Shingles bell for xmas and Mil

[arcticpandas]

My 15 y old son has got the shingles. My Mil says he can't come to hers because she's afraid. I have told her it is not contagieus unless she licks his back (only on back) because she has already had chicken pox as has the rest of the family.

She is convinced that it is contagieus even though I have sent her nhs links "oh, I don't care about the net" because she is adamant she got it from someone in her thirties and it was extremely painful. She does anecdotal evidence rather than scientific ex insists on antibiotics for viral infections so you can't reason with her. She's normally a lovely woman and a wonderful grandma but my son is so sad if he has to stay home for christmas (with me ofcourse). Personally I don't care but since christmas is important for him I'm frustrated with her stance on this. So DH and ds2 will go and ds1 will he heartbroken. To add: he's autistic and very immature, I doubt his brother would be as upset as him for ex.

Am I unreasonable to think that Mil should follow scientific guidance rather than her own "experiences"?

(And why didn't she get the vaccine when she went to have her covid and flu jab if she's so worried about it- they do all three and it's on a big sign in our pharmacy we both go to).

Excuse me but I’d had chicken pox as a child, and shingles vax about 20 years ago - and still got shingles 4 years ago.

This is what he thinks now but in reality watching his dad and brother go off to the traditional Christmas will be much harder than them staying home.
Please try to prep him and excite him about the new things happening. Remember your MIL won’t be around for ever- new traditions can and ultimately must be formed. Why not try now.

That's your own immune system reactivating it though.

Neither did my GP.

You can only get shingles if you have had chickenpox as it is reactivation of the chicken pox virus. It is only contagious to people who have never had chickenpox and if affected they would develop chickenpox not shingles.
Agree the whole family should be united at her unreasonable behaviour and stay home

You should all stay home at Christmas, I wouldn’t split my family! She has a choice, welcome you all or none of you!

That’s not true! You are more likely to get it if you had chicken pox because the virus is in your body

Can you show me some evidence of this? After working as an ANP in General Practice for 35 years I have never read or heard anything to back this up!
many people may have had such mild chickenpox that it wasn’t obvious but they still contracted the virus

Some of my friends who had chicken pox as a child have had really bad shingles as an adult, I don’t know about your experience but am surprised you have never seen this happen

But you can only have shingles if you had chickenpox. If you havent had chickenpox you wont develop shingles. The prerequisite for shingles is having chickenpox in the past

All stay at home and have a nice family Christmas. She can join you if she decides to just come for an hour ....

What are you saying isn't true?

@arcticpandas, if your MIL is incorrectly convinced it's airborne, isn't she worried about it incubating on your DH and other DC and that they might bring it with them regardless of having symptoms yet?

Frankly, I'd be using that as an excuse for you all to stay at home for the sake of your poor DS1. Tell your MIL that DH will pop round for an hour in a Hazmat suit.

That's good news. The shingles vaccination comes in two doses, usually the second is 8 weeks after the first one.

That’s not true either! My doctor told me you can get shingles even if you’ve never had chicken pox, I thought the same thing before I was told that

No i'm sorry, I'm not comfortable with people deciding on the fly how something is contracted.
This is your MILs choice, but for me I would insist on solidarity from DH and none of you go. have Christmas at home and let your MIL learn the meaning of "you reap what you sow"

Of course I have seen that happen! You stated that it wasn’t true that you had to have had chickenpox to get shingles though!!

You do need to have had chickenpox (even if very mildly) because shingles is the virus reactivating after infection. The virus can't reactivate if you've never had it

@Evan456 you and whatever doctor you spoke to are wrong. You only develop shingles if the chickenpox virus reactivates due to stress or other reasons. You can only have a reactivation if you had chickenpox in the first place. You cant have shingles without a chickenpox infection in the first place.

That was what I originally said!!

Sorry, message was likely directed at Evan456 who was arguing with you

My mum had shingles recently and I kept my daughter away as she had not had chickenpox. My daughter has since had the chickenpox vaccine. You can't get shingles if you have had chickenpox but I really understand your mother in laws concerns as its pretty nasty.. personally I would keep away from your mother in law but you should all have Christmas as a family.

you can't get shingles if you have had chickenpox

That‘s (unfortunately) wrong.
anyone who's had chickenpox can get shingles because the same virus (varicella-zoster virus) causes both and stays dormant in your nerves. So it potentially reactivates later in life…

I‘m not trying to call you out specifically, just trying to point out a really common piece of misinformation…

Why is her devastation more important than your son's hurt at being excluded at Christmas?? 🤷🏼‍♀️

. I actually meant that if OPS mother in law visited her son she wouldn't contract shingles from him if she has had chickenpox. But you are right if you have had chickenpox the virus lies dormant and you can contract shingles. Ooh hope that makes sense.