“Birthing parent” language in work policy – inclusive or erasing women?

[InvisibleBumble]

Our workplace has just emailed all staff about changes to parental leave. Throughout the email they repeatedly use the term “the birthing parent”. There is no mention anywhere of women, mothers or maternity leave.

I’m honestly really uncomfortable with it. In trying to be “inclusive”, it feels like women - and our lived experience of pregnancy, childbirth and recovery - are being erased from a policy that is specifically about leave after giving birth.

I’m not anti-inclusion, but I do struggle with language that refuses to even acknowledge women or mothers in this context. Childbirth is not a neutral experience, and maternity leave exists for a reason.

It’s really bugged me, but I’m nervous about pushing back at work in case I’m labelled difficult or “not inclusive enough”.

Am I being unreasonable? Has anyone challenged this kind of language at work, and if so, how did it go?

I work in a male dominated government sector and they have recently got rid of “paternity leave”. It is now called “Maternity Support Leave” which I suppose covers most basis’. But it’s pretty awkward when men request advice on paternity leave.

Transmen are women. Those that give birth are mothers.

Birth mother would distinguish that perfectly well, wouldn't it?

You can't seriously be claiming that being called a parent is dehumanising

Just FYI - Birthing parent is often used to differentiate which mum is pregnant in same-sex relationships.

No but being called a birthing parent instead of a mother is

Of course it's wrong, and offensive. If you give birth, you are a woman, no matter what you call yourself. It is the most basic biology. WTF is wrong with people?

Bottom bits not arse

"Bottom bits"?!!!

Do you mean the female reproductive organs, by any chance?!

She’s told you what she thinks

stop trampling on people

They’ve had physical changes so no not women

It’s exclusively relevant to trans men - it’s offensive to the 99.99% of women who live as women. It’s an agenda mainly pushed by men who live as women and that ignores the women who push back against it, even though they vastly outnumber these shouty men.
YANBU at all!

We know. But birth mother does that just fine and doesn't erase sex for no good reason.

Mine does the same, and calls it caregiver leave 🙄 I still put my status as maternity leave. Like just why, who are we trying to include, men can never give birth, it isn’t in their biology.

What physical changes do you think turns women into men? Particularly when a baby is coming out of their vaginas?

You will be getting called a mother forever - why are you so worried

there are many women on here saying it’s more inclusive for them in their situations

No one who gives birth is a man. These women are delusional and need help. But they don’t get to steal our words to shore up their delusions.

Which bottom bits? My Feet are at the bottom. Ankles? Calves?

Obviously I know what you mean, but English is my first language, I don't have any learning difficulties and have older relatives that speak in polite euphemisms.
But not everyone does. Clear language matters.

Yes but lost of transgender people when talking about surgery use the words top and bottom surgery

ah yes…but you don’t like inclusion do you

it’s privileged white males who are the problem not other women and trans people

Don't be ridiculous. Dehumanising language is used to make a group of people seem less than human, like calling people animals.

The term "parent" is not dehumanising in any way, it does not remove someone's humanity. It actually encompasses ALL humans!

Because there can be 2 mothers?

There’s no surgery that turns a woman into a man.

Yes still women as proven by the fact that they got pregnant and gave birth and because nobody has ever changed sex.
Also they are still legally MOTHERS even if they havea GRC and will be registered as such on the birth certificate a transman with a GRC went all the way to the supreme Court trying to be registered as her sons father instead of their mother but lost. You can lie on your own records but not on anyone else's and the word mother has specific legal meaning and places legal duties on her

Only one birth mother.

everyone doing the " this is inclusive language" stuff there's 100s of thousands of women not having a clue what policies, adverts and documents mean. Most people don't think of themselves as a "birthing parent" and neither fo they need to. Inclusive could be women and birthing parent or women and transman or whatever.

Erasing the word woman isn't inclusive .. its misogynistic.

Handmaid's tale is not so futuristic after all

everyone doing the " this is inclusive language" stuff there's 100s of thousands of women not having a clue what policies, adverts and documents mean. Most people don't think of themselves as a "birthing parent" and neither fo they need to. Inclusive could be women and birthing parent or women and transman or whatever.

Erasing the word woman isn't inclusive .. its misogynistic.

Handmaid's tale is not so futuristic after all