“Birthing parent” language in work policy – inclusive or erasing women?

[InvisibleBumble]

Our workplace has just emailed all staff about changes to parental leave. Throughout the email they repeatedly use the term “the birthing parent”. There is no mention anywhere of women, mothers or maternity leave.

I’m honestly really uncomfortable with it. In trying to be “inclusive”, it feels like women - and our lived experience of pregnancy, childbirth and recovery - are being erased from a policy that is specifically about leave after giving birth.

I’m not anti-inclusion, but I do struggle with language that refuses to even acknowledge women or mothers in this context. Childbirth is not a neutral experience, and maternity leave exists for a reason.

It’s really bugged me, but I’m nervous about pushing back at work in case I’m labelled difficult or “not inclusive enough”.

Am I being unreasonable? Has anyone challenged this kind of language at work, and if so, how did it go?

But only one birth mother. So why not say that? Why remove sex markers?

It doesn’t as those women have told you on her but your not listening

which is the problem
overall - even when the people it affects are telling you

People are kidding themselves if they think this language has anything to do with lesbian couples.

Nobody has explained why birth parent is any more useful than birth mother, actually. If you're going to argue it's best to read the actual posts first

Top surgery and hormone treatments

Removing breasts and taking hormones turns a woman into a man? Are you sure?
You think that's a man with a uterus that has a human coming out of it?

In the UK, the second mother can only be registered as 'parent' on the birth certificate. The only person who can be named mother is the birthing parent - even if the egg is from her partner. Many couples prefer to both be called parent - until there are options available on the birth certificate. For example in other countries you can both choose to be mother, or parent. Or a combination of the above. There is a lot of nuance to this - but you seem to want to turn this into a trans-bashing thread. No matter what info others provide.

Can’t turn a woman into a man.

Seems fine. When my friends had a baby they were both mums but only one of them was pregnant so only one of them got maternity leave. The other got “paternity” but she wasn’t the dad.

They have your not listening becuase your In a defensive mode

She shouldn’t have to and people are offended by that

I'm not turning into anything. I'm agreeing with OP that removing every single reference to mother, woman or female is ridiculous in a maternity leave policy.

Words have meanings. A minority of lesbian couples may prefer to both be called parents, that's fine, it doesn't change the fact that all people taking maternity leave are by definition women and mothers.

Individual preferences do not change facts and we shouldn't be writing policies for tiny tiny minorities. And I've never ever come across any lesbian mothers that had a problem being called mothers.

Wrong its the thin end of the wedge, it goes with cervix havers, chest feeders, menstrators and people who bleed amongst a few such disgusting terms. It opens the door to men feeding chemically induced man secretions to babies and surrogacy etc it strips women of everything that makes us women by divorcing them and us from our words and language and most importantly our humanity

Nope. And I'm not defensive at all

Your posts day otherwise. But I'm turning in for the night, so happy for you to tilt at windmills over this with others.

If'birthing parent' is meant to be inclusive, it failed. It excludes me. I don't identify as a birthing parent. I am a mother, and I took maternity leave.

😂

the irony

If you think so, you haven't understood them.

You may not think this matters. You'd be wrong.

Another word you don't understand.

A women on testosterone whos had a bilateral double mastectomy is not a man

Should just say 'women', 'mothers', 'maternity' etc, and then have an asterisked, catch-all 'other types of parenting arrangements are possible' 👍

Really good points.

They have lines for "Birthday recovery leave" and "Bonding leave" for "non birthing and adoptive parents".

Nowhere are they mentioning mothers, women, or fathers either, or maternity or paternity leave or legal entitlements to them.

“It’s like goldy or bronzey but it’s made of iron.”

Seems like a farce of a policy that may not be legally correct from the sounds of it.