Difference in how colleagues are being treated

[sickofbeingjudged]

One of my colleagues was sent home this week due to period cramps and feeling unwell.

I’ve mentioned to my manager that I feel really unwell - my period, I think I’ve got a mild flu, I’m exhausted and really lightheaded. I was told to get a drink of water and crack on. AIBU to think this is unfair?

No one is saying just leave - they are saying you need to tell your manager you are not fit for work and will be going home sick.

If you have ‘a mild flu’, why are you in work? Aren’t you infectious? 🙄🙄

Just go home if you’re not well

You dont need your manager's permission to go home because you aren't fit for work. In such a situation just inform them that you are going home because you don't feel well enough to remain in work.

They can’t do that, as long as you can prove you’re sick. Go home and see a gp, get a certificate.

that aside, I’ve never heard anyone say I have a mild flu who didn’t just have a cold and want to make a fuss about it.

You won't do yourself any favours by claiming favouritism. Just go home if you are unwell. Don't tell them why, just make the decision.

“Disciplinary action would be taken”

If I was your manager I’d take disciplinary action against you for being on MN all day when you should be working.

She told her manager she can't be bothered, who the told her to go home then. That's not favouring her.
You then said "oh I'm not great either" she'd probably had enough and thought for goodness stop copying. Are you very young?

Yabu. You are an adult. You decide if you need to go home due to illness.

Warning - this may be harsh. Feel free to ignore if you're feeling fragile but...

Maybe she behaved like a adult taking responsibility for her own and her colleagues' health, while you sat around like a martyr waiting for people to notice while you spread your germs all round the office.

I presume your line manager thought that you would behave like an adult as well if you were that ill.

I have staff members who always go the extra mile and work late when needed, without any fuss, for the benefit of their clients. When they are ill I will always tell them to go home and get better. So in a way it all breaks even. But then there are those that work to the letter, sometimes less, so I can't be as flexible with them.

Same here. As an adult I make the decision on whether I am well enough to work not them. Unless you are constantly having to go home it shouldn't be an issue

You heard one conversation between your manager and your colleague. You have no idea what other conversations they might have had, or what your manager knows about your colleague’s health that you don’t know. You don’t know if your colleague, for example, has endometriosis, but your boss probably knows something like that.

Essentially, if you think you’re being discriminated against or victimised you need to discuss that with your employer. Sitting on Mumsnet complaining isn’t going to help you, especially when you refuse to accept that it’s possible that YABU.

When I worked in a nursery we were not allowed to just leave we would have to ask as well. Some places are like that so I believe you OP. But time off for period pain for two members of staff if taking the piss. I would be telling you to take some pain killers

Unfortunately, hardly anyone is super nice.
You have to be assertive.

I came down with Norovirus once at work. I told them I was going home but even so puked all up the office's front door. I was so ill I had to leave it and just go. I did apologise when I went back and HR were very sympathetic as they realised what had happened. If I had been made to hang around and wait to ask permission to leave the consequences would have been much worse in carpeted offices with regular visitors coming in.

If you've got "mild flu" you shouldn't be in the office anyway. Regardless of anything else. If you're unwell, and unable to work because of it, tell them you're going off sick and going home. You don't have to be "sent" home, it's not school.

It’s not just the pain. It’s how it’s making me feel on top of the other bug I’ve got

I know what you mean, OP. Not the same situation, but I resent the fact that I have to pick up a lot of family slack for my FIL (whom I do love, don't get me wrong at all!) even when I'm not feeling well. I work full time and have a side hustle as well. My SIL, (ie my FIL's daughter) does absolutely nothing to help her father, and also is unemployed. The family coddle her no end and I am getting increasingly tired of it.

it happened on different days. I’d never ask to leave if someone else already has.

You sound like a bit of a whinger.
Get on with your work or go home, but please, for the love of God, stop moaning.

The difference might be in the way it was put to the manager. Maybe the first person said ‘I’m feeling unwell, I’m going to have to go home’ and made definitive statement. They can’t prevent someone going home sick.
Sounds like perhaps you’ve been more passive and said you feel unwell hoping that they would tell you to go, which isn’t how it works. You tell them.

that’s not how it works in my workplace. At least try to read my replies.

I agree with this. The way i see it is that I'm a 40 year old woman, and if I feel too unwell to be in work I'm going home. I'm not a child and i certainly wouldn't be asking permission.

I don't think migraine is a good example. I'd happily take vomiting over a migraine most days 🤷‍♀️ In fact I've found some migraines much worse than giving birth. Just because someone has the 'same' ailment doesnt mean the impact is the same. Hare for employers to know who is taking advantage and also they dont need to disclose info from occupational health etc. I get cramps etc but my friend (same work place) regularly faints. Same thing but totally different consequences.