Sulking dh because he had to miss out

[sulkingalot]

I’ve got the flu (or covid? Not sure which) I’ve been pretty much bed bound all week and only this morning have managed to even pick up my phone as have been that exhausted even holding a phone was too heavy!

Dh has had to miss his work Xmas party and going to the gym due to me not being able to look after the dc and he also had to have 2 days off work. He wanted to go the gym this morning and I said I’m really not up to it and he’s sulking. Keeps giving me strange looks like he can’t stand me and huffing and puffing and tutting for no reason at all.

He’s now off till after Xmas - I have to be better for work on Monday so I really think my recovery is important. Unless of course he comes down with this as well.

AIBU to feel sad that he’s not been very kind or supportive? I’m literally never ill like this 😭

How can you say he has not been supportive?

He has taken time off work, looked after the kids all week, missed out on his works Christmas do and has obviously not had time to do anything he wants for himself (gym) so that you can recover? How the hell is that not being supportive?

You have a right to feel sad that you don't think he is being kind, just as he has a right to feel frustrated and disappointed that he can't finally get out of the house and do something for himself for an hour.

The amount of complete c*nts on this thread is mind blowing.

You would put your 3 small children in foster care if you were a single parent because you have flu/covid? JFC.

Tell him can go to the gym when the kids are in bed/ before they get up 😁

You say 'he's huffing and puffing' I'd be asking if he was okay, sounds like he has a breathing problem. I'm a bitch and proud.

Only for hospital admissions if there really is no family or friends that can look after the children temporarily. I'm a single parent I've had to care for them multiple times when I've been unwell. Sometimes they were unwell as well changing shitty nappies isn't fun when you have a vomiting bug. But I had no choice both have special needs ds is a Houdini.

Just because it's hard for you doesn't mean it has to be just as hard for everyone else

What a man child! Why does this time of year seem to bring them all out in their drives?!
Let's see how well he copes and looks after the DC once he catches it from you (fingers crossed) considering he wants to be a martyr

Wait until you’re properly better the; have a serious conversation with him. If he’s not the default parent (which sounds correct) then he needs to man up and get over himself. It’s hardly like you’ve swanned off somewhere and dumped him. You can’t help being ill but his attitude is making things so much worse.

What is wrong with you?

Why would he have cabin fever? He's not been confined to bed.

I know people whose children have had to go into care because their single parent was ill

Almost any other occasion and I’d say of course the husband has to stay home. But a Christmas night out is once a year, and it’s just not something he needed to miss.

This pretty much sums it up.

Get well soon OP and ignore the sulking.

How is missing a works party or not going to a gym a hardship? They are his family but somehow it's the wife's fault she is ill and he can't go out for an hour or two to (probably)get pissed and (probably) arse around in a gym which luckily he can miss because he won't have consumed the calories from the party

I had flu like yours when I was heavily pregnant with DD2, DD1 was a toddler and DH was working overseas. My HV said that unless I could persuade my mother to come up and look after DD1, she would have to go into foster care, which they would arrange. They were on the verge of admitting me to hospital as I also had a severe UTI that wouldn’t clear up. Thankfully, my Mum listened to the HV and came straight over.

I hope you feel better soon, OP.

OP was too ill to take care of her three young children. It makes no difference if it was a Christmas party or a trip to the gym. What is it that you don't understand? It's clear from your posts that you are a martyr. It's not an attractive quality.

I’m a martyr? Excuse me? Who else do you suggest takes care of my kids when I’m ill then, if I’m a martyr for just getting on with it?

Sorry but there are far too many people on mumsnet (and bloody school mum gates) who go on and on about how hard they have it and how they can’t possible manage the kids, when they absolutely can because one third of parents are single parents and we just get on with it. Without complaining. And I’m a martyr. Right.

I have just spent four days delirious in bed with flu. When I finally got on my feet I couldn't stop thinking about what I would have done if I was a single parent. Maybe you are like the women who get extra emergency strength and can lift a car off a trapped child, or may be you are the women who are lucky enough to have family members to rely on, or extra cash to pay for a babysitter, or maybe you are just about well enough to chance it with an older child to help out, maybe you are well enough you can drag yourself out of bed to do the basics, or maybe you are not and you are one of the single parents who do utilise emergency foster care. Let's hope none of us are the poor (lazy) sick mother who lost her life at home as well as her child.

Your medal is in the post.

It depends on their ages though. Can't see any 11 year old wanting to go out on the pram lol

She has a one year old.

If you're too ill to look after the DC for a few hours, then it is what it is. Can't be helped and of course your recovery is v important.

At the same time, I think cut him some slack for feeling a bit down about it all. Missing his work Xmas party and being cooped up with 3 kids is all a bit shit, isn't it?

I'd say the same if it was a woman whoever had to miss out and be running everything too.

It's not your fault amd YANBU but maybe just understand that he must have cabin fever too. Of course, like you, he signed up for life with 3 kids esp as there doesn't seem to be a support network. But we're all human.

I'm sure he'll survive missing out on some drinks with colleagues he already spends loads of time with. A shame he'd rather do that than look out for his wife.

Poor man 😂😂😂