanently want no toy donations, ever.

I mean, if they have somehow actually said that, then fair enough, but then it may have been worth mentioning that on this thread from the get go, to save all excessive the back and forth about why not take them to the charity shop (which you repeatedly answered with "I don't think it's fair to offload plastic tat on charity shops" not "my charity shop has a ban on toy donations").

BertieBotts · 21/12/2025 22:25

No I'm not a bloke, despite the posting name.

Not saying you have to accommodate anything - I would probably keep throwing it out if DH did this too, which TBF he does a bit, just not as frequently as you describe. I just fundamentally disagree with the point you keep bringing up which is that you are "right" therefore he should listen to you and doesn't get a say in the matter. It would be weird and controlling if it was the other way around. The reasonable approach is to talk about it and/or find a compromise though which TBF I did suggest in my first post.

I might be taking the whole thing a bit too literally though and maybe you are joking in which case I apologise (sometimes I find jokes hard to read online).

Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:26

Vodka1 · 21/12/2025 22:22

How are they supposed to play with it if you keep throwing it away?

Most kids don't play with the same toys every day, but they'll go back to them after a few weeks or the following month.

Your DH is replacing them because you're throwing them out, surely.

Just put them in a toy box and leave it alone wtf, there is no need to throw out your childrens stuff just because it's plastic

As I’ve said several times, it’s crap stuff. Fake mobile phones. Endless pencils with rubbers that don’t work. Plastic stuff that snaps after two uses. Yet another purse with a cat wearing sunglasses when they already have several. Endless plastic microphones (surely two is enough). Why not save up and buy quality toys instead of rubbish?

OP posts:
Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:28

BertieBotts · 21/12/2025 22:25

No I'm not a bloke, despite the posting name.

Not saying you have to accommodate anything - I would probably keep throwing it out if DH did this too, which TBF he does a bit, just not as frequently as you describe. I just fundamentally disagree with the point you keep bringing up which is that you are "right" therefore he should listen to you and doesn't get a say in the matter. It would be weird and controlling if it was the other way around. The reasonable approach is to talk about it and/or find a compromise though which TBF I did suggest in my first post.

I might be taking the whole thing a bit too literally though and maybe you are joking in which case I apologise (sometimes I find jokes hard to read online).

I wasn’t actually referring to you - it was another poster, lol. I’m very happy to listen to DH on a lot of things, and in many ways he’s a great dad. But I think he’s wrong on this. What argument could there possibly be for buying a constant stream of rubbish that the kids barely play with?

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 21/12/2025 22:29

Ah well I was the one who used the word impose but maybe someone else did too Grin

Vodka1 · 21/12/2025 22:29

fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:26

As I’ve said several times, it’s crap stuff. Fake mobile phones. Endless pencils with rubbers that don’t work. Plastic stuff that snaps after two uses. Yet another purse with a cat wearing sunglasses when they already have several. Endless plastic microphones (surely two is enough). Why not save up and buy quality toys instead of rubbish?

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Honestly it all sounds like really cheap and tiny stuff that could easily be chucked into a basket.

Whilst I do understand (I live in teeny tiny house with 3 kids) the space issue, I think binning it is wasteful and only encouraging him to buy more.

They are not small for long you know, it's just not worth the battle IMO - let him buy things for his kids, in a couple more years they will be over toys anyway.

Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:30

Vodka1 · 21/12/2025 22:29

Honestly it all sounds like really cheap and tiny stuff that could easily be chucked into a basket.

Whilst I do understand (I live in teeny tiny house with 3 kids) the space issue, I think binning it is wasteful and only encouraging him to buy more.

They are not small for long you know, it's just not worth the battle IMO - let him buy things for his kids, in a couple more years they will be over toys anyway.

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It’s 7 quid a pop for a comic, which we can’t afford. So no, not cheap stuff. And even if I did chuck it all in a basket, he’d just keep buying and buying more!

OP posts:
Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:31

He doesn’t even notice that I bin it. He just takes the kids to the shop and gets them the latest toys and/or comics on a very regular basis.

OP posts:
Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:33

I freely admit I am wrong on many things but not on this. It’s just wasteful.

OP posts:
Endofyear · 21/12/2025 22:34

Well you can't actually force him to stop. You can try to have an adult conversation with him about plastic and the planet and waste and teaching your children about sustainability, and try and reach some sort of agreement or compromise. Or you could be childish, save it all up in a bin bag and then dump the whole lot on his side of the bed?

ForZanyAquaViewer · 21/12/2025 22:35

fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:30

It’s 7 quid a pop for a comic, which we can’t afford. So no, not cheap stuff. And even if I did chuck it all in a basket, he’d just keep buying and buying more!

Edited
Show quote history

Have you had a conversation with him about this? An actual conversation, not ‘don’t do this because I’m right’? Asked him why he keeps doing it? Discussed how it distresses you and the fact that you simply can’t afford it?

If so, what’s his reasoning?

localbutterfly · 21/12/2025 22:37

fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 21:24

Well I think it does. My feelings should override his in this instance because I’m clearly right.

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I can't believe you're still going after this.

Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:38

ForZanyAquaViewer · 21/12/2025 22:35

Have you had a conversation with him about this? An actual conversation, not ‘don’t do this because I’m right’? Asked him why he keeps doing it? Discussed how it distresses you and the fact that you simply can’t afford it?

If so, what’s his reasoning?

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I haven’t got that deep into why he feels the need to do it. I have said I wish he wouldn’t do it because it’s terrible for the planet, a constant stream of waste and we can’t afford it. He agrees but then keeps buying! Perhaps I need to dig deeper into why he feels the psychological need to do this.

OP posts:
Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:39

localbutterfly · 21/12/2025 22:37

I can't believe you're still going after this.

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Going after what?

OP posts:
Justchilling07 · 21/12/2025 22:41

fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:26

As I’ve said several times, it’s crap stuff. Fake mobile phones. Endless pencils with rubbers that don’t work. Plastic stuff that snaps after two uses. Yet another purse with a cat wearing sunglasses when they already have several. Endless plastic microphones (surely two is enough). Why not save up and buy quality toys instead of rubbish?

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Aw op, l don’t understand anyone who doesn’t understand where you’re coming from.
What you’re saying is, wouldn’t it be better to save up for quality toys🤷‍♀️Sounds perfectly reasonable

ComedyGuns · 21/12/2025 22:43

I have a female friend who did this when her DCs were young. I couldn’t get my head around it, as she’d recently divorced and money was tight.

Strangely, as soon as her finances improved she seemed to stop doing it.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 21/12/2025 22:46

fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:38

I haven’t got that deep into why he feels the need to do it. I have said I wish he wouldn’t do it because it’s terrible for the planet, a constant stream of waste and we can’t afford it. He agrees but then keeps buying! Perhaps I need to dig deeper into why he feels the psychological need to do this.

Edited
Show quote history

Perhaps I need to dig deeper into why he feels the psychological need to do this.

Or just have a proper conversation with your husband about something that upsets you? It clearly massively bothers you. It’s a financial burden. You’re chucking toys out on a weekly basis. But you haven’t sat down and asked him ‘why?’

BlondeBonBon · 21/12/2025 22:51

This would definitely do my head in too. I’d have to leave it in his wardrobe as soon as the kids ignored it