Scratchcard Win

[MissLead]

So yesterday we had our annual pre-Xmas family meal (my brother, sister partners and kids).

every year we have done this I’ve bought everyone a scratchcard as a bit of fun.

BIL won £50k on his card yesterday and is not going to share it!

I think he should!!!!

A gift is a gift; there was nothing ever said about a big win, which is possible. you (the OP) basically played a lottery by not having this conversation and lost.

The brother, for all we know, is broke, has loads of debt, and this 50k is a life changer. He's under no obligation to share it, you can argue about morals till the cows come home, but not knowing his financial background.

OP - I know it's a bit of fun, but surely you must have known this was a possibility, yes, a slim one, but bloody hell. My only advice is be happy for him.

Sorry but you gifted him the scratch card so any winnings are his. Yes it'd be nice if he shared but it's his to do as he pleases. If you'd gifted him a sweater would you expect to wear it as & when you wanted? same in principle really, his gift, his winnings.

How many people are involved in this? How many tickets did you buy?

I think sharing could end up being more complicated and potentially acrimonious. Do you share by family unit, by people, adults and children, at what age do children get a share, does uncle Fred who's rolling in it get a share too?
Nah, winner takes it all and if they want to quietly bung someone else a few quid then that's up to them.
In my view, obviously 😊

Whilst it would theoretically be very easy for somebody to make up such a tale, how well do you know OP to be certain that she's lying?

You do realise that, occasionally, people do win big on scratchcards, don't you? If nobody could ever possibly win the stated jackpot amount, the company that sells them will be in an immense amount of trouble for committing fraud.

Giving scratchcards as a little token present at Christmas is a common thing to do. How many thousands of MNers have done the exact same thing, seen nobody win more than a tenner, and thus not been remotely minded to start a pointless thread about that?

I’d have given everyone at the table £1,000 and kept the rest. He still deserves the ‘big win’ but this way everyone’s got a nice little ‘win’ themselves too. However with no rules in place, he can do what he wants with it 🤷🏻‍♀️ We do scratch cards and our rules are anything over £1,000 has to be shared.

Indeed; but every card bought has the same statistical chance of being a big winner as any other - and the card doesn't know whether the person who owns it has paid for it themselves, been given it as a gift or even found it having been dropped in the street.

Just like the majority of people have kind enough, non-evil MILs (mine is truly lovely) and thus don't ever think to start a MN thread about them, the hundreds of thousands of people who buy scratchcards or lottery tickets that win nothing/very tiny amounts don't tend to mention it, and they certainly don't make the headlines!

Then some people would be complaining about how nasty and selfish they thought you were for 'only' giving them a thousand rather than sharing it all out equally - or even not giving most of it to the person who bought it and gave it to you (assuming that they'd most probably given you a useless scrap of paper worth nothing).

Honestly, there's nothing wrong at all with giving people scratchcards for a little gift (well, unless - like OP said - you provide them with an introduction to what becomes a gambling addiction)... but in the absence of an agreed 'we each scratch one but all winnings are split equally' advance rule, they really should be kept until you're on your own before being scratched - unless you personally are firmly committed to equally sharing any win, however big, with everybody present.

Even then, if you win a fortune, what about the family members who weren't at the gathering? Surely it's not fair for them to miss out on a share too - especially if they couldn't make it because they were ill or had to be at work? And then everybody's close friends and neighbours... and the little local causes that are so dear to their hearts that desperately need funds?

Taken ad absurdum, you defeat the whole object of what a lottery actually is. If everybody who takes part benefits equally - instead of most getting nothing and a few winning loads - it's a pointless exercise. You may as well just pay £2 for a ticket/card, not be given a ticket/card at all, and just be instantly given your money back and told you've 'won' £2!

If he doesn’t share anything at all, even a little token for the person who bought the card, he will feel it in his family relations for the rest of his life.

So were you actually just putting the scratchcards into each individual person's cracker as a self-validation exercise - for them to scratch off on your behalf and to tell you how thoroughly you deserved any winnings yourself for all of your hard work in hosting?

I'd understand your thinking much more if they won a fortune; but £8 is literally the price of a half-decent box of chocolates. It's like giving them a box of Lily O'Brien's per couple and then feeling insulted because they didn't hand it straight back to you and tell you that you deserved them more.

Going by the tone of the post and the OPs replies, I'm definitely imagining there was some kick off when he revealed his win and that's probably the reason why he isn't sharing!
BIL - "Oh my God, I've won 50k!!!"
OP - That's not fair, I bought those cards, I'm entitled to a share"!!!
Most she'd have got from me in that instance would be the price of the scratch card back!

Oh I accept I was unreasonable which is why I’ve never done it again! It just felt off to me at the time that they took such a small amount to cash in. I don’t know if I would have felt better if they had won £50 as at least that would have been worth it.

Not mad, just felt a bit off that they took them to cash in such a small amount. if it had been me (and it was me last year) I left for the hosts or I would have said to buy grandkids something.

I know it’s unreasonable and showed me I would not be happy if they won big and didn’t share - which my mil wouldn’t do ie wouldn’t share. She is pretty lucky on the whole, always wins at the bingo, lottery, raffles, premium bonds etc.

Ah, I see your point a bit more now - about the logistics of them physically taking the cards with them to claim, rather than the principle of actually getting the winnings.

Did you actually see the winning card, OP? If quick-thinking BIL had had the presence of mind, he could have screamed "Wow, I've won £50 thousand!!!" as he discreetly slipped it in his pocket.

After a bit of deliberate protesting-too-much for realistic effect, he finally agrees to split the £50K equally and is the best, most wonderful family member forever and ever.

Then he pops off alone a couple of days later to claim the £1million that he actually won on the card, laughing all the way

Did you ask for opinions or validation?

Your responses are infantile.

You’re just painting yourself worse and worse.

SUCK IT UP!!!!!

You can’t share out a sweater

But if you give random sweaters round the table and one person gets one someone else wants you might swap.
If you give a sweater as a named intentional gift that would be different.

I’ve called a liar and insulted multiple times.

I’d say that’s nasty.

To be fair, I think most of us would be quite keen to swap somebody else's £50K-winning scratchcard for ours that's won a fiver or nothing!

I only have two of a family and if someone bought me a scratch card and I won 50k I would definitely share it.

If you give your guests crackers to pull would you demand they give you the novelty toy or else silk.

Er yes? Isn’t swapping cracker gifts part of the fun ( even if they end up in the bin Boxing Day).

Merry Christmas ‘carer’