Page 10 | Sulking dh because he had to miss out

sulkingalot · 2025-12-20T10:27:04+00:00

I’ve got the flu (or covid? Not sure which) I’ve been pretty much bed bound all week and only this morning have managed to even pick up my phone as have been that exhausted even holding a phone was too heavy! Dh has had to miss his work Xmas party and going to the gym due to me not being able to look after the dc and he also had to have 2 days off work. He wanted to go the gym this morning and I said I’m really not up to it and he’s sulking. Keeps giving me strange looks like he can’t stand me and huffing and puffing and tutting for no reason at all. He’s now off till after Xmas - I have to be better for work on Monday so I really think my recovery is important. Unless of course he comes down with this as well. AIBU to feel sad that he’s not been very kind or supportive? I’m literally never ill like this 😭

Somethingneedstochange78 · 20/12/2025 23:13

sulkingalot · 20/12/2025 11:06

In response to the single parent comments if I was a SP I was that ill I would have had to call SS to arrange temporary foster care as it wasn’t just a case of pushing through. My fever was so high I was hallucinating, my throat was so sore but I was also vomiting and uncontrolled shivering / shaking . I couldn’t have even safely made a bottle and I couldn’t move !

That can be caused by not drinking enough fluids. You have to drink plenty of water those symptoms your describing sounds like dehydration yes it can cause vomiting as well.

NoisyViewer · 20/12/2025 23:15

The gym for me is more to do with my mental health as it is to keep fit. If I do have a break I end up feeling down & it clicks when I go back as to why. It starts my day off right & I end up being more productive. When I don’t go I tend to be lazy & fatigued, then I eat the wrong stuff & feel even worse

pikkumyy77 · 20/12/2025 23:27

NoisyViewer · 20/12/2025 23:15

The gym for me is more to do with my mental health as it is to keep fit. If I do have a break I end up feeling down & it clicks when I go back as to why. It starts my day off right & I end up being more productive. When I don’t go I tend to be lazy & fatigued, then I eat the wrong stuff & feel even worse

He can exercise at home—women are told to do it all the time. Videos can help him figure it out. I just don’t understand why men are treated as such frail flowers that a week of looking after his own kids is seen as almost a life threat.

99bottlesofkombucha · 20/12/2025 23:29

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 20/12/2025 15:40

God thank you, yes THIS ^^

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Has he been supportive or has he just parented?

I can’t get over the number of people on this thread saying flu is not a serious illness. The 15-64 age group saw over 1200 deaths from flu in the last season, I shouldn’t have to also type that obviously this means many many more people hospitalised and completely incapable of performing every day tasks like looking after children, particularly a 1 yo, a 7yo with special needs who needs a lot of direct care and another one in between. It is entirely plausible that the op was, as she says, totally incapable of looking after them. Which is a he sucks it the fuck up scenario and misses his party and gym workout WITHOUT sulking because they are HIS children. Mums of special needs children are not typically fainting flowers who plead it’s too hard when they get a sniffle, they are tough nuts used to soldiering on through illness because their child needs them. Until they can’t. Which is where the op has been.

As I posted earlier, I would divorce most people on this thread, and if I heard friends excusing this behaviour I’d absolutely judge them, but I don’t think I have those kind of anti women friends.

Btowngirl · 21/12/2025 00:42

pikkumyy77 · 20/12/2025 22:35

Completely supportive? I mean—they are HIS FUCKING KIDS? Do women require handholding. Applause, snd a special hour off when they are called upon to hold down the fort for all of a week? He us supporting his own kids—not his wife. This id not a favor he id doung her but just the god damned job of parenting. Holy shit people have low expectations for men.

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I’ve got a wife & we equally parent. If I’m completely absent for a week due to illness/work/whatever then yeah, I would be saying go to the gym and get some you time. You can be grateful for your partner taking the slack without it meaning you usually do everything... If this was the other way around, she would be saying the same to me. It’s not a competition it’s about working together surely. Do we know if Op goes to the gym usually? Does 100% of parenting every week? How out of the norm is it? This shouldn’t be a man versus woman issue, it’s a reflection of the relationship as a whole and what has/hasn’t been their set up usually.

I actually feel like it’s a really low standard that you think it’s such a big deal for the partner to go to the gym. It’s good behaviour to model to children, give and take in a relationship, keeping fit etc.

Teacherjw · 21/12/2025 03:23

@ErlingHaalandsManBun you seem heavily invested in defending the OPs husband with your numerous screeds. Just because the bar you have for men is so low that fleas couldn't get under it, doesn't mean that the OPs husband is going to pick you.

DeepRubySwan · 21/12/2025 03:30

This is why women get treated like shit by men...because there is a horde of other women in the wings defending them and willing to be treated like absolute crap by them as a way to 'sell' the benefits of having a LTR with them. Unless women band together and ALL OF US do not put up with this crap, men will just move onto the next doormat willing to completely subjugate herself to him for the prize of 'stability' with a male partner who treats her like dirt.

Thechaseison71 · 21/12/2025 04:56

Blades2 · 20/12/2025 12:56

You think when we get so ill we can’t get out of bed we phone SS to mind our children? Im sorry but you’re completely tone deaf and out of touch. No we don’t. We rely on family and friends IF we become that sick. And if we don’t have that support, surprise surprise, we muddle through somehow.

my ex would never have taken days off.

My friends kids were taken into foster care as she was suffering from ME and couldn't look after them. Their dad had long since died and no family members to do it. Especially as it was nearly 18 months

NoisyViewer · 21/12/2025 07:02

pikkumyy77 · 20/12/2025 23:27

He can exercise at home—women are told to do it all the time. Videos can help him figure it out. I just don’t understand why men are treated as such frail flowers that a week of looking after his own kids is seen as almost a life threat.

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It’s not the same. I’m not advocating for men to be treated like a fragile flower either I’m actually saying I want to be treated like one. that a week without the gym would have consequences to my mood also. It’s not like he’s playing up to go to the pub (yes he may have been disappointed to miss out on a night out but he didn’t go & he is entitled to feel that way) by the way an hour isn’t going to seriously impact her recovery. You can sit them in front of screens for a one off

Lurker85 · 21/12/2025 07:29

Heronwatcher · 20/12/2025 11:24

Have you seen that she’s got 3 kids, including a 1 year old and a 7 yr old with SEN? I think the chances of them being put in front of a TV for a couple of hours and sitting quietly are very slim.

Plus you may be right that the OP might not be better for work on Monday, who knows, but that still doesn’t mean that the DH should be moody now just because she’s still feeling ill. He’s finished work now so has 6 days free minimum, I’m sure the OP hasn’t said he can’t go to the gym at any point, just not this morning when she’s still feeling awful.

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Apparently looking after 3 kids, including a 1 year old and 7 year old with SEN, only requires as much energy as scrolling your phone in bed according to some people 🙄 these “single parents have to do it” martyrs on here are horrendous as well. They think if she’s well enough to look at her phone she can jump back up and look after the kids just so he can go to the gym because the poor man missed his Christmas party and has cabin fever apparently. Pass me the violin.

pictoosh · 21/12/2025 07:32

NoisyViewer · 21/12/2025 07:02

It’s not the same. I’m not advocating for men to be treated like a fragile flower either I’m actually saying I want to be treated like one. that a week without the gym would have consequences to my mood also. It’s not like he’s playing up to go to the pub (yes he may have been disappointed to miss out on a night out but he didn’t go & he is entitled to feel that way) by the way an hour isn’t going to seriously impact her recovery. You can sit them in front of screens for a one off

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You have articulated what I couldn't.
I'd have cabin fever under these circumstances too. I'd be wanting to go for a run.

Icecreamisthebest · 21/12/2025 07:43

Can he go when the DC are in bed?

HalzTangz · 21/12/2025 08:04

Soonflower · 20/12/2025 10:36

She’s said she can’t. She’s not well enough. I don’t know why you think you’d know better.

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So what do single parents do when no other support is available, they got out of bed and look after kids whether they are ill or not.
Sorry but the OP could surely move from the bed to the sofa to watch kids whilst he pops to the gym

FedUpWithDilemmas · 21/12/2025 08:12

The point is, he's done everything needed while she had been ill. Now she's getting better, he wants to get out a bit - before she goes to work and he's in charge of the children again. Switch the roles and people would be saying that of course the woman could have just an hour to herself. They would probably be mocking him for leaving her to do the work while ill (manflu etc.)

B1anche · 21/12/2025 08:13

HalzTangz · 21/12/2025 08:04

So what do single parents do when no other support is available, they got out of bed and look after kids whether they are ill or not.
Sorry but the OP could surely move from the bed to the sofa to watch kids whilst he pops to the gym

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Watch them? What's the point of that? If she's too ill to get up or lift them then they might as well be at home on their own. Jesus, some of the single parents on here really can't understand the concept of a couple supporting each other.

Blades2 · 21/12/2025 08:21

Thechaseison71 · 21/12/2025 04:56

My friends kids were taken into foster care as she was suffering from ME and couldn't look after them. Their dad had long since died and no family members to do it. Especially as it was nearly 18 months

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Yes as I said. They do take kids of sick people. Not for flu.

99bottlesofkombucha · 21/12/2025 08:23

Blades2 · 21/12/2025 08:21

Yes as I said. They do take kids of sick people. Not for flu.

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What about all the thousands of adults under 63 who were hospitalised for flu? And the 1200 odd aged between 16 and 59 or similar who died of the flu? 🤧 if they had dc and no family did social services just leave those kids to be abandoned orphans , those 4yos can just look after the 1yo while their mum is in hospital because it’s just the flu? Don’t be so ridiculous, of bloody course they take them.

Blades2 · 21/12/2025 08:39

99bottlesofkombucha · 21/12/2025 08:23

What about all the thousands of adults under 63 who were hospitalised for flu? And the 1200 odd aged between 16 and 59 or similar who died of the flu? 🤧 if they had dc and no family did social services just leave those kids to be abandoned orphans , those 4yos can just look after the 1yo while their mum is in hospital because it’s just the flu? Don’t be so ridiculous, of bloody course they take them.

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If you say so 😂

SpaceRaccoon · 21/12/2025 08:46

Abouttoblow · 20/12/2025 12:12

The amount of complete c*nts on this thread is mind blowing.

The scary part is most or all seem to be parents as well. I'm child free but entirely sympathise with the OP. Of course taking care of your own children takes precedence over a work jolly and the gym!

Thechaseison71 · 21/12/2025 08:47

Blades2 · 21/12/2025 08:39

If you say so 😂

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Well I'm sure they'd have to do something rather than leave them alone

pikkumyy77 · 21/12/2025 15:19

Btowngirl · 21/12/2025 00:42

I’ve got a wife & we equally parent. If I’m completely absent for a week due to illness/work/whatever then yeah, I would be saying go to the gym and get some you time. You can be grateful for your partner taking the slack without it meaning you usually do everything... If this was the other way around, she would be saying the same to me. It’s not a competition it’s about working together surely. Do we know if Op goes to the gym usually? Does 100% of parenting every week? How out of the norm is it? This shouldn’t be a man versus woman issue, it’s a reflection of the relationship as a whole and what has/hasn’t been their set up usually.

I actually feel like it’s a really low standard that you think it’s such a big deal for the partner to go to the gym. It’s good behaviour to model to children, give and take in a relationship, keeping fit etc.

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But its an emergency? She’s still sick?

Milosc · 21/12/2025 18:57

I can't believe the responses on here. OP is ill and her kids should not be around or they may get ill as well. She is not a single mum, she has a husband and their children are also his responsibility. He can suck it up for a week to take care of her and his own children. My god, he has to care for his own children for a week, boo hoo, the poor poor man. 🙄 He should want to care for her. She is his wife. I can't imagine how horrible relationships are on here where you don't care about your spouse when they are ill and they don't care about you.

My DH had surgery last month and I took off an entire week to care for him. He didn't ask, I just did it. Sure he could have taken care of himself after 3 or 4 days, but why should he? I love him and don't want to see him in any pain. A spouse who loves you would take care of you. A few days or weeks is nothing. How will he respond if she got really ill? He won't die not going to a party or the gym. The absolute woman blaming is insane on here. Being in a relationship means you can't be a selfish ass all the time.

Curiousrobin · 21/12/2025 20:11

The whole single parent argument is silly. Why are we only applying it to OP? How about we turn the tables and apply it to her DH for a moment. What would he do? Would he be able to go to the gym and look after HIS OWN kids..?