To be sick and tired of being asked where I am from

[Playdoughy]

Just that really.
I am not from the UK, I've lived here a good portion of my life, my child was born here, my husband is also not from the UK (different country than me), and every single time everywhere - restaurants, get-togethers, parties we are invited to, standing in a queue, riding a bus, paying for a book in a bookshop - I really do mean everywhere and every single time - we both get asked where are we from - nicely and in a friendly manner ofcourse.

Now, to be clear - I am proud of where I am from, I don't mind talking about my country, a lot of beautiful things to say. I also don't expect people to assume I am from around here - I am aware of my accent 😁 so it's not like I am 'offended' that I am recognised as a foreigner...
I am just simply tired of the one and the same conversation every single time, day after day, all these years. If after my response I get - 'ah interesting I was wondering about accent' - fine, topic finished. But 90 percent of the time this goes into full conversation - Oh interesting, so what about xyz, how is xyz, do you xyz, how do you xyz.

When people engage into these conversations - does it really never cross their mind that this poor person you are about to interrogate about their roots probably gets that same question all the time and maybe just maybe is tired of it.
How about a good old weather themed conversation? Or asking about where I bought my bag, or recommend a movie, or simply rant about the ridiculous prices... anything but - 'so where are you from?'
And yes I know that the default answer to my post may be - 'If you don't mind me asking but - where are you from?' It is not even funny anymore.

Also is there anything I could potentially do to communicate that these questions are not exactly welcomed, without being rude or sounding like I am trying to hide something or being a weirdo.

Well I have olive skin and have been told I look Italian etc and I keep getting asked but I'm 100 British

You are from London and you get asked in London by everyone you talk to, where you’re from?!

My story is true, not utter tosh. Yours sounds like nonsense. My British husband never gets asked where he’s from and whenever we meet with other British born people, nobody is asking anyone where they are from.

Yes, I hear you.
Was born in Communist Czechoslovakia, have been asked countless times. About 17 years into living here, they stopped. (Have been here for 22 years altogether).
So fed up of everything now, trying to comfortably wiggle my way back home. At least stupid questions and small talk doesn't happen anymore, probably for fear of political correctness.

I tried to ❤️ this about 15 times, but it won’t let me!

Another proud Lancastrian here!!

Possibly if you were indicating irritation/ sick/ tired/ drained by the question - she may have taken that as a cue to disengage?

a full on conversation on the topic, wanting to know anything and everything, I am not a tourist guide

It sounds as though you're from a place that provokes a lot of curiosity, either because people wonder about visiting there (and asking you saves them hours on TripAdvisor) or because it has a complex history that they're interested in hearing your side of.

Could you make up somewhere less intriguing (e.g. France - few Brits have never been), or alternatively say something like Planet Zog?!

I get this too. Mostly doesn't bother me, and I'm never rude about it but is my accent really a novelty in 2025?!?! Always tempted to make something up but then think I may meet them again (but of course never do) I reckon it's people that haven't travelled much or left their hometowns so accents to them are still different

I'm surprised random Londoners strike up so much conversation with strangers. Im.guessing this isnt central London? Unless I think your from NZ or Canada I don't really wonder where people are from at all. The last time I asked anyone it was a Czechoslovakian who did her nursing degree in Scotland as her accent was both Scottish and Czech. If I asked everyone who had a accent where they was from I'd be asking all day. I think they are just interested which is nice. However I'm genuinely not at all interested 99.9% of the time hence never ask. My son goes to school in outer London and lots of parents aren't born in the UK. The non UK born parents ask the other parents their nationality so it's not just a British topic from what I observe.

Exactly!!! And when they say ‘oh, I know someone called XY, she’s from your country too! Do you know her?’ Yes, because I know everyone who is from the country that I left 30 years ago. 🤣🤣

Ah so somehow it’s still my fault. Do you really not realise how ridiculous you sound? All the excuses under the sun.

I get that. Im from London, spent a lot of time in Liverpool during my child hood, moved to Yorkshire in my teens and now live in Lancashire.

My accent is messy at best.
I get the ' oh where are you fron every time I meet some one new' Saying thst im from Barnoldswick where im currently living doesn't cut the mustard with them! They always want to trace my accent to the original source which gets time consuming and boring!

Had a drunk acquaintance text me at 1 am that her taxi driver is from the same country as me. So much excitement ! 🙄

Must have been a long time ago since Czechoslovakia stopped existing in the 90s…

Wow, I bet you could barely sleep after that and had the urge to meet up with this taxi driver so you can trace your roots back and talk about childhood memories 😳🙄🤯

😂

They won’t get it… I get what you’re saying and totally agree! Can they not ask anything else?🤔 What do you do? What are you doing over Christmas/summer? Talk about the weather! Or something about the place where you are/met. Anything but the bloomin accent! 🤯 It’s just so boring! 🥱

It’s actually very sad, that there are people on this thread, making out people are being racist, that they are repeatedly being asked where they’re from🙄
I’ve got an accent, so has my family and many of my friends, l really don’t believe this is true!

The reason that @Playdoughy (and many if us) find the

"Where are you from?"

question so tiring and at time offensive is because it comes with the obvious implication that you don't belong "here." That you are "Other."

I am English back as long as you can trace a family tree (coat of arms & all). But I sometimes don't sound English, and I get the "Where are you from?" or worse, when I say, England "But where are you really from?"

Totally offensive.

So true!!
I too sometimes think that I’ll say I’m Finnish or Latvian, but then think 🤔 what if they speak the language and I don’t (of course they don’t…) 🤣

Try living abroad and being scouse. I lost count of the amount of times I got Beatles songs sung at me when i said i was from Liverpool.

I’ve never had it ‘drummed’ into me that it’s not polite to ask someone where are they are from. That’s ridiculous

Peopke just need to lighten up a bit. It’s polite to show an interest in others. Would you prefer it If nobodyacknowledged your accent? I personally think it’s ignorant to do that.

I lived abroad in my 20s and loved it, when people asked about my home, where I was from etc, It made me feel like they were interested in me and wanted a conversation/connection.

@Playdoughy thank you for relating your experiences with this. I never considered this perspective and I will now. I live in a small northern town and the last few years we’ve had an influx of new and interesting languages. I do ask some people what the language they are speaking is and I explain that it sounds lovely. The cadence, how it flows etc. I try to not to ask questions beyond that. I’ll reconsider this now and contemplate that it could be annoying or upsetting for some people.

if I was in a position where small talk was necessary I would likely ask somthing equally mundane and harmless. This is done out of politeness, and part of everyday life. Similar, I’m sure to asking where someone is from.

I don’t understand this.

why do they think you are not from here?

Spot on