For fuck’s sake - I cannot take this anymore

[fedupwiththisshit2]

I live in a small house with DH and two DC. The constant stream of crap into our house completely overwhelms me. DH insists on buying absolutely rubbish toys and comics constantly for the kids that we can’t afford, along with the inevitable plastic tat (or yet another pack of small pencils, even though we have tons of pencils already). A week after they come into the house I chuck it all into the bin and the DC don’t even notice. It disgusts me that our house has basically become an intermediary stop for a load of plastic tat between shop and landfill. I’ve told DH not to do this but he doesn’t stop. I’ve had enough and am at my wits end. I want to have a few mindful toys that are good quality, not this constant stream of plastic crap. How can I force him to stop?

I’m still with you OP. I think PPs must be unaware of the shitness of these magazines + toys to think you could possibly donate them to charity. None of it lasts more than a day. It’s ridiculously overpriced. Go and look at the rubbish on offer at the local Tesco if you don’t understand what the OP is referring to.

Well yes, as I said in the very post you quoted, I have said to him I wish he wouldn’t do it because it’s terrible for the planet, a constant stream of waste and we can’t afford it. He has agreed but keeps going it 🤷‍♀️ Not sure what more of a “proper conversation” we can have, other than me digging deep into the psychology of why he does it - which I’ve already suggested.

I get you! While DH doesn't buy toy tat, he will come in with whole loads of stuff, especially gadgets, because he's a spender. I will have cleared the cupboards out and created space, which gets refilled with new stuff we just don't need. Same as shopping, weekly shop bought, comes in with bags of other stuff, no room in fridge, freezer or cupboards.

I do tell him but falls on deaf ears. Xxx

In principle, of course I agree with you. In practice, I bet being taken to the shop to buy a treat with their dad will be a treasured memory for your kids. Maybe he’s prioritising that.

You’ve said multiple times that you’ve told him to stop/stated it’s bothered you/told him about waste going to landfills, etc. What you haven’t done (or said you’ve done) is gone ‘Why do you keep doing this despite all this?’

That would be an actual conversation. It wouldn’t be ‘digging deep into psychology’, it would just be normal adult communication. I’m not sure how much clearer I can be, or why this wasn’t your first port of call.

Do you and your husband not have conversations? Do you not know how?

Op i don't disagree with you, it is plastic tat, and the accumulation of it is why I started to phase out buying the comics with it on after a couple of years.

However, my kids did read the comics, or we would sit and read them together. They did play woth the toys about the same.. and my exh was of the same opinion as you on endless crap that ended up in the toy draw never to be seen again.

My feelings on it were they enjoyed it, it made them happy to receive it, and for a few hours we got to do something together.

That to me was more important than the environment factor at the time.

Perhaps that is what your H is thinking.

I hear you! We got a subscription to the Phoenix comics. I can’t stand the crap plastic toys on kids comics. And the comics themselves are usually rubbish and hardly read.

the pheonix is great though It’s a quality subscription - comes weekly - has no adverts or toys. And it can easily be recycled or passed on when longer needed. It’s a real treat every week when it arrives and it is read cover to cover every time…

He's doing a nice thing. This is a you problem, him buying bits and pieces is part of being a parent as is having stuff around the house. He sounds like a lovely dad who is having some lovely bonding time with his kids. I'd rather they remembered that than their mother blowing a gasket about mess and their dad buying them wee mindings.

Or not as the case may be. I don't think you're right and neither does your husband 😂😂😂

You seem fixated on the “China, plastic tat” bit when surely the most important factor right now is, you can’t afford it. If he has continued on that path despite it being a problem financially then you haven’t actually had a proper conversation with him.

I’d be asking, if he wants to keep bringing it, what does he want to forego in return?

The Okido magazine is excellent. I completely agree the magazines with plastic tat are awful

Someone else might love it! Definitely don't bin it that's an appalling waste.

He’s doing what he wants to do, that isn’t being kind
Surely he knows by now, his partner, is unhappy about this, because they haven’t got room for it all and they can’t really afford frivolous rubbish also all this is just going in landfill! What an absolute waste!
@Rosealea when you’re in a relationship with children, it’s not just about what 1 person wants to do, it’s what’s best for the family, especially when it’s causing friction.

I remember buying those comics for my DC when they were young. Def not as a weekly treat though - they were expensive then so Lord knows how much they are now. I get the issue re the plastic shite / i would def speak to DC about it re the planet in an appropriate way. Are there comics that don’t have the crap attached to them?

Maybe keep sending DH science articles and videos about all the microplastics lodged in our water supplies, soil, wildlife and our own bodies & he might twig that the plastic tat toys are contributing to the problem ?

Comics are fine, without the crap plastic. He should subscribe to a comic for them if they read them, my 7 yo loves The Phoenix and it has the novelty of arriving in the post for them too.

I think we’re married to the same man.

I have exactly the same from my DH. He can’t seem to go to get milk without returning with something. In the last month we’ve had numerous inflatable santas, glasses with reindeer in them, Christmas novelty pens, those purses (what are they about) etc.

It can really take over and the worst thing for me is my ds in particular has become so careless and offhand with items - not just his but everybody’s - because of this easy come, easy go sort of approach.

It is so frustrating but I just wait until no one’s watching and bin it. They don’t notice.

They do have some great toys so I don’t know what it is with the crap.

Same here.

Did you see my suggestion? I understand that this type of stuff is literally going into landfull and not good for charity shops. And clutters the house, and the kids don't need it.

Where does he put the stuff when the cupboard is full? Making my husband do this has helped!

I think I see where the problem is

Put all the tat in a box in his personal space! And just keep adding it as it comes through the door. His office, pant drawer, wherever. He may then become sick of it too 🤞🏼

He has a gift of cramming things in 😆

Well you are the one chucking them away. I hope you dont really mean that and you give them to a charity shop instead.

I completely understand the pleasure he gets from buying little gifts for his kids.

Show your husband a compound interest calculator. If he stopped buying the tat, put the same value into a junior ISA for your kids each month, this is how much they would have at adulthood with very little effort.

🙈 I have also been know to adopt a one in one out policy 🤣