Difference in how colleagues are being treated

[sickofbeingjudged]

One of my colleagues was sent home this week due to period cramps and feeling unwell.

I’ve mentioned to my manager that I feel really unwell - my period, I think I’ve got a mild flu, I’m exhausted and really lightheaded. I was told to get a drink of water and crack on. AIBU to think this is unfair?

That's not a good thing, it's saying if you're being like that then go home. She won't be getting paid.

That’s not a thing - you have a legal right to self certify for seven calendar days. You need to inform your manager so you aren’t AWOL but they don’t give you permission.

No they won’t, that’s not legal. Employment law is very clear. If you are ill, be an adult and tell them that. You aren’t a child waiting to go home.

Are you one of those people who are known for trying it on?

As a manager I have never told anyone to go home. If someone feels too unwell that’s on them to tell me they need to go. Otherwise when doing return to work paper work they could use that as they were sent home rather than they went home sick.

Urgh, presenteeism is a scourge.

What happens if you call in sick in the morning, do you still need 'permission'? Because I'd be using that way out whenever I might need it.

Is permission ever granted to anyone else?

Nobody needs permission. They just let their manager know they are too ill to work and then leave.

In any normal adult workplace, yes. But in this one they get a disciplinary for doing that.

I do understand there may be minimum staffing requirements (care, teaching etc) but then they should be more consistent.

No, they don’t. Because they can’t. Workers have rights.

You should tell your employer your not feeling well and that you’ll need to go home.

You dont know she was "sent" home

If youre ill you dont mention it. You tell them youre self certifying and go home.

If it went to tribunal theyd be destroyed. Legally you can self certify sickness, you may need to ask for leave but you tell them youre sick.

And if you have anemia or possible anemia and are too ill to work on your period leave and send in a Drs note.

If you take excessive sick they can look at attendance management but they cant tell you, you cant be ill and go home sick.

So if youre ill say. Im ill i need to go home

I work in this kind of place now, I don’t think my face fits. I’m not one of those to kiss arse or pretend these people are my friends. I’m pleasant and friendly and do my job well but I think it bothers them that I’m not ever going to be ‘friends’ with any of them if that makes sense. In my case it means I’m treated very differently but if I need to go home I’m firm. If I need to stay off due to illness I’m firm.

In my place of work they want you to make the decision and say you need to go home. But you will be 'encouraged' to say you need to go if necessary.

This!

God I wish that was true!!

Most employers still use the Bradford scale. For us if we have 3 instances of sick leave in a 12 months,you get an warning, if you're off again in the next 6 months you get a written warning, and god forbid one more and it's dismissal.

I am one of those people who has turned up to work whilst absolutely not in a fit state to work (let's just say prior to work I was looking up funeral planning for myself). Why? Because unfortunately due to my long term SMI and unfortunately also being very ill with COVID i had 3 absences. I was told any more could result in disciplinary or potentially losing my job. So I went in. And in the end THEY decide to send me home. So when it came to the inevitable meeting with HR and my area manager I was at least able to try and argue I had done everything I could to attend but work themselves decided I was too ill to be there.

The other crap thing about retail, especially currently is that many places are running skeleton staff, literally the bare minimum. So let's say I was closing, if I called in sick and no cover then I get blamed cos they may have to close the shop early (and therefore lose money). And if there is only one other person on, as there often is later, that one person cannot be on their own in the shop. So if needed to go home sick they would have to get authorisation from our area manager to be able to close early.

It's great that for many occupations this isn't a thing that happens but in reality, especially when you're in job with no company sick pay, its not just as simple as saying "I'm ill I'm going home"

How would you know?

If you feel unwell and need to go home, just say, your manager isn't psychic. Your colleague might have explicitly said 'I need to go home'.

OP says this would be her first sock absence. It’s not about the Bradford Scale. It’s about whether you need ‘permission’ to leave when you are ill. You don’t.

You don't know the other persons full circumstances so you cannot know if they are being better treated than you or if they are making a 'reasonable adjustment' required by law etc. Equality is not about equal treatment its about levelling out disadvantage.

However if you are unwell you should tell them you have to leave as you are too sick to continue to work. Or book off sick for the day if you need too and self certify. You need to start managing your manager and not letting them make healthcare decisions about you.

I would never use my period as a reason to go home.
I think instantly some people have the view that you’re not actually ill or that you’ll use the excuse every month.

See it from their POV - one person said they’re unwell because they’ve got their period, so they get sent home.
All of a sudden another person says they also feel unwell because of their period.
It instantly sounds like you’re using the same excuse to be sent home (a few days before Xmas too).

I would not have mentioned my period (especially if another employee had already done the same) but I would have said about the flu as that is contagious.

I would have gone into the office a 2nd time and say I’m really not feeling well is it ok if I go home.

You do realise that plenty of people don’t get sick pay right? Hourly paid workers in retail, hospitality, and many other industries don’t get paid if they’re not at work. SSP doesn’t kick in until you’ve been ill for three days.

Yep, I would think how busy you are at the time would be the biggest factor. If it’s quiet & deadlines are met you’re more likely to be sent home.

We wouldn't be 'Sent home', we have to decide if we wish to go home or see how we go. As absence is heavily monitored most try to plough through and infect everyone else as over 10 days in a year means SSP. That is discretionary too.

Do you know exactly the conversations that were had between said colleague and your manager?
Just because you were told or maybe heard the conversation where they were sent home you can't be sure there wasn't more to it. I'm sure you aren't called over to supervise every discussion.

If you want to go home sick, say so. Say what you want with words. Why do people believe that thinking out loud makes others fuss over them and guess what they want?
Many people push on with minor ailments. I don't think I've ever gone home when experiencing period pain apart from when I was at school and looked for any excuse not to be there (and I used to get it pretty bad in my 20s).

I hate when people fish for a response and then cry about it when they don't get it. The take home message is use your words like an adult to express exactly what you're fishing for.