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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Scratchcard Win

330 replies

MissLead · 21/12/2025 15:19

So yesterday we had our annual pre-Xmas family meal (my brother, sister partners and kids).

every year we have done this I’ve bought everyone a scratchcard as a bit of fun.

BIL won £50k on his card yesterday and is not going to share it!

I think he should!!!!

OP posts:
JacknDiane · 22/12/2025 22:24

Lucky sod

ByKindOpalPoet · 22/12/2025 22:27

YourMintTraybake · 22/12/2025 22:11

How am I saying he can't help his wife and kids out by keeping 40k??

You said “I don’t understand how someone couldn’t help family out if they could financially”

10k could make a difference between paying a mortgage off, clearing debts or staying in debt because of entitled relatives

so yes by saying oh he’s should only keep 40k and must share the rest you are implying he shouldn’t help his wife and kids out and instead must pander to entitled jealous relatives

HugglesAndSnuggles · 22/12/2025 22:41

This is the exact reason why I’d never buy anyone a scratch card.

I enjoyed reading your fairytale though OP.

Firefly1987 · 22/12/2025 22:50

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 22/12/2025 09:43

But why woukd you buy a card with a potential top prize of, say, £250k and then just assume that there's no chance of it winning more than £100? If these cards did have a maximum prize of £100, only desperately poor people (who probably shouldn't do in the first place) would buy them.

It's a bit like insurance in reverse (excluding car insurance as you have no choice in that): something bad is extremely unlikely to happen to you or your home, but you know that it still potentially could - hence you choose to pay your premium to be protected just in case it does happen.

When you hear of massive winners in the lottery/scratchcards, they're always just some ordinary man or woman who cannot believe their luck. Somebody is going to win, so if you're just an ordinary man or woman, why couldn't that be you?

But winning that amount has gotta be one in a million. Bit odd it only seems to be happening to those who have had scratch cards gifted to them. They must be v lucky people!

morden123 · 22/12/2025 23:18

I think he's disgusting, sorry. The OP has done a nice thing she didn't need to do for all the family and to have a happy Christmas and a bit of fun. If I'd won anything from the goodness of the host I would definitely be sharing with all at the table.

YourMintTraybake · 22/12/2025 23:34

ByKindOpalPoet · 22/12/2025 22:27

You said “I don’t understand how someone couldn’t help family out if they could financially”

10k could make a difference between paying a mortgage off, clearing debts or staying in debt because of entitled relatives

so yes by saying oh he’s should only keep 40k and must share the rest you are implying he shouldn’t help his wife and kids out and instead must pander to entitled jealous relatives

Edited

Right I get what you are saying, the difference between being mortgage free etc

I think that's the difference, like I would want to give something ( even just a small amount) compared to the relatives who would expect it

YourAquaLion · 22/12/2025 23:40

I would defo share as how gutted would the buyer be! It’s ethically the right thing to do. But agree that things like this should be agreed beforehand as not everyone feels the same, it is a gift after all. Maybe next time scratch them all off to check, keep the highest one then stick some foil over them so everyone can enjoy pretending to scratch them off after! 🤣

NewYearSameMe16 · 23/12/2025 00:05

He obviously has no obligation to share but he wouldn’t have the £50k if it wasn’t for the OP and he should consider how he’d genuinely feel if it was the other way round.

Expecting an equal share is unrealistic but depending on what he can afford to give, he could offer a couple of thousand to the other two families for a holiday or at least celebrate with the others and thank the OP with a nice family meal or day out.

neighboursmustliveon · 23/12/2025 01:20

We did this once. My in laws (and now just my MIL) came for Christmas dinner every year. We funded everything, they would bring two bottles of wine. One year we put scratch cards in all our crackers. They won £8 between them. I was aggrieved that that kept the winnings knowing we had paid for e everything and it showed me how I would have felt if they won more and kept it so I’ve never done it again.

At new year my brother and SIL do the same for us, last year I won £4 and left the card for them even though I we help pay towards food and drink. We do have an agreement to share winnings though.

XenoBitch · 23/12/2025 01:21

neighboursmustliveon · 23/12/2025 01:20

We did this once. My in laws (and now just my MIL) came for Christmas dinner every year. We funded everything, they would bring two bottles of wine. One year we put scratch cards in all our crackers. They won £8 between them. I was aggrieved that that kept the winnings knowing we had paid for e everything and it showed me how I would have felt if they won more and kept it so I’ve never done it again.

At new year my brother and SIL do the same for us, last year I won £4 and left the card for them even though I we help pay towards food and drink. We do have an agreement to share winnings though.

You got mad about £8?

25flyby · 23/12/2025 04:54

XenoBitch · 23/12/2025 01:21

You got mad about £8?

No. She got upset by the mindset.

MissLead · 23/12/2025 06:50

OnTheBoardwalk · 22/12/2025 21:07

But he might be helping out his wife, his kids and himself, we don’t know what their circumstances are

@MissLead has he said he’s helping out nobody at all? Has he said he won’t be giving you even a fiver?

He’s said he’s won it fair and square and doesn’t think he has any obligation to share any of it.

What I’ve learnt is this;

  1. Agree on any share scheme prior to scratching
  2. There are lots of selfish nasty individuals on this app that make my BIL look like Bill Gates
OP posts:
Moonnstarz · 23/12/2025 06:58

MissLead · 23/12/2025 06:50

He’s said he’s won it fair and square and doesn’t think he has any obligation to share any of it.

What I’ve learnt is this;

  1. Agree on any share scheme prior to scratching
  2. There are lots of selfish nasty individuals on this app that make my BIL look like Bill Gates

How old are the kids? I presume when he says not sharing he just means your family. I imagine that money will significantly help his immediate family (you mention meeting up with them and kids). Why not just be pleased for him.

You also haven't mentioned what share you would have expected. If he gave you £500 I imagine you would have been posting that it wasn't fair he didn't split equally. It takes the fin out of it surely if you plan too much how a big win is split. E.g. if it's adult children do they count individually. Do you just split into two families?

MoonWoman69 · 23/12/2025 06:59

Absolutely nothing to do with being selfish, but all to do with the fact the card was essentially a gift, you didn't have a plan in place in case anyone won big and you didn't win! So he's selfish in wanting to keep his winnings?! Yet you're the selfish one in thinking he should share them out!
At this point I personally think BIL should have won double that, got up and gone straight home. Hope he has a great Christmas!

VanillaIceIceBaby · 23/12/2025 07:02

MissLead · 23/12/2025 06:50

He’s said he’s won it fair and square and doesn’t think he has any obligation to share any of it.

What I’ve learnt is this;

  1. Agree on any share scheme prior to scratching
  2. There are lots of selfish nasty individuals on this app that make my BIL look like Bill Gates
  1. don’t gamble if you don’t want to take a chance that some people may win and other people may not.
MoonWoman69 · 23/12/2025 07:03

Yes @Moonnstarz no answers to either question she's been asked!

  1. How much would she expect to be given from his gift?
  2. What does her sister have to say about it all?
It was probably the immediate peeved reaction and strop throwing from OP, when he revealed his winnings, that's put him off sharing! It would me!
ItsTooEarlyForThis · 23/12/2025 07:09

DecemberGoneWild · 21/12/2025 15:20

Should have had rules. Ours is that anything under £99 the individual keeps
Anything over £100 is shared equally

Personally, I'd share because it's not worth the bad feeling bit if he isn't going to then I'm not sure you can do anything but accept it

We do this too.
You can’t demand a share of a gift unless it’s something agreed in advance.

Pricelessadvice · 23/12/2025 07:12

I’d probably give everyone in the group £1k each because I’d feel a bit awkward not to share something.
My family wouldn’t expect it to be shared though.

springintoaction2 · 23/12/2025 07:17

DollopOfFun · 21/12/2025 15:19

Aye right.

😂😂😂

That's what I thought - never ever have I heard of anyone winning big on a scratchcard! I guess it does happen though... maybe the OP works for the Lottery people and started this thread to up sales? Grin

springintoaction2 · 23/12/2025 07:19

@MissLead How many people would he be sharing with?

hairbearbunches · 23/12/2025 07:29

Oh, ffs. There are right some greedy arseholes out there, there really are. There is no way on earth that, having been given the gift of a scratch card that came up trumps with £50k, I wouldn't split it 50:50 with the person who'd bought it. It's a matter of principles. People can try and justify it which ever way they like, but there's only two camps here. Principled people, and the rest.

OP, you've found out which camp your BIL is in. When people show they who they are, believe them.

ThatAgileRosePanda · 23/12/2025 07:43

It’s his. It would be nice of him to offer a bit of it to all the adults taking part or to donate to a charity of their choice, but he doesn’t have to. Maybe you all should have had rules in place for a big win.

LadyKedleston · 23/12/2025 07:58

MissLead · 23/12/2025 06:50

He’s said he’s won it fair and square and doesn’t think he has any obligation to share any of it.

What I’ve learnt is this;

  1. Agree on any share scheme prior to scratching
  2. There are lots of selfish nasty individuals on this app that make my BIL look like Bill Gates

So anyone who doesn't agree with you is automatically selfish and nasty?

Grow up.

MarmaladeSandwich7 · 23/12/2025 09:27

Lucky bugger! I think I would give some to family but not sure how much.

Elopeme · 23/12/2025 09:31

My thoughts are - if I won a decent amount, I’d gift some money to the person who gave it to me - the purchaser/gifter or the newsagent if I bought it myself.

If it is tradition, and you’ve always bought the scratchies for everyone else, he should be sharing with you as a minimum, but yes I think sharing equally would be a nice gesture.