DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

Ah i see, so AI says consumers - which is you and your clients

I’d also add / it really doesn’t matter how many flavours of ‘I’m not a massive fan of my son’s or daughter’s partner’ thread we get. The only sane advice (unless they are in danger) is always the same. Council them when you can but typically only when asked, tread carefully and if they are happy, butt out and be ready to pick up the pieces if it all goes wrong.

It’s not Emma Cruises is it?!

I agree.

Some are absolute drivel, there is a young family on facebook who also do TikTok and Youtube who post absolute drivel every day, are chavvy and ungrammatical but seem to have a coterie of worshippers and make a fortune. I would find it extremely embarrassing if they were my children; their children are little and cute - and exploited - but I would think they might object as they get older.

However someone I know is making money in that way and is a serious musician. He has a niche audience but those interested in what he does will find it very interesting and learn from it.

Your son's girlfriend may be doing a service for people who want to travel.

In your place, I'd have a look at some of the stuff she produces, your husband too, before making judgements. You might find it quite good and interesting.

Whatever, your husband mustn't get annoyed or diss her, it's not his business, his son is a grown man.

There is nothing (except abuse, illegal or taboo career or criminal record) that would make me disapprove of my children's partners- it's the surest way to drive them away from you and into the partner's arms.

It's a bad strategy and an unnecessary one for two mid-twenties adults, given that it has nothing to do with you!

If it’s not paying after 15 years it’s a side hustle isnt it. It is for most people.

What do you think consumers are? Humans who buy stuff.

I work in marketing; I sell stuff for my big corporate clients.

As a little side hustle (that doesn’t generate cash because I don’t have time or really want to take it to that level) I help tiny one-person independent brands sell stuff.

What’s the difference?

Its difficult to be successful as an influencer, it shows determination and intelligence. Just let your DS get on with it, he is 26 not 16.

He is a grown up it's the way of the world now.
Say nothing he will just see you as old fashioned I don't think he would appreciate words of advice .
Leave him to his life.

I think you're DH needs to keep out of it and not be so judgemental. Im guessing there could be a cultral difference here

It sounds as if your son’s girlfriend has imagination, flair and intelligence - all great assets wherever her “career path” leads. Perhaps if your DH can be persuaded to take a genuine interest, he may find himself impressed.

If this was my son’s girlfriend I’d be intrigued to find out all about her work as an influencer. Good for her, and for your son for picking such a resourceful girlfriend.

I’ve got no idea whether OP’s son’s GF is running a side hustle or a proper business, my point is, it’s no different to any other business.

50 years ago SEO agencies didn’t exist, now they do and people make good money.

Why would it not be paying after 15 years? There are people on youtube who have already been successful for that long.

Yeah I agree @schoolfriend

Finding lots of this conversation really baffling with people going ‘I’m 50 so I’ve no idea about this’

Social media is 20 years old 🤣

@Thatsnotmyjobtoday OP, tell your husband not to knock it - many of the successful influencers earn a really nice chunk of money for a down-payment on a house! And possibly a lot more. If she's good at it, and if they end up marrying, they're very likely to have a great start to married life with her earnings. Sounds like he needs to be educated about these things. The good influencers can be extraordinarily successful. I've seen more than one move into a huge house after a few years.

“Stuck in his ways”

He sounds like a sanctimonious prig to be honest. I’d make it VERY VERY clear that he is not to say anything and if he did, I’d be asking him to leave. And to open his mind a little. It’s very insulting to say that influencers must have a low IQ. A lot of them are actually shrewd business people. And I say this as someone who doesn’t like influencer culture and avoids their content.

I mean it’s like any business there is a range, just how if someone opens a brick and mortar shop it could be successful enough to franchise and get more stores or it could be a bust and then there’s a whole range in between that.
my bills are paid monthly because Im employed by a creator, they earn enough to live a privileged lifestyle and hire a team.

Would he judge her being a journalist or working in sales? Social media in its simplest form is a video version of Amazon product reviews or a QVC segment that you edited yourself.

I’d be annoyed if her job meant I was pressured to be in videos or events like meals were delayed so that she could get photos but not so much that I’d tell my child to end the relationship.

There are accounts where there are photos of instagrammers’ spouses and what they do to get the perfect pic for their other half.

The thing is… I don’t really have any experience of this! But I’m not so small minded I can’t see it works for some people, in spite of me not spending a lot of time on TikTok!

@PermanentTemporary I can imagine having difficulty with some careers of a child’s partner - professional torturer, executioner, assassin etc. I don’t know what I would do if ds brought one of these home.

God, are you always this judgmental? 🤣

Always!! 😂

I don’t think it’s easy to become an influencer and if she’s doing well and not doing stupid things on it for attention then I don’t see why it would be an issue at all 🤷‍♀️

Your DH is judgemental and sound rude.

DS is 26 and is fully grown. You need to trust his judgement and treat his GF with kindness like you would any other guest.

If she wanted to include you in content, you would be within your rights to say no. Otherwise, mind your beeswax.

That’s why I said if

I agree!

On Instagram, I follow a member of a cruise ship crew who works on different cruise ships. Her videos are so interesting. You see lots of all these amazing ships, and you see everything behind the scenes - where the crew eat, sleep, and relax. Sometimes she's been able to stay in the amazing suites if the ship is empty due to repositioning. And once, there was a tour in a shipyard where the ship was propped up a bit, and they walked right under the hull, able to touch it all the way along! Now that is a view of a ship that you don't normally see!

There are also ballerinas showing their lives, which is so interesting. And there's an Emirates cabin crew member, again really interesting. Oh - and there have been some Oxbridge influencers, showing what their lives are like inside the gilded gates.

Many influencers put out really interesting content, and there's something for everyone. There's even a dog groomer in Niagara whose channel is so successful that she is now able to groom dogs for free for the National Humane Society. She really transforms these dogs, most of whom have problems and need a specialist groomer. It's amazing to see the difference and how well she handles them.

Then, there are the beauty influencers, whom I love. I can shop for makeup accurately online thanks for their reviews - I just google what shades I'm looking for - and they always have great product recommendations. You can avoid wasting money on things that don't work. And don't get me started on how useful all the makeup tutorials are.

Then there are studytubers...I mean, it just goes on and on. Your husband is missing out. There are probably influencers and vloggers for your husband's interests, too.