Difference in how colleagues are being treated

[sickofbeingjudged]

One of my colleagues was sent home this week due to period cramps and feeling unwell.

I’ve mentioned to my manager that I feel really unwell - my period, I think I’ve got a mild flu, I’m exhausted and really lightheaded. I was told to get a drink of water and crack on. AIBU to think this is unfair?

Then you're not that ill. What if you started vomiting and diarrhoea but someone else had already left? What if you came down with a migraine? If you're ill you're ill, regardless of someone else going home already

I don't know why you just didn't phone in sick in the first place instead of expecting your manager to send you home! You're an adult who is able to use the phone to say you're too unwell to come to work.

You're an adult, it's not school, you say "I'm really unwell, sorry, I'm going to have to go home and take the afternoon as sick leave".
When I've been a manager I'd never say "go home", I'd give sympathy, make a cup of tea and say something like "look after yourself and let me know if you need to wfh or can't come in". I think it's weird she was 'sent home" tbh, with grown adults I'd expect them to know their own abilities/limits and act accordingly. Anyone saying they feel ill, I'd more see as them warning me they might be coming down with something or just making conversation/having a moan or explaining they might not give their A game today. I'd never imagine a world where I'd want/seek or follow a boss telling me to go home. I make that decision for myself and expect anyone in my team to do the same. If it's happening regularly or inappropriately, that's what the sickness absence policy is for...

They're not a medical professional, they legally can't make that decision. You do, you self certify or a GP can confirm you're too ill to work if it's longer. Go read your workplace absence policy, go look up legal rights related to workplace sickness and absence on the acas website and be an adult. Call in sick on the morning next time. They legally can't force you to attend if you're sick, regardless of whether you're at home or at work. As someone said, if you literally sh*t yourself in the office, or began projectile vomiting on your desk, or passed out then your boss wouldn't "assess whether you're ok to be there". Stick up for your rights, politely say "nope, so sorry, too ill and heading home, suspect I'll be off tomorrow too" then grab things and get home. Or don't, and you'll just have to crack on. I get anaemia on my period, so I take iron tablets form the chemist and it stops, so do also just grab some from the supermarket and that will likely sort it. You don't need a GP for it, unless there's something else going on.

OP is a nightmare. Imagine trying to manage her?!? 😂😂😂

You posted 21 times on this thread today while “working”.

Maybe you’re just seen as a bit of a piss-taker in general?

It’s like employees are no longer expected to be glued to their desk without a single moment away

Well, working at your desk is your job I would imagine? Not posting on a forum on the internet.

And my manager is happy with my performance

Is this the same manager who seemingly has favourites?

There’s a “single moment” and there’s a litany of posts on a website, some quite lengthy. It really appears like you’ve spent a very long time on Mumsnet today while you were meant to be working.

You are an adult. Go home sick of you're ill and take a sick day.

If you say so

Both can be true.

Yes I know.

In my old work place, if you went in and then said at lunchtime that you were going home as you were too unwell to work, then the whole day would be counted as a work day as you had came in for half the day. So not sick leave. What’s the policy at your work?

Got to say though that there is no way I could have spent most of the day on forums. Too busy!

I didn’t spend “most of my day” on here.

Is that it? What about the first half of my post?

As I’ve said, I’ve never taken sick leave so I don’t know

Well if you categorically know that in no uncertain terms as you have access to her personal file and medical records then you may feel like there is a disparity but without that ‘you should be mindful there may well be something going on that you know nothing about

ultimately though why a colleague has taken time off sick is none of your business

How are you feeling now? Maybe you could take a sick day tomorrow? Forget about your colleague. You are hearing it second hand.

If you still feel bad tomorrow, just phone in and tell them you need a sick day, you have three days to recover (if you’re Mon-Fri).

It’ll be your first sick day so don’t feel guilty.

Good spot. But come on, let's be generous. Assuming 1hr for lunch 12-1 that does bring it down to the much more reasonable 15 times in working hours 🤭

Yeah, she's one of the ones I'd tell to have a glass of water and some paracetamol, not one of the ones I'd say to go home 🙄

Since you know she is healthy. Is there a possibility that she is going through a miscarriage that your manager knows about that the rest of you don't know. Or even an abortion with heavier than normal bleeding?

I know someone who was continually asked if they would like to go home in 10 different ways, during a miscarriage. Before she gave up and went home. She was healthy otherwise. I don't know exactly how it transpired at the workplace, I only found out through her and how annoyed she was with how her manager delt with it.

I met her in a baby loss event.

Are you 15 yo?

Makes me laugh how people say we shouldn’t talk about periods to a manager, I wish I had that luxury!
I had to discuss mine in a sickness capability meeting with 2 managers and HR… that was fun
people probably saw me going home for “period pain” and thought I was skiving. I wasn’t

Yes I agree. That sounds like a pissed off manager to me