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Just been told to remove my pronouns from my Teams profile

817 replies

Horrace · 18/12/2025 10:11

I'm weak 🤣
My manager just phoned me to say there has been some serious complaints made about me that he must urgently address.
I panicked.
In the Pronouns section of my Teams profile, I have

'Take a Wild Guess'

Its been there for a few years. Its finally been noticed and I've been told to take it down because it's made someone or more than one possibly, FEARFUL of me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
itsthetea · 18/12/2025 15:21

Well I have no idea what pronouns should be used for me

ideal world for me is everyone using they/them because in day to day life I don’t anyone’s sex is anyone’s business really

but since it’s such a hot topic I feel stating they/them might imply I somehow support people who see themselves as the opposite sex whereas I think it’s rather sad at best and I don’t want people to think I I support the blurring of sex boundaries in for example sport or changing rooms - because there is so much ideology in this

LiftAndCoast · 18/12/2025 15:22

justpassmethemouse · 18/12/2025 15:07

Okay great! So that would follow that you prefer they/them pronouns? Or other neo pronouns? 😊 Not telling you what you should or shouldn’t do, as I said, it’s your choice.

Hah. I honestly don't care. I used to work in the kind of environment where I was asked about it in meetings, and explaining my GC position might have caused trouble for me. When asked, I'd just say 'I don't mind, any, whatever you want'. It's not up to me how someone else perceives me.

HeadyLamarr · 18/12/2025 15:23

justpassmethemouse · 18/12/2025 15:13

Equivalent would be “What is your religious affiliation”, where atheist is an acceptable answer, as is agnostic.

No, the equivalent would be "Are you Christian, a heretic or an infidel?"

Because asking about gender identity requires subscribing to a specific set of beliefs.

"What's your gender identity? Cis or trans?" is something of a "do you still beat your wife? Yes or no?" question. If you reject the premise of the whole shebang, you cannot answer.

itsthetea · 18/12/2025 15:23

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 18/12/2025 15:20

In a professional setting, I wouldn't even bother to fill those fields out. If anyone complains, then I'll complain. It's discrimination on the grounds of an insane militant gender ideology.

I agree this is the far better line for Op to have taken -

jeffgoldblum · 18/12/2025 15:24

“Gender” is a ridiculous term used originally because certain people were too squeamish to use “sex” .nobody needs it , it has no value to most people and it’s particularly ironic and offensive that people who insist that we should bow down and accept their pronouns, feel absolutely confident in labelling the majority with terms against their will.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 18/12/2025 15:25

Horrace · 18/12/2025 10:23

Ive just left it blank.

I'm in my 50s, he is the same age as me. I laughed as he was telling me but he didn't smile once.

What about putting in "I/me". After all, they are the pronouns you use when referring to yourself.

JumpingPumpkin · 18/12/2025 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Skyellaskerry · 18/12/2025 15:30

HeadyLamarr · 18/12/2025 15:04

Millions of people do not have a gender identity. In fact, I suggest the vast majority of people don't.

I have a sex, and I have a personality. I don't have a gender identity because gender is an externally imposed set of societal expectations and I'm not accepting that nonsense as part of myself.

I don't have a soul either. Because I don't believe were are spiritual entities in a corporeal meat suit. I am my body, my body is me.

This reflects me too!

5128gap · 18/12/2025 15:31

@jumpingpumpkin you've made me properly laugh. If ever a couple of sentences hit the heart of the issue and encapsulated the absurdity its yours. Brava.

HeadyLamarr · 18/12/2025 15:32

Skyellaskerry · 18/12/2025 15:30

This reflects me too!

We can be rational human beings together! Mine's a g&T, what are you having?

Skyellaskerry · 18/12/2025 15:36

jeffgoldblum · 18/12/2025 15:24

“Gender” is a ridiculous term used originally because certain people were too squeamish to use “sex” .nobody needs it , it has no value to most people and it’s particularly ironic and offensive that people who insist that we should bow down and accept their pronouns, feel absolutely confident in labelling the majority with terms against their will.

Edited

Agree and many people still use gender and sex interchangeably.

SerendipityJane · 18/12/2025 15:37

Horrace · 18/12/2025 13:34

By leaving my pronouns blank, all colleagues will now have to take a guess at my pronouns.

Or do as I do, and not give a shiny shit about what you may (or may not) think you are, as long as you do the fucking job you are paid for.

Skyellaskerry · 18/12/2025 15:37

HeadyLamarr · 18/12/2025 15:32

We can be rational human beings together! Mine's a g&T, what are you having?

Mines a ginger kombucha cheers!

Horrace · 18/12/2025 15:38

whittingtonmum · 18/12/2025 15:20

The grievance could also be brought by the person who has complained already especially if behaviour persists. And if OP fancies the risk of that and later on heading to an employment tribunal to have her day in court by all means she can continue to display her current attitude and behaviour in the workplace.

Most people would consider this route unsatisfactory career progression but it depends what you value in life and work.

You seem to have my future career paved out for me 🤣.

OP posts:
jeffgoldblum · 18/12/2025 15:39

Skyellaskerry · 18/12/2025 15:36

Agree and many people still use gender and sex interchangeably.

They do ! , particularly in the USA.

EasternStandard · 18/12/2025 15:45

justpassmethemouse · 18/12/2025 15:07

Okay great! So that would follow that you prefer they/them pronouns? Or other neo pronouns? 😊 Not telling you what you should or shouldn’t do, as I said, it’s your choice.

No that wouldn’t follow. You’re imposing an ideology that not all women want. You’re better off listening rather than offending.

SerendipityJane · 18/12/2025 15:46

Skyellaskerry · 18/12/2025 15:36

Agree and many people still use gender and sex interchangeably.

Many people also believed the sub went round the earth which was 6000 years old.

They were wrong too.

whittingtonmum · 18/12/2025 15:46

Horrace · 18/12/2025 15:38

You seem to have my future career paved out for me 🤣.

Just pointing out that there are choices you can make in the workplace. That's entirely your decision.

ElectoralControversy · 18/12/2025 15:46

Plateofcrumbs · 18/12/2025 11:49

You can consider that as ideological.

But it doesn't follow that sharing your pronouns is ideological. I've mentioned various ways that it's useful that have no connection with gender beliefs whatsoever.

Given that all the evidence shows that women who have pointed out that they are women get treated worse than those who haven't ... it's not very useful for women is it?

AnSolas · 18/12/2025 16:17

Daygloboo · 18/12/2025 11:11

Maybe im thick but i dont get the argument. I didnt think trans people claimed that they were actually the opposite sex. I thought they claimed woman as a state of mind distinct from female as a biological fact. If sexual attraction has a biological basis how is that connected to identity as a state of mind.? Like i said, maybe i just dont get the argument.

Go read up on the male UK medical trained doctor who claims he is female and therefore has a right to request his NHS Employer to create an employment term in all actual female staffs contracts who share a shift to oblige them to undress with him in their changing room and to force them to remain in the room while he is undressing.

He was keeping track with a list of "bad women"

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5461133-sandie-peggie-vs-nhs-fife-health-board-and-dr-beth-upton-following-employment-tribunal-judgment-thread-60

Note the senior staff (her bosses) involved wanted to have a female staff member arrested by the police and up in court for saying no thank you...

And the ET judge thinks the implied contract term should stand.

Sandie Peggie vs NHS Fife Health Board and Dr Beth Upton, following Employment Tribunal judgment - thread #60 | Mumsnet

*Judgment was handed down on 8 December 2025:* *[[https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/6936ce28a6fc97b81e57436a/S_Peggie_v_Fife_Health_Boar...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5461133-sandie-peggie-vs-nhs-fife-health-board-and-dr-beth-upton-following-employment-tribunal-judgment-thread-60

Helleofabore · 18/12/2025 16:22

justpassmethemouse · 18/12/2025 14:51

I’m not sure you can not have a gender identity? Cis and trans are opposites and you’ll have to be one or the other, surely? Even an agender intersex person would have had male or female recorded on the birth certificate, so if they now identify as agender, that would fall under trans.

Either way, your gender identity is your decision and most people will be respectful and describe you as your prefer.

Edited

What is a 'gender identity'? Please give us an accurate and non-circular definition of what each gender identity is and how people know they have one ?

For instance:

No male person can ever live or experience life as a 'woman' or a 'girl'.

They can only ever experience life as a male person who believes they are a woman.

Even when they 'act' like a woman, they are acting as they believe a 'woman' should act. Which is fucking misogynistic when you unpick it!

Even if they are treated 'as a woman' by some people, they are being treated as a 'male who presents as a woman and believes they are a woman'. Because their every reaction is based on that. Not on them being female in any way.

But based on their own reaction developed over years of them reacting to the way they interact with society and themselves and how others interact with them while having a male body and a mind that processes stimuli in that male body.

Even when they have extreme body modifications, it is to be their own concept of what a female looks like to them. It is not what a female is.

They are still processing stimuli and making decisions based on the way they interact with society and themselves and how others interact with them while having a male body.

How can it be any other way?

The only way a person can experience life as a woman, is to have a female body, formed around the production of large gametes, even if it doesn't produce those and to navigate their life based on the decisions they and society makes that revolve around them having that body.

A male can conceptualise what it might be like to be a female, but that is all it ever is - their concept of being female.

They may do it because they don't feel they fit into how they conceptualise how a male person interacts with the world (ie. their own stereotypes around being male) or they do it because they want to be seen as a female (using their own stereotypes of how a female navigates life). It really doesn't matter though. Their motivation is irrelevant to the outcome. And I consider the outcome can only be described as misogyny.

Which is that they will always be just a male who believes they are something they are objectively not. Or who doesn't what to the thing they objectively are.

How can the material reality be any different? This is why someone's gender is only based on someone's philosophical belief. And philosophical beliefs are fine for people to hold, but not one person in the UK has to comply with another's philosophical belief.

The logic cannot be any different than that I am afraid. But apparently, we should just let these male people use female language and into female single sex spaces.

You can choose to use the word 'cis' for yourself, and to use whatever language you want to for others. However, it is in no way harmless to make these language changes when you start to understand the collective harm that using this language can result it.

Brainworm · 18/12/2025 16:28

There is a conflict of interest between trans people, who want gendered ideas to form the basis of how others interact with them and people like me who are fundamentally opposed to having any gendered ideas imposed upon us. I want to be treated like a person, free of gendered expectation with recognition of my sex only to play a part where sex matters.

Asking or expecting people like me to invite people to see us through the lens of gender by putting ‘preferred pronouns’ in our bio is as offensive as ‘misgendering’ is to someone with a trans identity.

The professional way of navigating this in the work place is to treat people as people and avoid using pronouns (which isn’t difficult) in instances where this may cause offence.

SoulSearchBeHonest · 18/12/2025 16:29

justpassmethemouse · 18/12/2025 14:51

I’m not sure you can not have a gender identity? Cis and trans are opposites and you’ll have to be one or the other, surely? Even an agender intersex person would have had male or female recorded on the birth certificate, so if they now identify as agender, that would fall under trans.

Either way, your gender identity is your decision and most people will be respectful and describe you as your prefer.

Edited

Nope. I'm not cis or trans. Stop misgendering me. How dare you insist I am CIS or trans, who are you to tell me what I am.

YOU SAID "Either way, your gender identity is your decision and most people will be respectful and describe you as your prefer." So stop disrespecting me and trying to tell me I have to be one or the other, I don't. Practice what YOU preach.

SoulSearchBeHonest · 18/12/2025 16:30

Brainworm · 18/12/2025 16:28

There is a conflict of interest between trans people, who want gendered ideas to form the basis of how others interact with them and people like me who are fundamentally opposed to having any gendered ideas imposed upon us. I want to be treated like a person, free of gendered expectation with recognition of my sex only to play a part where sex matters.

Asking or expecting people like me to invite people to see us through the lens of gender by putting ‘preferred pronouns’ in our bio is as offensive as ‘misgendering’ is to someone with a trans identity.

The professional way of navigating this in the work place is to treat people as people and avoid using pronouns (which isn’t difficult) in instances where this may cause offence.

Totally. I find people forcing this onto others disrespectful.

scorpiogirly · 18/12/2025 16:31

When I read the title, I thought, 'good!'. Then I read the rest of it lol good on you. We have someone who asks the situation on the ladies toilets and using them every meeting. A TIM of course. Refer to the court ruling and have a slash gordon elsewhere.

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