DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

Tell your DH to pipe down. I work in marketing and even in our team of professional marketeers we simply don’t have the skill (or time!) to create engaging and professional level content so we outsource it to people exactly like your DS’s girlfriend, in the same way we outsource graphic design because it’s a whole artistic skill set in its own right. The chap we’re working with now is a professional man in his 40s who discovered a talent for it and has recently left his job to do it full time. We pay him near on £1k per 60 second reel.

A friend of mine is in a highly qualified white collar job but has accidentally become an influencer / content creator and is now earning more from that than her day job & forever being invited on trips and sent things (without ever asking for them).

If the girlfriend is making a good living from it then more power to her. I only wish I had the imagination and the skill to do the same!

Your dh is a nasty person. Even if she had a low IQ (which is unlikely given the degree you mention she has) and was unemployed, it still would 't be his business or his place to warn his adult dc off from dating someone.

He’s 26. The end

My son is at university and is a content creator too. He earns an absolute fortune and has been sent to some exotic countries! I used to think just as you do that its not a proper career. However he is adamant he can earn a lot from it and his degree will be pretty useless!

Your sons girlfriend is far from stupid and she has a degree to fall back on too. Just be happy that he has found a nice girlfriend.

i think some people have the old school view about work eg the old get a job in a supermarket, or something along those lines, but in todays society roles change tech changes and in many respects being an influencer can in some cases pay better rewards than just working in a supermarket, so in a sense why limit your propsects if there is money to be made from doing it etc.

however trying to then convince others of that view is the tricky part,.

personally what or why is your dh against the whole influencer concept ?

after all people become muscians, or actors etc and in a sense an influencer is not that much different than being a rock star as your still followed by lots of people and get freebies etc when sucessful

Effectively it is a marketing job, but a modern marking job. Its just the new age of job types. Ridiculing it would be like a parent in the 80's ridiculing a job working with computers. So yes you are right to try and reign in your DH and try and get him to understand its just a job he doesnt understand as he is of a different generation. Effectively he is being prejudiced towards a job type because he doesnt understand it. If he understands it more he may soften a bit.

curious to know, if your son is earning “an absolute fortune” whilst studying for a “useless” degree- is he at least paying for his own tuition fees and living costs or getting himself into £000s of student debt and/or expecting you to contribute?

I’m curious about this answer - you don’t think elite sportsmen who train hard every day and work endlessly to be the best aren’t in jobs?

Is it football or all sports?

And for reference a game is 90 minutes so not hours.

Several games is hours

Awful? Maybe he's just a concerned parent that doesn't want his son getting together with a vacuous, I love me who do you love type airhead.
No training needed, anyone and everyone is jumping on the influencer bandwagon now.

the gf does have a degree, and besides its hardly different than football, musician's, acting in films / tv etc all could be said to be over rated industries

No training needed? So you could do research, write a script, talk confidently to a camera, film and edit a Youtube video well enough to gain an audience? Especially considering how saturated the market is?

Also, OP says she is in intelligent and has a degree so how much of a vacuous airhead could she be?

She likely earns a lot more than your son does… I used to work with them and some pulled in what I made in a year for a single video.

Your DH sounds overbearing and anal and these views will likely cost him his relationship with his son if he doesn't keep his 'gob shut'. In the nicest possible way , she sounds VERY intelligent and its your DH that doesn't and I would be telling him so lol.

In my experience of knowing influencers, yes, it is Mortgage Paying and Pensionable.

That's not the answer you wanted, was it? Are you always this gleeful about the prospect of someone whose career you mildly dislike coming to suffering?

Your husband is being unfairly judgemental. He hasn't even met the girl yet. She sounds like she would be quite interesting to talk to. Since you're asking for advice, I agree with the many opinions on here. Parents stay out of your son's business!

I'd be more worried if she's a nice person, if she's kind, if she's good to my son. I honestly wouldn't care if the person didn't have an amazing career in their mid-twenties, many people feel their way along what they want to do or start one thing and then another, and if she's a supportive great girlfriend (and even if she isn't), the best thing is to support your son by accepting her. You don't have to love her yourself, she's not your girlfriend.

Sure but you are talking about the men playing and they only play one at most every three days. For 90 minutes a time.

To be a professional takes hours and hours of hard work, training, fitness, physio, analysis, etc etc etc. Your comment so ignorant about the fact that it is a job.

What a tosser your dh is. Poor girl should run for the hills, maybe take your son with her if he’s not as much of a twat as his dad!

With the advance of AI what your dh thinks of as a ‘sensible’ career will soon be non existent. Even if she’s not academic she may have attributes which are equally valuable such as emotional intelligence.

I have to disagree. It’s probably more stable than having one full time job because you gather contexts and you make money in a variety of ways. If one contract or jobs ends, 5 more land in your inbox. If you lose your full time job you’ve lost your income overnight.

Saying no training needed is ignorant as to what goes into successful content creation. Yes someone can pick up their phone and film a blurry video and upload it but no one is going to watch it and it wont be a career.
But successful channels, well made channels even if they haven't got much of an audience yet, is not something that can be done with no training, people edit the videos, so knowledge of after effects/premiere pro/da vinci or other chosen editing software sometimes blender, thumbnails will be photoshop or similar program. Knowing the latest meta for thumbnails and titles, getting the right pacing and starter hook, choosing the shortened version for each platform, and analysing your stats to edit future videos in terms of length, topic, and posting time.
There are many skills that do indeed need to be trained and stay up to date with for those having it as a career.

Sat nothing. She could be a circus clown who juggles live shrimp for a living and it still wouldn’t be your or your husband’s business.

The only time I’d speak up about this is if they had DC and she was putting pictures/videos of them all over the internet. Otherwise say nothing.

Irrespective of her job, your son is 26 and is old enough to make his own decisions. We as parents don't always approve of a lot of things, but if it was to go wrong in their relationship, be there for him at the end. Are you worried about your husbands behaviour more here? It sounds like you already have had this discussion but you're worried he's going to say something anyway.