Concerned about how much my brother and his partner eat and worried I won't have enough

[xAwaywiththefairiesx]

My brother lives in a different part of the country to us and I don't see him much. We've never been close but I love him and have been trying to understand him better. He's awkward but does his best socially but he often rubs people up the wrong way or comes cross as selfish and feels terribly guilty when this is pointed out to him.

Him and his partner, who I've only met a couple of times, are coming to Christmas dinner at my house, there will be 14 of us in total and I'm making a big effort. Trouble is, they both eat a hell of a lot and if theres food available, they will simply eat it. I actually don't know if I can do enough to fully satisfy them to the point they'll stop, and have enough for everyone else. My oven simply isn't big enough.

Examples, at Christmas dinner at my mum's one year when DB was still single, he took my mum's serving plate and ped it with eight Yorkshires and 9 pigs in blankets, plus huge helpings of all the veg and meat. When it was pointed out in a friendly way that he had a lot there he acted as though people were just picking on him for eating too much and didn't get the point that several people were going without because he'd taken it all.

Another time he was at my house for dinner and I gave him a huge plate of spaghetti and meatballs and he ate the lot plus an entire garlic bread baguette to himself, that I'd put on the table for everyone and then when my husband didn't finish his plate, he actually took my husband's plate and ate the leftovers from his plate. Then I made a sponge pudding and he ate half of it when it usually feeds the four of us with some left over, plus half a carton of custard.

At my sister's wedding, him and his partner got to the wedding buffet first and I am not exaggerating - they piled their plates with so much of the cheese, that there was hardly any left for others and the buffet was meant to feed 200 people, and they also had huge portions of everything else, then went back for second and thirds. My sister was horrified.

WWYD?

Suck it up and try and make sure there is enough?
Tell him exactly how much he can have?
Serve everyone their plates? (I don't like to do this, I like to do my roasts buffet style so people can choose what they would like)
Or something else?

Please don't roast me to hard, I do want my brother to feel welcome, I'm just worried I can't afford to feed him or will have enough space.

In this case if serve the plates but I’d also cook lots more veg and potatoes. Fill up his and her plates with them to look over full.

Okay so first things first you need to cook more than you think and bulk it out with lots of extras - nibbles, pate, crisps etc.

Then I would suggest you do your roast buffet style like you want to but call people up by group to serve “so it doesn’t get too crowded”. Maybe children first and their parents, then elderly people. Finally you need to state to the room “I’ve allowed 4 pigs in blankets per person” or whatever.

It’s awkward - I have a decent appetite but your brother just sounds rude. You take a little bit and go back for more once everyone has been served.

Serve the plates then he can't take it all.

I'd dish up myself for him, and I'd ply him with nuts and nibbles and crips before the meal.

I would plates up the food for people and have another person running it to the table. Do lots of extra toasties and get a load of sausages and bacon from lidl to make cheap pigs in blankets. I would also buy 4 bags of the mini frozen Yorkshires they have too (about 50p for a bag of 15 ) and put those in bowls aa extras on the middle of the table

You're going to have to plate it up, regardless of whether you want to. Is your brother a big fella?

I’d just tell him that the food is for everyone so don’t be greedy lol

Or tell everyone else to arrive earlier and serve them 10mins beforehand

Yes, they are both very big. I am a big girl too but they are in the league of their own in terms of what they can eat.

Asked them to bring a couple of dishes? And as others have said plate up. It’s rude to take more than a fair share. However once e Europe has eaten they can hoover up left overs? (Although I’d want those for Boxing Day pie! xx

As PP said I would plate up all the plates then any spare leave in kitchen till most people finished. Same for pudding requests dish from kitchen.

Jeez what a greedy pig. I’m not sure I could handle that! It’s one thing having a big appetite, it’s another eating way way more than your share.

You’ll have to plate up the food or make sure he goes last. Maybe have some extra hidden away in reserve. But really how ill mannered he is! I would have to say something. A whole garlic baguette to himself FFS

Agree with the other posters about picky snacks before. Cook a load of cheapo sausage rolls and such that they can scoff. Asda and Farmfoods do some cheap ones that are ok.

Fill them up on cheap things.

Was he overweight last time you saw him? Odds are he's now on Mounjaro and will only eat a lettuce leaf and a cracker

Good shout about buying a couple of bags of cheap Yorkshire puddings. I'd add a bag of cheap sausages as well, and let him and his partner gorge on them instead of nicking all the turkey.

I don’t believe two adults ate nearly all the cheese on a buffet meant to cater for 200 people.

ask them to bring food and buy a bit more than normal. Serve them last. I mean he is your brother and it’s Christmas, I assume you don’t want to uninvite him?

Plate it up. Cook plenty of extra veg and potatoes and do those. I do hate it when I go for a roast and get given 2 roast potatoes etc so I would just massively over cater on those I think.

Didn't your mother bring him up with sufficiently good manners not to behave like a pig at the table?

You're describing unfettered gluttony. His/their behaviour is really antisocial and without concern for anyone else. I think you've had good suggestions for how to deal with it, especially plating up and inviting them close to last (but not last as they will decide to 'help you out' by eating whatever is left. If there is any challenge from your brother, I would be absolutely blunt and say 'I'm trying to make sure you don't eat all the food because there are 14 people to feed'. I don't envy you at all. I would hate this.

Id plate it up honestly and have extra bowls of veg on the table or even bread and butter.

You could buffet the veg and potatoes and stuffing if you really want buffet just dish up the meats and yorkies and the go help yourself.

That way they cannot just take all the more expensive and thus few items.

Did his dad not teach him any manners?

His and his xx

My mistake sorry.

Are you blaming a grown man’s mother for his lack of social skills and inability to behave at a dinner?