Difference in how colleagues are being treated

[sickofbeingjudged]

One of my colleagues was sent home this week due to period cramps and feeling unwell.

I’ve mentioned to my manager that I feel really unwell - my period, I think I’ve got a mild flu, I’m exhausted and really lightheaded. I was told to get a drink of water and crack on. AIBU to think this is unfair?

If you 'mentioned' it your manager probably didn't get the message. You need to say you are too ill to stay at work if that is the case.

Yeah, It could well be favouritism. Do other colleagues notice? Is there HR?

Agree. Years ago, at work, I had a female boss, who believe it or not said words to the effect that having bad periods is not a reason, not to come into work. I would be surprised if she would utter such sentiments to day, however, I used to suffer really painfully periods, and just would say I was ill, if I ever needed to take a day off, for that particular reason.

But you didn't say you were unwell and needed to go home.

They asked why you looked miserable and you said it was your period or whatever.

I think managers generally rely on people telling them what they need to do.

If as you say you look miserable but 'soldier on' expecting your manager to TELL you to go home, you sound like an insufferable martyr who'll then sit around complaining you're being treated differently when it's your responsibility as an adult employee to assess that you're too unwell to work and take action.

Not sit around complaining that your manager didn't tell you to go home when you gave the impression you could work.

She didn’t say she needed to go home either

You have to have a legitimate reason, you can’t just say you don’t feel like working today. But you self certify. If someone says to me they’re too ill I’m not going to say ‘no you’re not’. If someone is doing it a lot then there’s policies for reviewing things.

That you know of.

Just take responsibility and say you're going home if you feel that bad.

Is this today when you're also posting on MN?

I get ‘sent home’ also. I have to go to my manager and tell him what’s wrong. He then sends me home or tells me to take a 5 minute break and see how I feel.

What happened exactly with her then?

You're an adult. If you're too unwell to work you tell your manager that you're going home and why. It's not school,.they haven't got to ring your mum

As an aside, I used to manage people, and my own boss told me never to send anyone home ill. He said if they ended up with excess sick leave they might try to blame me for making them go off sick!
There are other ways to show support, but ultimately it should be the employee's own decision: tell me you are too unwell to do your job properly and that you are going home to recover.

This.

She was sat at her desk looking pretty fed up, the manager asked her what was wrong and she said “I can’t really be bothered, I’ve got my period” and the manager said “if you feel like that go home”

Where do you work?

That doesn’t sound like favoritism or even support, that sounds like a pissed off manager saying well if you can’t be bothered then you may as well not be here.

Yet when other people feel ill they’re told to crack on? It’s favouritism

You sound like you have a real victim complex.

Not in my experience, you either get sick pay or you don’t

That is completely different to your first post! That's not favouritism or treating her better. That's a very negative reaction.

This, why would you expect your manager to send you home. If you’re too unwell to work, tell them you need to leave and go home.

Are you an adult? If you are then it’s not for your boss to play parent, you decide if you need to go home and tell them. Stop worrying about what other people are doing and take ownership of your own health and wellbeing

We’re supposed to ask if we’re here, so they can make the decision

The decision? If you aren’t well enough to work you go home. Doesn’t need a managerial decision. Same as if you feel a bit rough but are capable of staying. You make the decision, not anyone else.

It feels like we aren't getting the full picture here

But you didn’t ask, you just said you felt a bit rubbish. If you need to go home, go home. How can anyone else possibly know if you’re too unwell to be at work.