Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For fuck’s sake - I cannot take this anymore

131 replies

fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 21:13

I live in a small house with DH and two DC. The constant stream of crap into our house completely overwhelms me. DH insists on buying absolutely rubbish toys and comics constantly for the kids that we can’t afford, along with the inevitable plastic tat (or yet another pack of small pencils, even though we have tons of pencils already). A week after they come into the house I chuck it all into the bin and the DC don’t even notice. It disgusts me that our house has basically become an intermediary stop for a load of plastic tat between shop and landfill. I’ve told DH not to do this but he doesn’t stop. I’ve had enough and am at my wits end. I want to have a few mindful toys that are good quality, not this constant stream of plastic crap. How can I force him to stop?

OP posts:
sharkstale · 21/12/2025 21:55

Definitely with you on this one. I bought my dd far too much crap she asked for when she was younger, she now has a bedroom absolutely overloaded with stuff she never plays with but refuses to throw away. I have to throw things out every now and then without her realising. I wish I'd realised it sooner and never bought it all in the first place, now when she asks for anything like that I have to literally tell her what crap it is and how she'll play with it for a day before it's added to the piles of other stuff she never even looks at.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 21/12/2025 21:56

It's like a mumsnet drinking game this thread
take a shot every time the op uses the word "tat"
bonus shot if it's "plastic tat"
extra slurp for "climate emergency"
we'd all be wankered

Wasywasydoodah · 21/12/2025 21:56

OP I agree with you. Does he buy something every day? Can your DH think about what he’s teaching the kids by doing this? Success in life is more likely if kids learn delayed gratification and they’d benefit from him giving them the money, saving and buying a better thing after a few weeks. He could teach them this. Also, I’d be tempted to save all the magazines and crap for a week/month put it in a bin liner, tell him how much it all cost and dump it on his bed/favourite chair/ bike/whatever. Just to make the point. But I may be petty as sometimes i collect all my DH’s shoes from around the house and stack them on his desk…

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 21/12/2025 21:57

"It's horrendous for the planet" and "deliberately sending new plastic toys and colouring pencils directly to landfill" doesn't really compute for me.

Give them to charity shops. Yes you think the toys are poor quality and beneath you, and therefore beneath anyone, but you'll be surprised how much of it gets bought up in the lead up to Christmas. Some people have no choice but to shop at charity shops. I think a lot of posters on Mumsnet have no idea how poor some people are in this country. The best things consumers can do in terms for the environment is to re-use and buy second hand - charity shops and second hand sales help slow demand which ultimately reduces the burden on the planet.

BeMintFatball · 21/12/2025 21:58

@Hobnobswantshernameback 🤣🤣🤣 good idea I could do with a drink

Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 21:58

I think the answer is to drum it into my kids that buying a constant stream of “stuff” is bad for the planet. Maybe that’s the way to stop DH!

OP posts:
Fridgemanageress · 21/12/2025 21:59

You’re of the mindset your husband is wrong and you r right.

They are his children as well, and if buying stuff like that makes him happy and your children happy so be it

Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:01

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 21/12/2025 21:57

"It's horrendous for the planet" and "deliberately sending new plastic toys and colouring pencils directly to landfill" doesn't really compute for me.

Give them to charity shops. Yes you think the toys are poor quality and beneath you, and therefore beneath anyone, but you'll be surprised how much of it gets bought up in the lead up to Christmas. Some people have no choice but to shop at charity shops. I think a lot of posters on Mumsnet have no idea how poor some people are in this country. The best things consumers can do in terms for the environment is to re-use and buy second hand - charity shops and second hand sales help slow demand which ultimately reduces the burden on the planet.

Like I say, I donate decent quality stuff to charity shops. But the ones local to me are drowning in stuff and I don’t think it’s fair to offload free stuff you get with magazines onto them to sort and chuck out.

Edited to add: I think some people do do this because they can then feel virtuous - it hasn’t gone in the bin but to “charity”. The reality is the charity shops won’t sell it, it goes to landfill and the guilt just gets passed onto them.

OP posts:
AiryFairyLights · 21/12/2025 22:01

fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 21:49

I think you missed the point of the thread. I put things in the bin because they’re pointless plastic tat that is absolute junk and shouldn’t have even been made in the first place. Not because I’m angry with DH for buying them.

Show quote history

Hopefully you’re putting all that plastic in the recycling bin and it’s all getting recycled! 😉

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 21/12/2025 22:03

fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:01

Like I say, I donate decent quality stuff to charity shops. But the ones local to me are drowning in stuff and I don’t think it’s fair to offload free stuff you get with magazines onto them to sort and chuck out.

Edited to add: I think some people do do this because they can then feel virtuous - it hasn’t gone in the bin but to “charity”. The reality is the charity shops won’t sell it, it goes to landfill and the guilt just gets passed onto them.

Edited
Show quote history

In case it wasn't obvious, I used to volunteer at a charity shop. Give them a chance instead of making assumptions. We were literally there to sort through bags of stuff, it was part of the job. You're just making excuses.

Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:04

AiryFairyLights · 21/12/2025 22:01

Hopefully you’re putting all that plastic in the recycling bin and it’s all getting recycled! 😉

Show quote history

Sadly not as it’s not recyclable!

OP posts:
Justchilling07 · 21/12/2025 22:05

fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 21:38

I’m just sick of the endless stream of rubbish coming into our house, then exiting via the bin a week later. I feel like I’m a rubbish sorting facility. Plus it’s horrendous for the planet.

Agree, it is totally unnecessary tat and bad for the planet and stressing you out.
When you both have a bit of downtime, broach it again with him, this is becoming too much, there’s no room for it and it’s just constantly being thrown out.
You’re asking him to stop, it’s a waste of money, the children don’t even want it.
If he doesn’t listen and carry’s on doing this, then this may cause problems between you, if someone says, no, to something, in a good relationship the other person takes it on board, listens.

Gremlins101 · 21/12/2025 22:06

I agree with you OP. Dont know the answer but just keep trying to communicate with him about it.

I found that my husbands view came around to be more like mine as time went on, the house filled up with stuff, and the kids weren't giving any care of attention to their toys.

In your case id throw nothing away but I would leave it all on his side of the bed. One day he wont be able to ignore it any longer when he has to deal with it himself.

Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:06

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 21/12/2025 22:03

In case it wasn't obvious, I used to volunteer at a charity shop. Give them a chance instead of making assumptions. We were literally there to sort through bags of stuff, it was part of the job. You're just making excuses.

Show quote history

So you’re saying I should dump a load of bags of this stuff at my local charity shop that already says they are inundated?

OP posts:
butterpuffed · 21/12/2025 22:07

tiredofchristmas · 21/12/2025 21:45

Exactly. Why the hell would a charity shop want this shite? And my goodness the embarrassment of passing it on to a charity shop and admitting that you think it was ever a good idea to buy such nonsense. It’s like donating Shein to a charity shop. Just don’t!!!

Wow ! I'm surprised someone of your calibre even knows the word 'Shein' 😆

ChillingWithMySnowmies · 21/12/2025 22:07

PauliesWalnuts · 21/12/2025 21:40

She’s literally just answered your question!

Show quote history

I don't consider "because i said so" or words to that effect to be an answer to the question of why one parents opinion should override the others.

It's the kind of answer a parent gives a child when they question the reasoning behind some arbitrary rule.

Not one person i've ever asked has ever given me an answer to this question, and this poster also failed.

"Because i'm right and they're wrong" is not an answer. It's an opinion wrapped up as an Edict.

Happyjoe · 21/12/2025 22:09

Not only is it too much, it doesn't do them much good. Can he not just give them pocket money on a Sat, rather than an endless stream of gifts? Then if they wish to buy a little bit of plastic tat, that's up to them.

Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:09

Gremlins101 · 21/12/2025 22:06

I agree with you OP. Dont know the answer but just keep trying to communicate with him about it.

I found that my husbands view came around to be more like mine as time went on, the house filled up with stuff, and the kids weren't giving any care of attention to their toys.

In your case id throw nothing away but I would leave it all on his side of the bed. One day he wont be able to ignore it any longer when he has to deal with it himself.

If I’d started a pile of this stuff when he first started buying it would be huge by now! It would certainly be an eye opener 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:11

ChillingWithMySnowmies · 21/12/2025 22:07

I don't consider "because i said so" or words to that effect to be an answer to the question of why one parents opinion should override the others.

It's the kind of answer a parent gives a child when they question the reasoning behind some arbitrary rule.

Not one person i've ever asked has ever given me an answer to this question, and this poster also failed.

"Because i'm right and they're wrong" is not an answer. It's an opinion wrapped up as an Edict.

Show quote history

I responded again to your post upthread. You clearly aren’t fussed about the climate crisis if you think buying a constant stream of tat is ok. I am!

OP posts:
Marble10 · 21/12/2025 22:11

I have this but my child constantly hassles for ANYTHING anytime we leave the house. They know I will not buy it, but other family members fall victim to it 😖 they just want stuff for the sake of having something!
Could yours be similar and your husband just gives in like that?

Justchilling07 · 21/12/2025 22:11

Fridgemanageress · 21/12/2025 21:59

You’re of the mindset your husband is wrong and you r right.

They are his children as well, and if buying stuff like that makes him happy and your children happy so be it

The children aren’t really bothered, not interested.
Op has said they haven’t got the room for all this junk and that is what it is, to be fair to op.Op’s husband is just doing what he wants to do, disregarding, his wife’s views, they can’t really afford it all and the children are not asking for it, so what’s the point!

Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:11

Hobnobswantshernameback · 21/12/2025 21:56

It's like a mumsnet drinking game this thread
take a shot every time the op uses the word "tat"
bonus shot if it's "plastic tat"
extra slurp for "climate emergency"
we'd all be wankered

😂

OP posts:
Original poster
fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:12

Marble10 · 21/12/2025 22:11

I have this but my child constantly hassles for ANYTHING anytime we leave the house. They know I will not buy it, but other family members fall victim to it 😖 they just want stuff for the sake of having something!
Could yours be similar and your husband just gives in like that?

Possibly. But it’s chicken or the egg I guess! I think DH started this habit and now they expect it.

OP posts:
Happyjoe · 21/12/2025 22:12

fedupwiththisshit2 · 21/12/2025 22:09

If I’d started a pile of this stuff when he first started buying it would be huge by now! It would certainly be an eye opener 😂

Show quote history

I actually did this with the junk/rubbish my partner (used) to leave behind. Everything was left at his arse. So I collected it over 2 weeks, then put it all on his side of the bed. He couldn't get into bed but message understood.

RomeoRivers · 21/12/2025 22:16

I totally get it; my DD asked for a plastic ‘Minnie Mouse phone, like her friend’ and I told her: unfortunately Father Christmas knows mummy doesn’t like plastic… 😂

Little Dutch is your friend. Tell your DH that comics are now banned, but he can get the kids to choose something from Little Dutch every week, plus one activity (softplay, farm, swimming, park etc).

While weekly presents aren’t ideal, at least it’s better than the plastic shit you’re currently dealing with, and over time you should build up a nice little collection that will keep them occupied.