Difference in how colleagues are being treated

[sickofbeingjudged]

One of my colleagues was sent home this week due to period cramps and feeling unwell.

I’ve mentioned to my manager that I feel really unwell - my period, I think I’ve got a mild flu, I’m exhausted and really lightheaded. I was told to get a drink of water and crack on. AIBU to think this is unfair?

I had a colleague that reported to me that had to go home / work from home when her periods were bad. What the rest of the office didn’t know was that she has adenomyosis - which is the extreme form of endometriosis and was physically incapable of driving in, and on some occasions even functioning, during her period. To others it no doubt looked like a younger woman simply not able to ‘get on and deal with it’ as those of us who started work in the 1980s had to, especially as she looked fine. But she had a medical condition. Your colleague may also have a reason.

As for ‘mild flu’ surely you should either be off or be working from home instead of being in and potentially infecting others?

Bottom line is you don’t know your colleague’s medical history. She went home ill. If you’re not well, ask to go home.

Depends really on the lightheadedness, are you able to drive or move about safely? If you feel like that all the time you should really stay at home and just rest.

Sickness in the workplace and the need to be off varies enormously amongst individuals, most people will have experience of this.
I've worked with people who have extensive sickness episodes with ailments that other people would go to work with.
I'm not talking about serious or infectious sickness, although the term serious is subject to varying perceptions.
No different treatment either way, it leads to huge resentment amongst staff.
OP, if you don't feel well enough to be at work, you should go home

I think it’s connected to possible anaemia and I’ve got a GP’s appointment for it, but around my period and when I get ill it gets really bad. I sit at my desk and feel it.

We don’t have a choice

Are you in the UK? Your workplace is not above employment law.

Keep careful notes of this OP and see if there is a pattern.

I voted you’re being unreasonable. My view as a grown woman is that if I’m unwell enough to work I will say so and that is that - I don’t understand all this hint dropping etc waiting to be sent home.

If you're well enough to 'soldier on' then you don't need to go home sick. If that's the impression you're giving your manager then I'm not surprised he hasn't told you to go home. Unless you're saying that you told him you needed to go home and he refused - in which case you should have left because it's not his decision.

If your co-worker is telling him she's not fit to be in work, that's not favouritism, that's acting on the facts.

If you feel too unwell to work you need to tell your manager and let them send you home. Your response wasn’t clear enough.

I can’t speak for the odd response to your colleague, but your manager isn’t a mind reader. They will assume you are well enough to work unless you make it clear that you aren’t. It all sounds a little bit childish, some clear communication is what is needed.

Well the other worker is currently laid down with a hot water bottle and blanket while I’m working! So I think that says it all

Oh yes, experienced this with managers ‘friends’ doing whatever they liked, & being told can’t book leave until those with children have decided what they want. Don’t work there now, still feel bitter about it.

Yes, it is unfair, and sounds like a crap environment. But you need to be assertive. "I'm suffering X and not feeling well enough to carry on working, so I'm going home. I will call you tomorrow morning if I'm still unwell." You are legally entitled to self-certify sickness for up to seven days, your manager can't force you to 'crack on'.

Yep, and you should get sick pay or unpaid leave if you have used up your sick days, and maybe a "health/well-being interview" if you are off a lot, but sick is sick, you just tell your manager and go home, unless you are in some nursing/social care role etc. where you have to wait for staff to replace you.

You have no idea if that woman is healthy, what reason she was actually sent home for or what medical information management has about her.
Just because theyve said "she's got bad period pain" as the reason to nosy colleagues doesnt mean thats the case or extent of it.

No, you can’t just leave, but it’s not asking for permission. If you aren’t well enough, you can go. If, in the case of a nursery, that means the adult:child ratios are off then the manager would have to call someone in. I’d be prepared to wait until someone got there, but if you aren’t well enough to work you shouldn’t be supervising children anyway (or passing on your bugs).

It was just an example really. It’s a bit like would you rather? I’ve suffered with both and I’m not sure which I would pick. I just feel a bit bad for OP because there does seem to be a bit of a disparity. It wasn’t meant as a dig at someone that genuinely suffers from migraines.

If you are too ill to work you say so and go. Whether others are ill too is irrelevant.

It’s how the law works. Your manager can’t just decide their own workers’ rights which are less than you are entitled to. Unless you aren’t in the U.K., but I feel that’s something you would have said by now in respinse to several people telling you that you have the right to go home if you are ill.

Yes, you do. You tell your manager you are unwell and so going home. Then you go. They won’t stop you and a disciplinary would not stick.

I'm reading that as your colleague being sent home because they couldn't be bothered (i.e. bad attitude), which will go badly in a performance appraisal.

Pull up your girl knickers, if you've been feeling poorly all week why are you in work?
Never liked martyrs in the work place or anywhere else for that matter especially if they are whiny with it.

Have you actually asked yet if you can go home? Or still just sitting there miserably?

I asked and was told no, I’m fine to be there. She asked and got told she could go home.

If you’ve told us what happened accurately, no, you didn’t ask. Your manager asked why you looked fed up, you said you felt rough. When did you ask? Also, again, don’t ask. Tell.