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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you help adult DC to go on holiday for friend's 30th?

136 replies

needtowashthefloor · 19/12/2025 12:37

My DD is 26, works full time and bought her first house earlier this year. I know money is tight for her but she is fully financially independent from me. I actually think it's good for her to not have much (and have told her as much) at least once in her life so I don't bail her out, although I do occasionally take her out for lunch etc.
One of her friends from uni turns 30 next year and the friend has invited their uni friend group (about six girls) to go on a holiday abroad to celebrate. DD wants to go but is worried about how she is going to afford it. If you had the means, would you help to allow her to go? She has never been on holiday with the whole group, only a couple of holidays with one or two of her friends at a time.

OP posts:
DeathWinsAGolfish · 19/12/2025 16:15

Of course, without a second thought.

user46256728992 · 19/12/2025 16:18

Yes - when you’re young is when you need money!
I’m wealthy pretty much because of when I was born and houses were cheap, if I can’t share that good fortune with my kids its a pretty sad state of affairs…
It’s no good saving up for years and hoping to go then because by then the friends/her will have kids and the holidays will be very different, you’re only young once!

FutureMandosWife · 19/12/2025 16:21

This was me for my 40th my parents paid for my flight and some spending money for my weekend away with pals. I don't ask for help that much. They offered to pay and they wouldn't accept that I could pay myself. It was made part of my birthday.

Berlinlover · 19/12/2025 16:28

No I wouldn’t. A grown adult should be embarrassed to take money from their parents unless they are going to pay it back.

FcukBreastCancer · 19/12/2025 16:30

I would.
I wish my parents helped me attend my best friend's wedding abroad when I was in my 20s.

martha4clark · 19/12/2025 16:30

Yes definitely

Headingforholidays · 19/12/2025 16:48

Newmeagain · 19/12/2025 16:13

I am over 50 and my parents still occasionally pay for me for things like a holiday. Definitely not because I don’t work extremely hard or can’t save.

Mine too. I am 42 and have no need of financial help but they do it because they want to and they can! It has not in any way made me expect things or work less hard.

Headingforholidays · 19/12/2025 16:50

Berlinlover · 19/12/2025 16:28

No I wouldn’t. A grown adult should be embarrassed to take money from their parents unless they are going to pay it back.

Why?

cramptramp · 19/12/2025 16:51

Yes but it would be an early/late birthday present.

noworklifebalance · 19/12/2025 16:53

Berlinlover · 19/12/2025 16:28

No I wouldn’t. A grown adult should be embarrassed to take money from their parents unless they are going to pay it back.

What miserable nonsense.

My parents helped me as an adult and whilst I could have managed, my life is much better for it.
I will help my parents in old age and whilst they can afford care, I hope the last few years of their life will be better for it.*

That’s what families ought to do - look after and support each other.

*as an aside, this could also reduce the burden on the state. I have not stats to back this up!

TFImBackIn · 19/12/2025 16:55

Of course. Why wouldn't you? And I sort of know what you mean about how you want her to be independent, but if I had spare money and my daughter was working really hard to make ends meet, then some of that money would go her way. I love her. I want her to be comfortable and secure and have treats, too.

Purplewarrior · 19/12/2025 17:24

Berlinlover · 19/12/2025 16:28

No I wouldn’t. A grown adult should be embarrassed to take money from their parents unless they are going to pay it back.

Why?

If the parent is far wealthier and wants to treat their DC. Why shouldn’t they?

YouBelongWithMe · 19/12/2025 17:25

Bloody hell, yes.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 19/12/2025 17:26

Yep, I would. My parents were never in a position to treat me, I think it would be a nice thing to do.

Magsbd · 19/12/2025 19:45

Yes

Wayk · 19/12/2025 22:06

I would no problem.

everdine · 19/12/2025 22:13

Times really have changed!

I would contribute but if she wanted to go she would need to pay the majority!

ChrisMartinsKisskam · 19/12/2025 22:43

Yes I often give my son cash to do nice stuff
I’ve paid for a holiday for him and his partner to join me a few months ago abroad and we had a fab time

I regularly give him some cash like £100 -£150 if he is going away for a weekend

he had an unexpected big bill for his car earlier in the year and I gave him 90 percent of the bill

they are planning a big holiday next year and I have already put aside £500 to give them and will probably be a bit more by the time they go

I rarely give him 100 percent of something but I nearly always give him something if he his going somewhere or doing something and he never ever asks

Loveatortie · 19/12/2025 22:47

Yes

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 19/12/2025 22:49

I would, totally

bonquiqui · 19/12/2025 22:53

Considering the thread on here last week from the parents of an entitled 26 year old that had never left home and held parties where she let her friends smash the place up and vomit on the carpet and didn’t bother cleaning it up, I think you should be very proud of your hard working daughter and helping her out with this would be a lovely thing to do

Endorewitch · 19/12/2025 22:55

Of course I would. Would be glad to.

Abitofapain · 19/12/2025 23:00

I might make a contribution but I’d expect my adult kids to fun their own holidays.

Soashamed60 · 20/12/2025 00:17

TheCosyViewer · 19/12/2025 12:59

26 is very young to have bought a house. Maybe it would have been wiser to have a fun, care-free few years first.

That's a bit irrelevsnt. She has the house now; and good fot her buying one before ownibg your own home becomes even more out of reach.

Soashamed60 · 20/12/2025 00:19

Yes I would help.out my adult dc in this situation op