Why do men hate women so much?

[growingsideway]

I’m on the larger side, a size 18. Walking back from work with my headphones in and on my phone and a guy leans out of his car window (passenger side) in slow moving traffic, barks at me like a dog and calls me a fat bitch. Him and his mates in the car then crack up at it and find themselves absolutely hilarious as they’re crawling along next to me.

I know it’s silly to be so upset by it because it’s such a silly thing for them to do, but they took me by surprise and gave me a fright and I just don’t get it. Why are men like this?

what are you saying then?

Are you ignoring the terrible statistics of male violence and assault towards women and girls and focusing on the low level of violence and assaults women cause towards men?

Nope. Absolutely not. I just dont agree with the premise that me hate women as though that's a fact. I have come across a lot of men like that. But plenty more who arent

Re. Pull the pig - there is an article by a fat/plus sized blogger called Steph Yeboah on her very sad experience with that.

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/pull-a-pig-dating-pranks

I dated a guy briefly who has a subconscious hate for women. I didn’t know it until I stayed at his house for a weekend, but he listened to all those red pill podcasters and had the audacity to play their podcasts when I we there! (Never saw him again after that)

Well he had randomly said “it’s not fair because men aren’t objectified the same way women are”. At the time clearly it didn’t really click what he was saying, but now I see he was showing such twisted jealousy towards women. I did say to him at the time - do you also envy how often women are used, abused and raped by men?

Honestly now looking back, the whole statement was so perverse and was a huge red flag.

It is almost like some men are jealous of the attention and money that they feel women can obtain from men based on looks ( which is partly why they hate OF models despite using their services) but does that not mean they actually like men then??

The way they demean women to impress their bros and pick women based on who will impress their (male) friends, would suggest so.

In that particular guys case he was a business man and almost quite deferential
when I heard him speaking to other men in his industry, but he had this superior angry, controlling attitude towards women. I remember him proudly telling me he told this woman to “pipe down” basically in a meeting. I can’t see him speaking to a man like that.

I can't deny what you've experienced Op. I don't think all women go through it and I'm pretty sure the men in my family don't hate women..it would be very apparent if they did. Violence against women and girls is a massive problem. Blanket statements about men hating women don't really help us to understand the situation though.

I do think that a lot if the problem is that historically men have been in charge. Women were not considered full humans ( in the legal sense as much as any) until extremely recently. They still aren’t in much of the world.
So now the balance has tipped a bit in our favour they can't handle it, because even though things feel more equal now we are absolutely steeped in male entitlement as the default.
So there has always been sexism and misogyny but in my grandpas day i think men generally were more courteous. They could be gracious because we were in our place, and many men felt a responsibility to take care of women.
The blatant aggression, violent porn (choking during sex, ejaculating in faces etc) and calling women cunts in public is a reaction to the sense of losing some perceived power.
I wouldn’t assume any man in my life would never behave like the men in the OP.
I hope not.
I do find my husband to be less likely to join in with that kind of shit because he was alone in the world from a very young age, and experienced a lot of predatory behaviour from men himself.
He also had an abusive father who he is NC with, and is under no illusion about what many men can be like. I’d never swear to it though, because I just cant know. None of us can.

Absolute pricks.
I had heard of this ‘game’ when I was younger, and was wary of any man who approached me when out because I thought I would be very likely to be the pig in their eyes.
I’m glad you are so happy. I won too. DH has a heart of gold and thinks I am beautiful.

If never heard of it until then

My mates ripped him to bits-to the point the landlord (who was disgusted) almost called the police as he feared they would kill him

I hope his shitty kebab choked him

It really knocked my confidence-this 'game' should never be played with anyone

When you answer back they don't know how to react which can be humorous.
Make sure you are safe before hand first.

Some teens walked past me and one said 'Slag' I just stopped and said to his mate in a surprised and confused voice 'How did he know that!!!Who told him?' This was ages ago and it still makes me laugh when I think of the look of confusion on their face.
Another time some shouted 'Fat arse', to be fair they were right, and again I just confused the fuck out of them by saying " Come on lads, its big but is it Kardashian big?'

The insults are designed to hurt and decades ago they would have but my thinking is why do I give a shit about these comments when they don't know me, I dont know them and its just meaningless nonsense!

My dd innocently called her dad love and he snapped don’t call me love, I’m not a love as if it was quite an insult to be called love, woman are love.
Of course he couldn’t quite put why he was so uncomfortable with it into words.

I can't remember who wrote it but it really struck me at the time -

"Testosterone is a hormone of hierarchy."

Low-status men, who feel they're at the bottom of the heap among males, try to convince themselves that at least they're superior to women. Or, often, people from other races. People who like themselves and their lives don't put down random strangers.

Its right to challenge a stereotype its harmful.
Its definitely not all men.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Nobody should be treated like that. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Sadly, you’re right that no one can really know about anyone, particulaly men (though I do trust my DH), my DM had absolutely no idea that my F was an abuser, and it devastated her to find out.

Granted, this was extreme and thd majority of women won’t find out something so awful about their partner as this, but we see on MN constantly the number of men who turn out not to be the person they appeared to be. Because so many people hide who they really are ultimately.

No woman should suffer thus vile behaviour from men. What is the solution?

I suspect men like this are the same ones who also bully other men when they think they can get away with it.

But this kind of harassing behaviour comes from men a hundred times more often than it comes from women.

Yep, exactly this.

The Not My Nigels are embarrassing themselves. 😑

'It's definitely not all men.'

But it's ALWAYS MEN.

Massively depends on where you live, in my experience. In middle-class small towns you can go years without random harassment from strangers. In other places it might be happening on a monthly or weekly basis. I expect there are places (thankfully nowhere I've lived) where you can expect to experience it daily.

I had some cunt girl shout fat arse at me out of a car. I also had men throw eggs at me out of a car. The eggs fucking hurt

I’m sorry you feel this way. I don’t deny your experience of men is not real but it’s not mine.

Solutions?
Believe women.
Tougher punishment for antisocial behaviour.
Research into treatment of antisocial males.
?

Do you not think the guys that did this to op aren’t someone’s beloved son or brother and they likely wouldn’t have thought it of them.

in my expierence of working with teens, young adults and families behaviour is learned and get passed down to the next generation to carry on. The link can be broken but often the pattern carries on.

Im sure that a lot of the blokes that shout out abuse have been bullied at home or have witnessed DV and it os their normal life.
Of course I cant back that up,it is just an an observation I have made.

Objectively not all men are like that, but those were, and I’m so sorry OP.

It is very much not you, it’s them. If you’d been skinny they have mocked you, if you’d been ginger, or tall. They picked a random thing to target you for, it could have been anything, it says nothing at all about you, and how you look.

Unfortunately, reducing women in any way they can is what some inadequate men do to make themselves feel powerful, in a world where they’re otherwise insignificant.

Put it behind you, you’ll never come across them again.

Men being the cuntier sex class isn’t a stereotype. It’s backed up by statistics. Of the violent and sexual crimes that occur, 98% are committed by men. If your - and the rest of the Whataboutery Wendy’s - problem in all of that is the omission of the word ‘some’ then you need to take a good look at yourself.