Why do men hate women so much?

[growingsideway]

I’m on the larger side, a size 18. Walking back from work with my headphones in and on my phone and a guy leans out of his car window (passenger side) in slow moving traffic, barks at me like a dog and calls me a fat bitch. Him and his mates in the car then crack up at it and find themselves absolutely hilarious as they’re crawling along next to me.

I know it’s silly to be so upset by it because it’s such a silly thing for them to do, but they took me by surprise and gave me a fright and I just don’t get it. Why are men like this?

And I am bitter. I am angry and I am loud.

I am all those things for you.

I have said no to all of them. I don't want it.

99% of sexual offenders are men

In my life I have been helped, while being harassed, by two stranger men. One is now my friend. Was a stranger, now a friend. Because he asked one question, “you alright?”.

Men, do as good as that bloke.

When I mention male harassment now, he looks confused. I always say, “but we met because you stood up for me”. And he assumes other men do. Poor, sad, deluded boy that he is. He just thinks men stand up. They don’t, the vast majority.

My DD has one shining light 15 yo male friend. He walks her home, he looks after her, he takes her to the office if she’s sick, he waits for her when she’s delayed. He’s funny, kind and interested.

He’s gay and raised by lesbians.

It’s possible for teenaged boys to be great. If they are gay, and raised by women.

Thank goodness she has him.

im Sorry that’s happened to you. People can be so mean

I absolutely guarantee my son is a 'good man', he's 19, and is on his second girlfriend. He didn't have sex with his first girlfriend, I know this because he had a long conversation with me about how far to go with his first girlfriend and how they could speak about mutual consent and what they were both happy with.

He was so concerned with not transgressing any boundaries he was almost scared of sex. They didn't have sex and he certainly would not have been happy about a non-mutual situation.

My husband is also a good man.

Neither of them use pornography, they realise how harmful it is to women. And they like women. They don't see women as lesser, and neither did my father. It wasn't until I was quite old and out in the world that I realised that men didn't see women as I thought they did, because I was brought up by a father that didn't objectify or lessen women, I always absolutely thought I was the equal of any man.

And I didn't realise the world didn't agree with me until I was well into my 20s and working in the City.

I got through my teenager years and University without ever really experiencing this (despite having a mother that took me to Greenham Common as a child), I honestly didn't realise the world was as it is. I thought men saw me as an equal until I realised that not everyone had been brought up in the same way, and they didn't! (See also Northerns, as a Northern woman in the City in the 90s I was blown away by the parochial attitudes of apparently 'well educated' people).

I find myself asking who is raising these boys that turn into the kind of men that think it’s ok to harass girls and women. We are going wrong somewhere. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you know that it’s a them issue and that you are perfect as you are. Some people are just a*s.

And as a heterosexual woman, I've had relationships with two bad men, two a bit useless and two really good men, one was my first boyfriend and one is my husband. They were and are good (still friends with my first boyfriend 35 years on)

I'm not an idiot, I see harm where is exists and I can spot a dickhead a mile off (although the two bad men I had relationships with caught me by suprise, because of my upbringing I'd never seen abusive patterns, I didn't recognise it, I didn't stay with either for long though and they were both within a short period of time, I've also taught my daughter the signs to spot).

I don't want to NAMALT, and I think that internet pornography has utterly ruined a large demographic (my youngest brother and oldest nephew have come to me for help and spoken about the harm it's done them, they don't use any more but absolutely understand how it harmed them, their relationships and their view of women). But there are good men out there, I know quite a few and it's harmful to women and men to have such a catastrophic view of men.

It causes schisms and it's important to talk about why the world we live in causes these divisions. It doesn't have to be inherent and discarding men as 'bad' will only widen this. I think men as much as women are a product of their environment and it's really important to make that environment healthy, we're not the same but we are equal and I think that's key and we need to have an open and ongoing discourse with all the men in our lives.

Sorry you've had to experience that.. It's not silly to be upset by it, at the end of the day you were just minding your own business and had random strangers shouting abuse at you..

I honestly found it hurtful when I was first verbally abused.. I was a lot younger then though and unfortunately have been obese for the majority of my life so I was constantly harassed by grown up men and women who felt that I had to be told by them I was fat. After the first few years of high school I sort of desensitised to it which annoyed fellow students that had nothing better to do with themselves and so they then decided to get physically aggressive towards me.. Unluckily for them I was at a stage of my life where Id been battling multiple issues with my heath and childhood trauma and my mind had sort of walked off thenormal" reasoning so when some twit tried to trip me I threw her an uppercut and kicked her keg from under her.. Not my finest moment and I honestly have no memory of doing so I just recall massive crowd of teens shouting" Go on Fran" Safe Fran" at me afterwards and the last 2 years of high school went by without anyone starting...

I've had a few comments thrown my way since I moved to the house I'm in now as it's right by the comp so some kids try to get to me but I'm more bothered with people saying anything towards the way I walk from my disabilities but I rarely go out so I don't have to be anxious about it

Hope you're alright and know that they're the issue not you 💜xx

So sorry OP. Some men can be absolute assholes. (98% of sexual assaults are committed by men, ONS stats)

Looks like you are one of them.

I’m 55 years old and experienced this cat calling and insults since a teenager so it’s not a new thing it’s just that we didn’t have social media to share our experiences with each other. It’s always happened since the dawn of time, sadly women have never been safe when it comes to (some) men. As to why I’ve no idea. Genetics? instinct? because they can???? Who knows.

I’ve found shouting loudly, “Like I give a f* what you think of me!” is helpful. I practised it at home after a few of these, so it comes out automatically. Not if you’re in an isolated situation, obviously.

I think it’s not necessarily the parents, some of these ‘men’ have spent a large part of their formative years online viewing degrading porn and bile spouting from the likes of Andrew Tate and the president of the US! Even a member of the royal family thinks women are toys !!

The stats speak for themselves about men as a sex class.

Every 3 seconds a domestic abuse incident is reported to police
93% of defendants in domestic abuse cases are male

62% of women reported fear of public spaces due to men as a sex class

1 in 4 women will be raped or assaulted by a man in their lifetime

Women change their behaviour because they fear male violence

Women will take taxi’s home even if they would prefer to walk due to safety concerns about men as a sex class.

Women are advised not to walk home with earphones in to keep themselves alert to the threat of male violence

Women will hold their keys between their fingers as a weapon because they fear men as a sex class

Women cross the road if they sense a male is walking behind them at night.

Women are often subjected to being filmed in toilets and upskirted by men as a sex class and this is a growing problem.

Approx. 3 women per week die by suicide as a result of domestic abuse

98% arrested for sexual assault are male

79800 women across England and Wales are raped or sexually assaulted every year

94% of rape survivors are women

5 in 6 women who are raped don’t report it to the police

9 in 10 girls in schools, say sexist name-calling and being sent unwanted images of a sexual nature happens to them or their peers.

MEN AS A SEX CLASS POSE A DANGER TO WOMEN .

The stats speak for themselves about men as a sex class.

Every 3 seconds a domestic abuse incident is reported to police
93% of defendants in domestic abuse cases are male

62% of women reported fear of public spaces due to men as a sex class

1 in 4 women will be raped or assaulted by a man in their lifetime

Women change their behaviour because they fear male violence

Women will take taxi’s home even if they would prefer to walk due to safety concerns about men as a sex class.

Women are advised not to walk home with earphones in to keep themselves alert to the threat of male violence

Women will hold their keys between their fingers as a weapon because they fear men as a sex class

Women cross the road if they sense a male is walking behind them at night.

Women are often subjected to being filmed in toilets and upskirted by men as a sex class and this is a growing problem.

Approx. 3 women per week die by suicide as a result of domestic abuse

98% arrested for sexual assault are male

79800 women across England and Wales are raped or sexually assaulted every year

94% of rape survivors are women

5 in 6 women who are raped don’t report it to the police

9 in 10 girls in schools, say sexist name-calling and being sent unwanted images of a sexual nature happens to them or their peers.

MEN AS A SEX CLASS POSE A DANGER TO WOMEN .

Well yes, which is why speaking to our male children about this crap is so important.

I have one son, one of my sisters has three and she finds it so hard to have these conversations she hasn't. And it's her oldest son that's spoken to me about how porn has affected him, (my sister's husband is dead and when he was alive he wasn't a good man before anyone asks).

I realised before my children went to secondary school, that if I didn't have the conversation, some other fucker would. So I needed to direct the conversation by starting it hard as that may be.

I'm middle aged. I used to get abuse shouted at me by men in cars, once something thrown at me when I was 18. Also men used to approach me for my number or to make crude comments. One time I was sitting in a cafe when two strangers (blokes) decided to show me some porn. But when I reached a certain age it petered out and now it never happens (thank God!). The point is - men harass women they find attractive , or think they should find attractive... us oldies don't get the same treatment!

(Deleting as duplicate 🙄 )

men often hate women because we are what they want and they can’t get easy access to us like they see online in porn ( for us I mean easy sex for them )

women often don’t really need men anymore as such and they absolutely hate this even if they can’t articulate why they hate it

. In porn they see women meeting a bloke a having sex within mins 😂 they think that this is how it should be bless them and when it’s not they get angry and aggressive towards women because even the “ not so attractive “ women who the men think are beneath them won’t do that for them.

so they want to hurt and humiliate them in someway to feel big and manly

In my opinion and experience the majority of men are sex obsessed and have a fairly low opinion of women - most are just smart enough to hide it enough in order to get sex

( unlike the the ones in the op post )

guys who did that to the OP are bullies
they are the sort that will pick on someone who is weaker than them man or women to make them feel better

they wouldn’t dream of saying anything like that to a bloke who is bigger and looks like he would fight back and give then a good going over

At 42, I have experienced 31 years of street harassment. Not one episode was from a woman. No, not all men, but so many that it might as well be, especially after Gisele Pellicot. I have a rough theory that it is because for only the last few generations, we don’t ‘need’ them any more. Women have their own money (think of things like needing a male signature to have a bank account, women like my grandmother having to give up work when she married). We own our own property. We live independently. Being a single mum isn’t stigmatised like it used to be. Being a lesbian isn’t stigmatised like it used to be. Being single isn’t pitiful. Women choose to be ‘cat ladies’ in peaceful homes where they’re not cleaning male piss off the toilet. We can date or not date. I think a lot of men feel done out of an anachronistic 1950s household/work life where they were the authorities and priorities simply because they are males. They have to earn/be worthy of women partners/sex now. Then you add in the easy availability of graphic and degrading pornography... I think us just going around existing without needing or pandering to them creates a feeling of inferiority. Many men don’t understand that their feelings are a them-problem, so they throw them back at whatever woman evoked them, with rage. Like toddlers. Their insult is usually to imply that we aren’t desirable to them, when the actual reality is that many times they’re not even on our radar or in our league. Inferior feeling. ‘Fat bitch.’

I actually don’t know many decent men. There’s men in my life I love - my family members etc, but thinking critically about them, theyre not ‘one of the good ones’.

Some men you meet are better at hiding it but scratch the surface and they’re still misogynists. Men at work will happily talk over women but if a man speaks he pays attention etc. Also There’s a reason why most women do more housework/childcare.

Ultimately I just don’t think men see women as equal to them. I think it’s ingrained in the way we live and I feel like we’re going backwards. Andrew Tate etc making it more socially acceptable in certain groups to be out and out misogynist

See, I never got this, I have joked in the past, 'Am I not abusable???'

Never.

I possibly look dangerous, (not saying anyone who gets this from men is in anyway deserving of it or asking for it), I'm tall and angular & used to catwalk model. I think I have an anti-dickhead vibe, I'm not generally liked by men, probably because I've got no tits.

Mebbe that saved me.

And have been called 'manly' by more than one of the exes of my boyfriends.

These men feel prevalent because the decent men aren't shouting anything out of windows.

Think of the number of men you encounter in daily life who don't do this. The millions of men who aren't posting shit about women online.

The shit men force themselves into women's worlds by making a nuisance of themselves.

I had a boyfriend years ago who called me fat. I had a 24 inch waist and was 8 stone. And it wasn't just him. Random men in the street would tell me I was fat or ugly when I wasn't either.

They do it because some men genuinely believe that women only exist for their pleasure. They have no concept of women having inner worlds, lives, dreams or ambitions beyond attracting men and appealing to men. So when they don't find a woman attractive personally, they feel affronted that that woman has existed in their field of vision without being of any benefit to them.

Equally, they do it to attractive women who they conclude (through their own insecurities or inadequacies) wouldn't be interested in them. Then they are affronted that that woman has existed in their field of vision without considering them as a sexual partner even when it's a random woman just living her life who has passed them by in the street. So they decide to bring her down a peg or two by telling her she's fat/ugly and no one would want to shag her anyway.

These are the men you see posting online. Usually criticising a woman for her appearance (too thin, too fat, too muscular, too toned) or her achievements and saying things like, "Men don't find abs attractive," or, "Men aren't interested in women with PhDs."

Like every time women do anything, their only consideration should be, "Will men find this attractive?"

In reality, the men who do this are telling you everything about their own insecurities and sense of inadequacy and not saying anything at all about you.

Agreed.