To be sick and tired of being asked where I am from

[Playdoughy]

Just that really.
I am not from the UK, I've lived here a good portion of my life, my child was born here, my husband is also not from the UK (different country than me), and every single time everywhere - restaurants, get-togethers, parties we are invited to, standing in a queue, riding a bus, paying for a book in a bookshop - I really do mean everywhere and every single time - we both get asked where are we from - nicely and in a friendly manner ofcourse.

Now, to be clear - I am proud of where I am from, I don't mind talking about my country, a lot of beautiful things to say. I also don't expect people to assume I am from around here - I am aware of my accent 😁 so it's not like I am 'offended' that I am recognised as a foreigner...
I am just simply tired of the one and the same conversation every single time, day after day, all these years. If after my response I get - 'ah interesting I was wondering about accent' - fine, topic finished. But 90 percent of the time this goes into full conversation - Oh interesting, so what about xyz, how is xyz, do you xyz, how do you xyz.

When people engage into these conversations - does it really never cross their mind that this poor person you are about to interrogate about their roots probably gets that same question all the time and maybe just maybe is tired of it.
How about a good old weather themed conversation? Or asking about where I bought my bag, or recommend a movie, or simply rant about the ridiculous prices... anything but - 'so where are you from?'
And yes I know that the default answer to my post may be - 'If you don't mind me asking but - where are you from?' It is not even funny anymore.

Also is there anything I could potentially do to communicate that these questions are not exactly welcomed, without being rude or sounding like I am trying to hide something or being a weirdo.

Get over it. You say yourself it’s friendly.

Just be grateful that this is all you have to worry about and that people are friendly to you. It’s an ideal opportunity to strike up conversations and get to know people.

That's rubbish I'm afraid. Of course it's polite, it's just small talk between strangers, it's a perfectly natural thing to talk about.
Perhaps you need to get in first and show some polite interest in the other person and steer the conversation the way you'd like it?

Humans are tribal. If you have a different accent or a different look, people will be curious. It's how we are.

Good grief. You choose what you get offended by, it's up to you to be happy. You can't police what other people say, they're not mind readers.

Im from north West England and years ago when I working down south, an East end girl asked me where I was from. I told her and she was shocked, she didnt think I was English, she i was German or Dutch 😅😅 we laughed so much about it and and nearly 50 years later we are still friends

I live in Cumbria , lived here 17 years and it's home . I was born in the UK to UK parents but we moved and settled here .
However my accent is not Cumbrian and I am asked at least weekly if I am on holiday to which I reply that I live here .
It can get a bit tedious but just I see it as one of those things that people say and just harmless curiosity .

I'm Australian but lived here 25 years. I am tired of it too. Just the same question several times a week.

However, more often than I would like some people in the UK seem to think it's hilarious to then mimic my accent or say something along the lines 'Thought you were an Aussie, mate'. Or say something 'Australian' like Gday. Yeah fucking hilarious. Go away now please.

I'm astonished that this happens to you in London. It's an incredible mix if ethnicities and languages.
You just need to look around you. Seriously, you're not different, so your experience is puzzling.

I think you're being precious but just he rude to them then I guess.

I prefer to surround myself with humans who have progressed beyond primitive tribalism and who are polite enough not to voice every basic curiosity they have. So the question is a decent red flag, I suppose.

My cousin lives in Australia and the same thing happens to her in reverse.Her nose is rubbed in the fact that she is a "pom," quite regularly

I get it. I don’t live in the country I’m from and get asked this question all the time. Some people mean to be kind, but some people are unpleasantly curious or already have an opinion of my country. (Not always a positive one, despite their country not exactly being ‘best country on earth’ either!) I find it tiring, and othering. You’d also think that in 2025 we’d have stopped asking this question to every person with a slight accent or a different colour skin. They usually continue with ‘oh and which town are you from exactly?’ Honestly, who cares?! I sometimes just name a random town, or the capital (considered cool) - for variety. Having said all this, what it really comes down to is this: I have been here so long, and still I am seen, at every interaction, as the foreigner. The stranger. I don’t want or need to have that pointed out every.single.time. You are not alone, OP.

100% and it's bloody rude then too.

I was in Melbourne in January and was talking to someone in a shop and he asked where I was from and I said 'Australia, but I live in the UK' and he said 'Get the bloody plum out of your mouth then'. Because my accent has changed slightly in all that time.

That was another 'Piss off you dick' moment for me.

Respectfully, this is a you problem.

When I lived in the US, I got it every day too - and I loved it. People were delighted to get to meet a British person, they wanted to ask me if I knew their random friend who lived in London, if I’d ever met the Queen, where I would recommend going on holiday if they only had one week in the UK, etc. I respected the fact it came from a place of genuine curiosity and I always enjoyed the chance to have a chat with people who wanted to share their interest in my home country with me.

If people are wanting to engage with you about where you come from in a positive way, then why does it bother you so much? I’d understand if you were experiencing abuse, but it sounds like these are positive interactions?

I also highly doubt this happens to you every day - as a fellow Londoner I can’t imagine people are really having a chat with you constantly about your accent when pretty much everyone here comes from somewhere else!

What happens if you say “xx- what about you? “ and drive a conversation yourself?

People are being friendly and interested when they ask you. It’s a nice thing!

This ⬆️
On a tube journey on a regular day I see hundreds of different people who probably have heritage outside of the UK and I hear literally hundreds of different accents.
It's really a strange one.

Born and bred in the UK but my accent is a bit odd, for some reason I’ve always had a twang to it (similar to Australians/New Zealand) so throughout my childhood I was always being asked where I was from originally.
I also have Spanish roots form my grandmother so quite often people assume I’m from Greece or spain just though how I look.
I went on to marry a man from another country which further changed my accent so I still get asked where I’m from.

Not intended unkindly but I suspect this is part of the issue!

YABU because I love meeting and chatting to people from other countries

I do too but I would wait for the other person to bring it up. I wouldn't just initiate a conversation with a stranger and ask them because I was curious about their accent!

Once someone has referenced 'my country' a couple of times I'll ask them where that is and a conversation about it might arise but otherwise I don't. Other people don't exist to satisfy my, or anyone else's, curiosity.

I would look at it as a conversation starter.
It is one of those questions I will ask of new colleagues (get a lot of these as people are rotating round departments as training posts) - either that or where did you qualify, where did you work before and as many are fairly young - are you living at home with your parents.

I live in an area that has a very strong accent., although I was born and raised in a very famous seaside resort in the north West.
People do notice the accent and have often asked where I was from. When I tell them they are always very interested and wanted to know more. I never found it intrusive and always happy to chat about my home town

People don't care AT ALL where you are from. They are simply asking because it's something to fill the void . I spend a lot of time with my grandchildren. If I meet someone from one of my hobby groups whilst we're out they ask this and that about them ( always how old are they, are they twins etc etc). They're just being polite. None of it matters.

It's super draining and othering isn't it? I'd reply that you're from down the road. Wait for the next question being 'No, where are you really from?' And then ask them the same, whether they came with the Romans, Germanic wave or vikings. Ask if they have any Recent European ancestors of have they done one of those DNA things. Take a real interest in their origins and keep asking questions and let them know you are just being friendly and curious as most people here are from somewhere else originally. Don't forget to compliment them on their RP accent considering they have been born in (insert area) and tell them how well they speak English considering the state of education and lack of funding. Smile politely and speak slowly if they don't understand you and your questions, don't forget to tell them your favourite meal from wherever they are from and your friend you had once from there. Good luck OP. It's not polite or curious if on the receiving end.

I am ethnically Indian and born in Malaysia. Very occasionally I have been irritated and my kids born in the UK with UK accents certainly find it irritating. However, generally I am quite pleased to tell people about where I am from, the sites, the food and the people and to encourage people to visit. I had this conversation with an old gentleman in my village just the other day. He was fascinated to know I had a mango tree in my garden growing up. My kids would say it is "othering". You have noticed we are brown and now want to make something out of the difference.

It seems your point is you are bored of having the same conversation over and over (and you don't mind so much if the topic is closed with your answer). I think that's understandable, I think most people would tire of having the same topic foisted upon them, whatever the topic was.

How to shut it down politely...
"Do you know, people often ask me about [country] but I haven't lived there for many years. I can recommend a book to you if you're interested"
They probably won't be interested enough to pursue that... if they are just direct them to a random book or even the bloody Lonely Planet guide for your country.

If they persist, "gosh I really haven't lived there for many years". If it's someone you'd like to keep talking to, direct the conversation as you see fit. If not, there's nothing wrong with "won't you excuse me" (parties and when you're able to walk away). For all other situations, change topic to the weather?!