Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

[DeadlyDead]

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

Thanks for the diagnosis Dr Freud.

Why would you name and shame?

Ah, the cleaner has arrived.

My previous cleaner took pictures for her Instagram business profile. She always asked and then 'dressed' the room. My property was not identifiable from the photos and she very clearly had my permission.

I was seriously wondering this 😂

Yes! 😂

That'd be fine, she asked permission, I'd be ok with that. Providing I got to approve the pics first!

I would be massively annoyed, immediately telling her to delete the photos and now employing her anymore.

Just because I can have empathy for someone who is clearly struggling in her life? Why kick someone when they are down? Some of you are like vultures circling, waiting to attack the injured.
She hasn’t done the OP any tangible harm as the property isn’t identifiable from the photos so there is no breach of privacy.
It’s possible for the OP to be assertive without being unnecessarily spiteful.

This is insane. Especially down to the level of saying she got a decoration from her Nan!! The lies clearly roll easily off her tongue.

I’m disappointed in you @murasaki.
You are usually fair and compassionate.

Bit you'd still sack her privately? I wouldn't do the public thing either tbh, but she'd be gone as of tomorrow morning. And she'd know why. And I'd ask her to delete the posts or I would go public.

I would be changing the locks and the alarm code. I would screenshot the posts too and I would send a message telling her not to come back. I would feel as though all trust had been broken and you don’t know what else she has been doing in your home.

I'm another loose the cleaner one. I couldn't trust her if she can randomly take photos of your belongings, and thieves are a lot more savvy than people give them credit for.

Because she has used op’s house and decorations and has pretended that it is all hers. Why wouldn’t she name and shame. I’ve be livid. She’s meant to be cleaning the house, not messing around taking photos and claiming she’s a worn out mum but look at what I’ve done for Christmas!

It was a joke, sorry. And I had previously said I wouldn't do it publicly. But I'd still sack her. It's a trust thing.

???? Observation not a diagnosis . It’s clearly not normal

I’d try to ask her why she had done it before making any decision about action to take, if any.
The OP has known her and chatted over coffee with her for 8 years without any major issues so maybe something difficult is going on in her life atm?

“Empathy” is that what you call it? What about empathy for OP? You’ve been spouting all this poor cleaner stuff and putting up a vigorous defence of everyone who criticises her.

And were you the one who suggested the cleaner should get a bonus or was that some other person? 😂

It’s definitely strange that you can’t see how problematic it is to let someone who has been so deceptive using images of OPs private space to continue to have access to OPs home.

I don’t necessarily think you are the cleaner but I wouldn’t be surprised if you would pull this kind of stunt. This isn’t kindness, you’re just minimising really bad behaviour and defending someone who doesn’t seem to respect boundaries and honesty.

She’s a single mother with three kids and she’d likely lose all her cleaning jobs if she was named and shamed, based on the majority reaction on here. I don t think she deserves that for essentially being a bit foolish. She’s not a criminal mastermind

Someone else on here posted the same thing last month !!

Yes this .

Naming amd shaming is not the way to go. But personally I would not trust her im my house again.

I definitely wouldn’t pull that kind of stunt. I can’t imagine what possessed her to do it so I’d ask before authorising a public flogging. Admittedly the OP has been very balanced in her posts, it’s just some others who seem to have no mercy.

When your home is falsely represented on the internet then you can reply to me. I will wait.