DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

I really don’t care what you believe or not

Successful influencers have to work bloody hard and can't be stupid, otherwise people won't follow them. So long as this girl is aware of the precariousness of the job and is saving and thinking about fall-back positions, her income is as safe as it can be. Your husband is just making himself look stupid by forming all these preconceptions about her, and is liable to embarrass himself when he meets her unless he gets rid of them.

Your husband needs to butt out! Is he normally this controlling?

Bit over the top.
If anything you're coming across as the one who doesn't understand it.

You only need a brief look at some of the vitriolic threads on tattle to see the extent to which many people think that choosing to work in any public sphere means you are forfeiting your right to any privacy at all and everything you do is uo for comment. Multiple influencers have spoken about being stalked etc.

I have a friend who dated and is now married to an influencer and tbh it's a pain in the arse. Going anywhere with them when she was filming was so boring and took hours longer than it needed to, as was the constant reminder that we didn't want to be included in any footage and ways to try and work around that.

She is probably medium popular - Well over a million followers but not one of the huge ones and again the amount of abuse she received from different places and the number of people constantly coming up to talk to her as if they knew her was bizarre.

That's not to say I agree with the DH, I don't. Apart from anything else how many people still do the same job for the rest of their lives as they did in their 20s? And thats even more relevant with social media jobs.if she's doing well enough from it to be her full time career she's clearly got a lot of skills, so she could always move to another job if her circumstances change, but why shouldn't she enjoy it for now?

What does your husband do for a living?

Your DH sounds like the one with the low IQ.

Firstly you are correct that saying something negative to your ds would be the wrong thing to do. Could upset him, alienate him, cause an argument etc.

Secondly, your DH is incorrect. This is a legitimate career in 2025 and she sounds as though she’s good at it and is making money. It probably offers a lot more flexibility than a 9-5.

Is th

I tend to agree with your husband about influencing though not about the low IQ, rather about it being a sign of very poor character.
However I also agree with you that there is no point in saying anything.

I bet this is rooted in misogyny. Ive heard men complaining about “vapid”
”self absorbed” influencers. You know the type who complain about women who know they are pretty. Women should all be insecure and demure in their eyes.

As others have stated, this is just modern day marketing.

In the past, big brands preferred to hire celebrities in TV campaigns to market goods. Now customers, especially millennials and younger, are more likely to trust the views of online influencers who they believe have tastes that are aligned with theirs. So influencers get commissioned more instead.

This is a big market now and at least its not another kid doing makeup tutorials (not that there is anything wrong with that but a lot or very young people and a lot of make up tutorials)

I think it sounds a great career and she's obviously doing well. Probably making a lot of money. You see a lot of the big influencers now on TV as celebrities - look at the kid who won i'm a celeb.

Is this your son’s girlfriend or yours and your husband’s? Shouldn’t he be allowed to choose his own girlfriend? Jeez-no wonder there are so many young adults who can’t do anything for themselves with this much emeshment from parents. I don’t mean that to sound harsh but-imagine yourself when you were young and your parents tutting with disapproval over your bf’s job and calling him low in and wondering if they should say something to you. She’s an influencer not a drug dealer.

@ExitViaGiftShop

He’s a grown up. He can go out with who he wants even if you don’t like it.

To be honest I think she should be praised. She found a way to love her job, she’s self sufficient, she’s travelling and living life well. Am sure she’s developing plenty of skills for when or if she needs another career and in the meantime why shouldn’t she enjoy her 20s! Good for her. The job market is changing rapidly and there’s really no such thing as a safe career anymore anyway.

Regardless it’s still none of your business and I’m at a loss for what your husband could expect to say that would do anything except make your son roll his eyes and feel a bit uncomfortable.

My in-laws met me at 19 when I’d dropped out of university and was bartending at a very dodgy club. I had a tongue ring and a bunch of tattoos and am also Jewish which was a surprise to them but probably not the most concerning thing at the time. They were never anything but kind and welcoming - now 25 years later I have their grandkids and a boring office job and a house in the suburbs and have basically turned into them and we get along fine. I think a lot of this could have turned out differently if they’d said nasty things about me early on in our relationship.

DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ.

I'm afraid the only idiotic one here is your DH.

At this point "influencer" doesn't actually mean anything. There are levels to it. Yes, there are the no-talent grifters of popular imagination, but there are also people who are incredibly talented in their fields who are also using social media skills to communicate that. And regardless of the above, in order to be successful you have to work incredibly hard to actually create and curate content - this is not just snapping a few photos and uploading them. Most successful influencers will be learning a lot of technical skills on the job in terms of photography, editing, trend analysis and more (as well as their actual field of interest).

Travel influencing can definitely be borderline grift and almost every example I've seen either screams "a PR company paid for me to big this up" or "wacky adventurer trampling around and annoying the locals". I don't go to social media influencers for my travel tips. But in terms of a career plan, if she's good at it then she'll be able to parlay it into a stable PR career in the industry fairly easily.

So, you don’t like her because of her job - is that it?

The type of influencer you describe works very hard. As others have said, her role is similar to that of a travel journalists, only she works independently rather than being attached to a media company.

I do quite a lot of social media work myself (I’m mid 50s) in addition to my day job, and it’s very hard work. There’re many skills involved beyond being charismatic. You need to be a good researcher (trends, video ideas, locations, etc), have good video editing skills, learn about social media marketing, etc., and that’s in addition to all the self-employed skills you need to develop. You're basically an entrepreneur.

Looking down on this talented girl and wanting to “speak to your son” about her because you don’t understand her job is incredibly narrow-minded.

"DH has much stronger views"

Based on what?

Your husband is an embarrassment. Who made him king of the world?

You - and especially your husband - are living in the past.

It's a viable career, she stands a good chance of being considerably richer than all of us, it really isn't indicative of a low IQ. Content creation is HARD. Anyone can make a one off video - creating an ongoing stream that regularly engages people and builds a community that advertisers want to target may not be rocket science, but it's not a sign of lack of intelligence either.

If she's good at it - if it's paying enough at her age that she doesn't need another job - fair play to her.

Say absolutely nothing at all and tell your husband to get his head out of the dark ages and leave her alone at Christmas.

Your dh is niave. The world of work is changing.

Would he suggest she goes into print journalism instead ?

I own a business related to this field and employ 15+ people on decent wages because of it. Your DH is incredibly snobby and old fashioned. The people I work with are also highly intelligent and ambitious, they also work with some huge corporate brands. I suggest he does some more research into it.

Yes, that's how I see it. Judith Chalmers, Alan Whicker, Cliff Mitchelmore and the like were basically doing exactly what this young lady does, except they did it on television.

Take some time to understand her job; it is a genuine career these days and some do astonishingly well with it. Lots of marketing teams now have influencer departments who work with them closely and they’re very business savvy. Good on her for going for it, and doing well!

Your DH’s attitude really stinks and my goodness if he suggests to your son that his girlfriend has a ‘low IQ’ because she’s an influencer get ready to say goodbye to him for a while. How snobby and rude. Tell him to get off his bloody high horse.

Exactly.
As for being ‘precarious’ we’ll, hate to break it to you OP but lots of ‘traditional’ jobs are currently precarious at the moment and being a content creator she will be developing skills which are valued in the current labour market so pivoting into a new or adjacent career won’t be too difficult.

A lot of career paths don’t last forever - if she has a sensible head (& she has her degree to fall back on) she can have a career change down the line or move into a more traditional marketing or PR type role.