DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

Absolutely don't say anything. The IQ argument isn't valid if she has a degree. And if she earns well, legally, pays taxes etc it's none of your business. I'd probably have some concerns about the future (what if she becomes less popular, what's her backup plan with no formal work experience), but that could apply to lots of jobs And presenting very well is a transferable skill thay not a lot of people have. It's not like she is stuck in her bedroom posting loads of content and getting nowhere.

He could be dating someone with no job, or a very low skilled job which means hed likely be supporting them in the future, or an addiction, or a criminal record, or mental health issues that again meant he be supporting her. Your husband is going to look like an idiot telling your son he doesn't like his girlfriends successful career that he hasn't bothered to try and understand

He will end up being her lackey. Forced to take shot after shot until he gets it right while she poses like a gurning idiot at some tourist hotspot.

I wouldnt police what people say, your dh - as do you, have every right to voice an opinion on what is a pretty pertinent topic

i was going to say, this pp has obvs never encountered consultants/contractors. When i used to have to deal with some they were all about bigging themselves and their contacts up, and always turned up either just before lunch or dinner so we would invite them out and pay for their (expensive) meals.

There are grifters everywhere. "influencer" is a stupid name but there it is, at least it's honest. Done properly and if the finances are handled well, it could be a very intleresting and profitable (not to mention enjoyable) career.

I don't see the issue. The only people I have an issue with are the beggers which she is not. People saying about the longevity of the job thats every job especially now with technology and ai becoming more and more part of everyday life. Id say good for her sounds like she doing really well for herself and traveling the world in the process

I also think it’s the word influencer. And a few posters in the same I don’t understand it so I hate it bag.

this woman is self employed and running her own business. If she’s making money then she’s very good at what she does. This means if she elects to change direction at any time, and move to employment, her success is her career history and very attractive to employers.

i think a lot of people think it’s like something out of love island, posting vacuous videos posing in front of a camera, and getting a bit of cash in hand. It’s far from that for the successful ones. It is a modern day television career, where you do all roles, from content creator to production to the star.

id be willing to bet good money she likely out earns the op, her husband or both, or shortly will.

Have you and your DH even met and got to know this poor woman, who has carved out her own successful, enjoyable career?

I'm sure lots of people would have opinions on working in pharmaceuticals.

Influencing is a vacuous ‘career’ but it can earn good money. Depends if you are happy to gain income in such a futile way or if you want to have a positive influence on the world I guess🤷‍♂️

I wonder if your DH has seen her on OnlyFans?

youd Get on with the op and her husband, you could meet up and sit and discuss all these new fangled things and how much better things when you were young.

I’d not say anything.

But… what I personally dislike about influencers is the endless quest for self PR and adoration, and the lengths people will go to to get it. I don’t like the generally unfounded sense of self-importance that comes from then believing they’re some sort of expert, because people with very little experience give them a like without really scrutinising anything. I don’t like the notion that it’s more important to get any content out and make something look good, rather than having any actual qualifiable skills or experience. You only have to look around at the number of crap “experiences” there are that have a banner made of fake flowers so someone can dress it up on instagram.

I don’t think these traits carry well into real life, I wouldn’t want either of my kids being with someone whose raison d’etre depended on convincing themselves and others that they’re some sort of expert when really they’re only being judged by what they look like and whether they can mimic the stupid GRWM type voice.

But no, I wouldn’t say anything. It’s up to him, but those are the traits of the influencers I know. They’re a bloody nightmare, and they literally live by the motto fake it til you make it. And I don’t like people who have to fake it.

wtf? She’s a travel influencer! How on earth does that mean she uses only fans??

Influencers absolutely can have a positive influence on the world. She's providing entertainment and education.

You don’t know any influencers do you.

Travel influencers are very different.

Deary me, please tell your DH to do one. He sounds like a judgemental arsehole. Unless you want to permanently damage your relationship with your son…

You can’t read can you.

There’s a storyline on the Archers about this at the moment! At first everyone thought the influencer girlfriend was shallow and annoying but she turned out to be hardworking and lovely. It took the older generation like your DH a while to get their heads around it but they did.
Send your DH off the catch up on last 6 months of the Archers to keep him quiet.

I voted yanbu as in op thinks her husband shouldn't say anything, which he shouldn't. I still think they are both ignorant and snobby.

Absolutely ridiculous to be this invested in your adult child's partner's job. She's got a job and is successful, well done her. Unless you're talking about hitman/drug dealer or something which could impact a partner, it really is none of your business. Count your blessings and tell your dh to stop being a dinosaur.

I can, I am saying I don’t believe you.

So let me get this straight.

Your adult son has an adult girlfriend who is Independant, has a degree, loves to travel, is gainfully employed and is a good person.

And you are overly invested in exactly the type of girl you want him with because you don’t agree with her job (which is legal, pays well and she isn’t dependant on your son at all).

This is the forewarning for this girl on in-law awfulness full of judgement and criticism.

Have you actually read the OP?

Exactly, she’s getting off her arse and making a living. Is there a non precarious career path for young adults these days? Good for her.

your husband needs to pipe down, they are adults ffs.

He's an adult. Let him lead his own life. Tell your husband to stay quiet.