Difference in how colleagues are being treated

[sickofbeingjudged]

One of my colleagues was sent home this week due to period cramps and feeling unwell.

I’ve mentioned to my manager that I feel really unwell - my period, I think I’ve got a mild flu, I’m exhausted and really lightheaded. I was told to get a drink of water and crack on. AIBU to think this is unfair?

We are comprehensively not allowed to do that. The managers have made it clear that if we’re unwell we ask their permission to leave

Is this real? Office full of people moping, manager going around asking in turn why the long face? Everyone discussing their monthlies? Sounds like an 80s tv skit. Just go home if you're genuinely too ill to work. You're not at school.

I'm assuming that you are a grown adult, it's your responsibility to make a judgement about your own health. If you been the martyr all week, merrily spreading around your germs and looking miserable. I doubt that I would suggest you going home if I was your manager, your colleague probably had a more honest discussion about feeling unwell and asked to go home.

Is it a YTS OP?

There’s no legal way that can be enforced as far as I know. What would they do if you went home sick without asking (not sneaking off, you can’t do that, but after telling them you were going)? Nothing. Because they can’t.

Disciplinary actions would be taken

and you say you had your periods? You sound like a 15yo indeed.

Either you are genuinely unwell, and you go home. Periods can be bad enough you need to go and lie down.

Or you act professionally like an adult and you don't look so miserable.

I look how I look, I can’t change my face. She asked why I looked so miserable and I explained I’ve been poorly all week and got my period this morning and it’s just all making me feel like shit. Why is that suddenly wrong?

So have you asked?

They would be in very serious legal trouble if they tried to discipline someone for being ill! They wouldn't have a leg to stand on in a tribunal. They can require you to tell them you are leaving, but they cannot force you to stay. They have no medical training, they are not qualified to determine who is sick and who isn't.

Your workplace needs a union.

Ah OP, I think you need to advocate for yourself here. If you feel too unwell to work, tell your manager and go home. If you feel well enough to work, the attendance of your colleagues has nothing to do with you.

You'd have a case if you told your manager that you're too sick to work and they refuse to allow you to leave but that isn't what happened.

Act like a grown up and stop seeking permission.

ETA - as a manager my biggest pet peeve is workers saying they feel awful and hinting that they might not be able to work. I usually ask outright if they feel well enough to work and remind them that as professional adults it is their responsibility to decide if they are able to work that day. Your manager isn't your mam.

The managers response sounds more passive aggressive than sympathetic to me!

If you’re too unwell to work tell your manager and go home.

How do you know the other woman is healthy?

If you’re too unwell to work then you’re too unwell to work. Tell your manager and if they say to work anyway then explain again you need to go home (not that you should have to).

If they still say no then escalate. They can’t force you to work when you’re unwell and they won’t get very far with disciplinary action over one sick day.

Do you have a HR department? You could always clarify your managers approach with them.

Because she delights in telling us!

So if someone was seriously unwell they would be disciplined for going home without permission?

Either you or your bosses are lying.

OP this is all very immature.

You have no idea about your colleague or their health.

You don’t get sent home or talk to your manager about your period.

There is no context here.

If you are ill say so and go home.

It is favouritism.
Same circumstances, different outcome.
Drink water and crack on? Not even, do you need a pain killer? Something hot? A lemsip? Ease some tasks? That if your manager cannot cope with both of you off.
But, you need to tell your manaher: sorry, I am ill, I need to ho home now.
No way they can come back saying oh drink a bit of water!
While sending others home...... ( I want to think your colleague told your manager she was leaving and to you that she was sent home...)

You're an adult. If you don't feel well enough to work you say you need to go home because you're unwell.

How? Under what law? Did you sign a contract with that in it? Even then illegal contracts arent enforceable. Adults don’t need permission to be too ill to work. In any case, if you’ve been like it all week you should have stayed at home. Çan’t stop that, can they?

This sounds more like she will need to watch herself for incoming disciplinary action. It does not sound like she was sent home sick.

If you are genuinely unwell, ask for sick leave. Sitting around with a face like a slapped arse and waiting for your manager to take pity is quite frankly, pathetic.

Did you tell them you are unfit for work?
If not, then why are you surprised that you were not "sent home"

Also - your colleague may have other issues that you are not aware of.

Sounds like she asked to go home. You were talking to the manager and said you weren't feeling well, did you say I think I should go home? They said crack on, thinking you were happy to carry on working. I think you have to say what you want. I want to/need to go home I'm not well.

Retail. You get warnings for sick and made feel guilty for ringing in sick.

They can’t give you an official warning for being ill. Workers have rights. Being sick a piss-taking amount, sure, but not just being sick. I think every work place tries to make you feel guilty for being off, but whether you do or not is on your own control.