Would you help adult DC to go on holiday for friend's 30th?

[needtowashthefloor]

My DD is 26, works full time and bought her first house earlier this year. I know money is tight for her but she is fully financially independent from me. I actually think it's good for her to not have much (and have told her as much) at least once in her life so I don't bail her out, although I do occasionally take her out for lunch etc.
One of her friends from uni turns 30 next year and the friend has invited their uni friend group (about six girls) to go on a holiday abroad to celebrate. DD wants to go but is worried about how she is going to afford it. If you had the means, would you help to allow her to go? She has never been on holiday with the whole group, only a couple of holidays with one or two of her friends at a time.

If I could easily afford it, then yes, absolutely!

Without thinking about it. But then I really don’t understand your mentality of it being good for her to struggle, it seems so self-righteous and unkind. And I have a 24 year old DD who is a home owner, works hard and is a good person despite us doing things like that for her regularly.

Yes, she's doing all the responsible things and can't have this time again in 2 years once she's saved up, but if they have siblings I'd balance it over time, unless they waste all their cash etc.

I would definitely help as it seems she has shown she can earn, budget and spend responsibly. If she was frivolous and work shy then definitely not.
Perhaps contribute towards the holiday or spending money without paying for the whole lot?

In the world of grown ups, families do help each other out when they can. Life is for living and enjoyment.

In time, it may be the daughter that helps OP out - hopefully she won’t say to her mum: welcome to the world of the elderly, if you need help getting to the hospital, paying for heating then you will find a way.

Depends what else she has going on in her life.

If she has any other more boring big expenses coming up (boiler, car) I might say to her I'll give her something towards those instead. Take the pressure off but she gets to enjoy spending her hard earned money on her holiday.

I realise it comes to the same thing really.

Of course. I want my children to get maximum joy from life.

It says that OPs daughter has "bought" a house. She's made a choice of how she spends her money.

If OP wants to give her daughter the money that's her choice. It would be mine not to and that was the thread title.

I probably would. They’re at an age where they might start having kids, etc soon so it might be the only chance she gets to go with them for a while. If you’re not comfortable just giving her the money could you loan it to her instead and set up a payment plan with her to pay it back?

I was 26 when I first bought by myself and I wouldn't have been comfortable taking money from my parents for a trip like this. I would have wanted to either be able to pay myself and decide it was worthwhile, or I'd just have seen it as a natural sacrifice of being able to get a mortgage solo at a young age. I don't think I would pay for a child in that situation either, but my first child isn't born yet so perhaps I will feel differently in time!

Yes I would pay for my 26 year olds holiday in the circumstances you have described, it would be a gift. I don't ever want my ds's to 'not have much'.

Yes I would if I could afford it comfortably. She sounds like a sensible girl, has been to Uni, has worked and has managed to get herself into her own home. She has not asked you for this, it's a gift

God, of course, I wouldn't even think twice about it.

I would most certainly offer. Whether or not she took me up on my offer I don't know. She is pretty independent but the offer would most definitely be there for her to go join her friends. I wouldn't expect to be paid back but would accept it if she insisted that she did.

Yes of course, or give her a loan she can pay back in affordable lumps.

Ah! I bought my first house and became financially independent at 23. I totally agree that there is value in feeling the pinch for a few years, it really does make you grounded and allows gratitude for the easier times!

I would absolutely help her with the holiday. She deserves to enjoy her twenties and the company of her good friends.

Yes

If you can afford it, then yes I would. Mid-20s can be a magical, care free child free time and memories of those holidays have sustained me through sleepless nights and the chaotic yet mundane toddler days and, now I’ve got teens, it’s those friends I still message and reminisce with.

100% I would. When my best friend lived on the other side of the world my parents paid for me to go there for their 30th birthday and it meant the absolute world.

Absolutely

No. Not at the age she is.

If you can afford it, I would, but I'd say it was her Christmas and birthday present for that year. And is a one-off.

My DS bought a house by himself at 28 and I absolutely would help out in this situation. He doesn't earn a huge amount but manages to budget. I would perhaps suggest that they save up what they can for spending money but you offer to pay for the holiday. You can make it a Christmas/birthday present if you don't want your DD to think she can just get handouts as and when.

If you have other children- will you also be giving them the exact same amount of money?

I would but I would make sure I gave any of my other children the same amount to make sure it’s fair

Yes I would.

Yes. I’d dress it up as a birthday treat (am assuming DD will also turn 30 this year if it’s a uni friend?)