To not look after DSC with a chest infection whilst DP goes to a football match

[sorrytorun]

On antibiotics for pneumonia. Feeling awful. Haven’t been able to leave bed for a week.

DSC (5) is with us this weekend. DH has announced today that his 5- aside football team is playing a charity match today. He will be on the bench 🙄 he’s asked me if I can look after DSC for “3 or so hours” whilst he goes or whether he should take him with him.

i said I was feeling rotten and usually I’d be fine to look after DSC but can he take him with him today.

he said “you could watch a film with him?” I said no again and he flounced off saying he won’t be able to come off the bench now.

Aibu?

Misunderstood at first and thought the child was the one with the chest infection!

Heck no, you should not have to look after your step child whilst you have a chest infection and the child actual parent buggers off! Stand your ground.

At first I thought DSC was the one with the chest infection! But definitely YANBU. Hope you feel better soon.

Yanbu at all

YANBU x 100

Your sentence construction is a bit off. The child isn't the one with the infection.

But you're right to say no.

Shouldn't he be doing Christmassy things with his 5 year old a few days before Christmas? I bet there will be a pub visit afterwards.

No you are ill

Another day, another dickhead husband

‘he’s asked me if I can look after DSC for “3 or so hours” whilst he goes or whether he should take him with him.’

how weird that those are the only 2 options the two of you thought were available.
surely the third option, he doesn’t go on the bench, is the obvious one?
he sounds beyond selfish, which I’m sure extends to other things, and isn’t a trait I’d have any interest in being around.

Your DH should be looking after his son or finding someone else to babysit. Surely he’ll be going for drinks somewhere afterwards so it will be more than three hours?

You've got pneumonia and he wants you to babysit?

Good lord no. These fucking useless 'dads'.

Also, what an absolute cunt of a father you would have to be to subject your child to getting pneumonia so that you could go with your footie team. This would be a ‘I’m ending this relationship’ right now situation for me. Horrible man. Awful father.

Your title is completely misleading.

Your husband is a selfish arse.

No no no no no no no no no.

He shouldn’t be making plans at all when his DC are over. It’s his DC to look after. People who bring children to relationships have no right to push their responsibilities to other people. Especially not when it’s not offered.

He is being completely unreasonable. The child is 5, if they were 10 it would be a little different but 5 year olds are very needy and need their parent. He is the parent and he needs to make sacrifices.

The fact that he is also willing to swan off out the door when you are clearly very unwell is also quite telling. Dh wouldn't leave me to sit on the bench and not even play. He would stay home to look after his child and be there for me and whatever I need too.

Also, this has really riled me, but it’s the Saturday before Christmas, and he sounds like the kind of dad who rarely sees his child, so any decent parent would have organised Santa visits, light trails etc etc
it beggars belief that he prioritises the bench at a crappy social football match and thinks it’s fine to dump his child with someone unrelated who has blooming pneumonia!!

my controversial opinion is that some people shouldn’t be alllowed kids, and he’d be one of them.

He asked you a question and when you said he should take him, he wasn't happy. Why did he ask if he should take his child abs when you said yes, he got in a huff.

He needs to let the team know he can't go today. Simple.

Yet another selfish, lazy, shit dad and partner being 100% inappropriate.

Tell him no. Hope you feel better soon @sorrytorun . You're obviously really unwell x

She hasn’t married him and if she’s got any sense she won’t nor have any children with him. He is not a good father.

Football is more important then his child

that says it all

you are ill

even if not poorly - it’s the weekend before Xmas and dad should be seeing his child not swanning off of football - even tho it’s charity

or take the child with him - but yes would mean he can’t play

Wake up call - don't waste your life on a man who doesnt value you.

I agree with this 👆

3 or so hours suggests he is off to the pub as well as football, though wouldn't be surprised if he isn't really going to football

I would get through Christmas and leave. He does not care or value you.