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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Scratchcard Win

330 replies

MissLead · 21/12/2025 15:19

So yesterday we had our annual pre-Xmas family meal (my brother, sister partners and kids).

every year we have done this I’ve bought everyone a scratchcard as a bit of fun.

BIL won £50k on his card yesterday and is not going to share it!

I think he should!!!!

OP posts:
TheChicDreamer · 21/12/2025 16:05

We do scratch cards sometimes as a bit of fun at Christmas. Of course it’s his. What a wonderful thing for him.

If it were me though, I would probably give 5k to the host that bought them as a gesture of goodwill.

Whinge · 21/12/2025 16:06

BIL should keep the money.

Sharing will just lead to more arguments, as OP will no doubt feel entitled to the biggest share as she bought the ticket 🙄

Motomum23 · 21/12/2025 16:08

We do scratchcards in Xmas crackers but have an agreement that the winner only gets to keep the first £20 - everything else is shared (but this is married couple and 4 kids so probably needs a bigger lee-way for extended family) either way if I were your BIL I'd probably feel embarrassed not sharing or at least offering to take the extended fam on holiday etc

Parsleyforme · 21/12/2025 16:08

It’s his win but if I was him I’d bung you at least £100 as he wouldn’t have won if you hadn’t bought the scratch card. But I probably wouldn’t share it around everyone unless it was something like £50 each as a consolation prize

HamAndMustardAndCranberrySauce · 21/12/2025 16:10

I put them in our crackers, but I do feel quite anxious about what happens if someone wins! It's DP, me, and our 4 DC (2 each). We don't live together but we do spend Christmas together. Only one of the DC is old enough to cash it in if they win.

I do think it would be really hard to watch someone get a big win and then keep it all when I've done all the Christmas prep (including cracker assembly) and cooking. So far, we've only ever won a few quid back at most and then put it towards ice-cream at our annual post-Christmas theatre trip.

Interested to hear everyone else's rules. Maybe I can implement before this year!

Boomer55 · 21/12/2025 16:11

It’s his. Good luck to him. 🎉🎉🎉🍾

VanillaIceIceBaby · 21/12/2025 16:12

I don’t see the point of it if the winner doesn’t get to keep the money. Surely that’s what gamblers is all about. Someone might win but not everyone and not every time.

You might as well just buy ten scratch cards and do them all if the winner doesn’t get to keep their winnings.

Whinge · 21/12/2025 16:15

Interested to hear everyone else's rules. Maybe I can implement before this year!

You don't need rules. You just need to accept that this might happen if you gift something where the recipient has a chance of winning. It's nice if they choose to share, but you're not entitled to any of the winnings. 🤷‍♀️

Owlmoonstar · 21/12/2025 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WellMaybeYouShouldntBeLivingHeeeeeeee · 21/12/2025 16:20

HamAndMustardAndCranberrySauce · 21/12/2025 16:10

I put them in our crackers, but I do feel quite anxious about what happens if someone wins! It's DP, me, and our 4 DC (2 each). We don't live together but we do spend Christmas together. Only one of the DC is old enough to cash it in if they win.

I do think it would be really hard to watch someone get a big win and then keep it all when I've done all the Christmas prep (including cracker assembly) and cooking. So far, we've only ever won a few quid back at most and then put it towards ice-cream at our annual post-Christmas theatre trip.

Interested to hear everyone else's rules. Maybe I can implement before this year!

It makes zero sense to keep doing this if you feel this way about it though? Like, why actually do it if it’s not a genuine gift?

‘I always give people scratchcards but I’m really anxious they might win because that would be so hard for me’ Confused

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 21/12/2025 16:22

By buying somebody a scratchcard, you're very likely just giving them a worthless bit of paper. The only thing that stops it from being a boring, worthless bit of paper is the possibility that it might be worth something - and the excitement is in the fact that it could potentially be worth a hefty chunk of money.

They could resolve this by selling a special low-level scratchcard, with a maximum £20/£50/£100 prize - designed specifically for people who get jealous of other people's good fortune - but I don't think many people would buy them. Yes, of course £50 would always be a nice, welcome little surprise; but the thrill of scratchcards is that they could massively transform your life for the better in a few seconds - which an amount that's enough for a decent takeaway isn't really going to do.

JimnJoyce · 21/12/2025 16:25

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 21/12/2025 16:22

By buying somebody a scratchcard, you're very likely just giving them a worthless bit of paper. The only thing that stops it from being a boring, worthless bit of paper is the possibility that it might be worth something - and the excitement is in the fact that it could potentially be worth a hefty chunk of money.

They could resolve this by selling a special low-level scratchcard, with a maximum £20/£50/£100 prize - designed specifically for people who get jealous of other people's good fortune - but I don't think many people would buy them. Yes, of course £50 would always be a nice, welcome little surprise; but the thrill of scratchcards is that they could massively transform your life for the better in a few seconds - which an amount that's enough for a decent takeaway isn't really going to do.

I think you need to reread the Op

CandyCaneKisses · 21/12/2025 16:25

You aren’t entitled to a penny! Gifts that come with expectations from the giver are a joke.

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 21/12/2025 16:26

Surely the easiest way to resolve this is to clearly form an impromptu 'syndicate' as such. If you have a group of 8 of you, you buy 8 scratchcards for the group. Each person gets to play one 'for the group', BUT it's made very clear in advance that all and any winnings are split equally 8 ways.

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 21/12/2025 16:27

JimnJoyce · 21/12/2025 16:25

I think you need to reread the Op

Show quote history

Why, what have I missed?

SleafordSods · 21/12/2025 16:28
Biscuit
HamAndMustardAndCranberrySauce · 21/12/2025 16:29

Whinge · 21/12/2025 16:15

Interested to hear everyone else's rules. Maybe I can implement before this year!

You don't need rules. You just need to accept that this might happen if you gift something where the recipient has a chance of winning. It's nice if they choose to share, but you're not entitled to any of the winnings. 🤷‍♀️

I think within immediate family, it would be quite hard for one teenager to see another win £50k and keep it (for example) when a scratched has come out of a Christmas cracker. I think that's a bit different to one person getting one in a birthday card. If we had a big win, I'd hope the winner would share. That would pay for a year at uni for each young person, for example.

I can see why other people have a different view. And I do get the argument about gifting the card meaning you have to accept that someone could win. So I suppose I should drop the scratch cards in crackers tradition if I'm not happy with that possibility.

However, if I won that amount on Christmas Day, I'd share it within our blended/extended family so everyone could benefit. I only buy scratch cards at Christmas so to me it's a bit of a Christmas "let's see if we collectively win anything".

I think there's also a difference between it being, say, just parents & children in that scenario compared to wider family and friends.

SleafordSods · 21/12/2025 16:29

Wow. It’s hostile on here. Are you new to the AIBU section?

Alpacajigsaw · 21/12/2025 16:32

Ohh I dunno. I’d like to think I’d share but £50k would make such a difference to my kids lives. Money for a car/house deposit. I suppose they were given to each individual otherwise they’d have been “communal” scratch cards but I’d also feel a bit miffed if I got nowt 😂

Purlant · 21/12/2025 16:33

What’s the point of this? Do you expect them to share their Christmas presents too? Otherwise either don’t buy them or scratch all of them off yourself and share the total (doesn’t sound like fun though!!).

Elmspringwater · 21/12/2025 16:34

Its his money.
You gave it to him as a gift therefor its no longer yours, he scrached won and it ALL BELONGS TO HIM.
I hope he enjoys it ,spend it and do all the things it will help him do.

Whats not to understand hope that help.

Edited to add if i won big it would be mine and everyone else can fuck the fuck off.

brightbevs · 21/12/2025 16:35

It’s his, however, throwing you a grand would be the polite thing to do I reckon!

VanillaIceIceBaby · 21/12/2025 16:36

I think within immediate family, it would be quite hard for one teenager to see another win £50k and keep it (for example) when a scratched has come out of a Christmas cracker.

That’s what gambling is though. The chance of someone winning.* *

ThreeRandomWordz · 21/12/2025 16:36

It was a gift and it's his to keep.

It's easy to be generous with money that isn't your own.

blubberyboo · 21/12/2025 16:38

MissLead · 21/12/2025 15:26

Yeah we should have done this in retrospect 😡

Show quote history

Too late for retrospect

You cant give a gift and expect him to share it
Thats really mean of you to make people scratch for a win and excitement only to snatch the win from under their nose

You should have just scratched them all yourself in a corner