DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

No, people trust micro influencers as they perceive them as more authentic and just like them.

The OPs husband probably loves a bit of Portillo and his trains, doesn’t see him as vapid…hmm wonder why

Perhaps your husband would feel better if your son’s girlfriend was claiming benefits rather than earning a living ??

Speaking from bitter and painful experience, say nothing. If your DS is happy, that's the main thing. Both the relationship and her way of making money could both be short-lived. If things go srong for her, she's got a degree. Life's too short to be worried about the future.

I know a lot of influencing isn't "real" but say she travels to some sunny waterfall and devours a flake hoping her followers go out and buy one, it's still a big step closer to real than watching Rachel Hunter in the 80s!

Let’s take an example of one of the OGs - eg Zoella - I’m sure you’d agree she’s hardly a micro influencer.

But you’ve derailed from my original point (in response to a pp) which is that not everyone would jump at the chance of money/freebies/travel opportunities if it meant they had to become known to the public. Same applies to Michael Portillo and the op’s son’s gf and everyone in between.

It’s almost 2026. This is a job, it’s just a different form of working in advertising/marketing. Your DH needs to understand the new ways brands get customers and realize this is the norm now and it can be a very good way for someone to make money

In a non digital age she would have been a travel correspondent or similar.
Your DH is showing his ignorance.
She's an intelligent, degree educated woman, earning a good wage and living an interesting life. Weird to disapprove of that really.

Your son is dating a well educated self employed entrepreneur that owns a successful business and brand. But she is not good enough. Interesting.
She might not do the current content into her 60's. But she is learning valuable skills and can change careers if needed. Like majority of people do several times in their lifetime.

I wonder if your DH would feel differently if the girlfriend’s career was television presenter? Because essentially, that’s what she’s doing except with a shed load of other roles to boot. She has to plan like a producer, and find the content with the right information like a researcher, choose locations with physical considerations like lighting & sound etc. then deliver it all in an engaging way. It might not be a career that lasts a lifetime, but with the advent of AI, not many people can say they will be indispensable. Let her make hay while the sun shines!

But nobody HAS to become known to the public. I’m not. Nobody knows much about me behind my IG.

If you choose that path, great, but I would say the vast majority of influencers have a niche and they stick to that content, otherwise people unfollow as they lose interest.

Yes exactly. My original point (that you derailed) was in response to a pp who said that most people would jump at the chance - I disagreed.

Sorry didn’t realise having a conversation was derailing. You can just stop if you don’t want to chat…

I follow an influencer, actually several of them but one stands out. She started just over a year ago and has told her story which is weight loss. She’s also done a bit on tik tok shop selling items too. Her commissions and earnings in October this year were just under £6000. For one month. She’s not a well known influencer on tik tok but is going ok. Some of these more well known influencers will be making a fortune.

When u say people you mean you

Bite your tongue and rap your nails on something whenever you see her

“Angry ginge” has just won I’m a celeb. George Clark is in the final of strictly! They are content creators/influencers. They are likely to end up with lucrative contracts for brands based off this! While she might not be up there at the moment with the right content she might end up with a big deal and make more than your son, or your husband!! Shouldn’t be turning your nose down at people cos they do a job you don’t necessarily understand

hi
when you say successful is it Mortgage paying and pensionable successful
or just not paying after say 15 years and the influencer has got nothing for their future ?

Yep, I think you have a DH problem, your DS doesn't currently have any problems. I'd be sitting him down and dragging him into current reality, as any other course of action is setting up issues in the future.

Low IQ, honestly.

Some of the ones I watch are "mortgage paying (I'm assuming pension paying too), employing 3 or 4 staff, having their own merchandise, selling actual products successful.

The Sidemen have cereal in Tesco, Morrisons etc and and a frozen range in Iceland.
WillNE and James Marriot have a coffee brand in Sainsburys
Several of them have makeup/skincare brands
Some I watch have talked about investing in various startup companies.

The quickest Google would have told you otherwise.

I hire a lot of them for work. Clients don’t want to spend £100k on one influencer any more; they want to spread their bets and get in front of 10/20/30 different more diverse smaller audiences.

Makes sense as a marketing strategy.

Woah - so surprised by the split here. It’s a modern job. Why is it different to any other job, aside from not being what older people are familiar with? I say that as someone who is in their 40’s and not on any social media aside from MN and FB, which I go on rarely.

This is the second trending thread about an adult son being treated like a child by over protective parents.
No wonder there's so many young women deciding to stay single!

I guess they’ll need to evolve their offering but that’s just like being an entrepreneur, isn’t it?

You haven't embarrassed yourself. You've been very fair. Don't listen to this arsehole.

Hold on. ✋️
Let me understand this. 🤔
Your husband wants to give warning to a 26 year old, grown arse man, about his new-found love life? 😨

Nope. No dice 🙅‍♀️
Tell your hubby to stay in his lane and bite his lip 💯
Otherwise he may push his lad away, all for the sake of an outdated opinion. 🤦🏻‍♀️

YANBU. Tell your hubby he's best off keeping schtum 🤫
@Thatsnotmyjobtoday

Edited to add: Or better yet, he can take an interest and learn about this new lady (possible future daughter in law). 😇