DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

Uh-huh. "Stooping' to what exactly? You haven't explained what you think the lowly "values" are of everyone who creates content online - and presumably we lesser mortals who defend them - regardless of what topic. I'm assuming you imagine your values are of significantly higher calibre than them and the rest of us, although I'm unclear what you're basing that on. Nor what the lowly values are that you appear to be claiming for everyone that isn't you or in your exalted circles?

FWIW, I'm very glad my values don't involve the sort of lazy small-minded snobbery some people's clearly do. Being ignorant and judgemental isn't anything to be proud of.

Yes, don’t be falling off your high horse there.

Yes bite your tongue it might all end up much better than you thought.

Your DH is BU - you’ve got the more sensible attitude

Your son is 26. He’s an adult. Why should his parents have a say on who he dates anyway?

Sorry, my bad! I’ve had far too many replies on here over the years from people who’ve ignored the fact that I was replying to a specific post and have missed the context, so I wrongly assumed you were another one 🤦‍♀️

Have either of you actually met her yet?

it is pretty much the same thing - the industry has changed and now includes online social media content which is the area this woman is in. You don’t know what sort of content, how she makes it, plans it, films it or creates it. It’s batshit mad and ignorant to say that people in these sort of jobs have low IQ or to look down your nose at them. People can largely choose how to be ‘reached’ through advertising and so if people aren’t interested in her area they can not engage with it as they like. There is nothing dishonest about being a ‘influencer’ - which is a rubbish term for it because she’ll be wearing many many hats making her business work for her. As many business owners do.

That’s the narrowest view of this. How is she selling her privacy any more than Michael Portillo did on his show about travelling by train??

Wait, creating Internet content is low down, amoral and one must be superficial, abandon all principles, have no values and stoop low to do it?

And should definitely stop posting on Mumsnet!

No way. How else will I hone my evil craft?

Yes, "influencers" are absolutely awful at the best of times. Vapid and shallow. I've met lots of them through my work. Almost all of them are vile. I can't say to know your DS's girlfriend, she might be lovely. But with near certainty, I can say this: he could (and should) do better.

Yanbu

If he says something then he risks becoming content for her and she may tag you and your h to shame you.

In her...travel videos?

DH is a dinosaur. What you need is a Fred Flintstone club and swing it at him if he climbs up on his soap box over Christmas

Well arguably the same can be said for Michael Portillo - he’s chosen to put himself in the public eye and strangers will know who he is and will have an opinion (good or bad) on him and his work. That’s not something I would ever choose.

And with influencing it usually does go to that next level of knowing them more intimately. That’s why influencing took off - people felt they could trust influencers because they knew all about them.

You think Joe and George who did/do Strictly are vapid and shallow? You think people who post videos about how to be frugal are vapid and shallow? You think people who post DIY or cooking videos are vile? What about people who post their animation videos?

I don't understand why people think OP, her DH, her DS etc are so interesting that the girlfriend would want to tell all her followers about them in her successful travel vlog? I watch a few travel vloggers and they don't show their families etc because it has nothing to do with the travelling.

I don't understand why people think creating multimedia Internet content is a moral issue. Even if it's shit content, where's the moral failing? Assuming there's no exploitation or serious misinformation etc going on, if it's just someone choosing to share their travel experience, or their cooking skills, or how to sing better, or tips for playing the kazoo... what makes the creator an inferior person?

I can just imagine her next viral video.
“Hope you enjoyed my series following a two week tour of highlights of Singapore! Thanks to TopHolidays! And join me next time for …. some film of my new boyfriend’s grumpy parents in their kitchen talking about job security”

I think they are like the op and her husband, they don’t understand it so they hate it.

Your husband is being ridiculous. It's none of his business.

I completely agree but some people are only just waking up to the fact that people like Stacy Solomon (mentioned on another thread) or Giovanna Fletcher are not talking about Flash Bathroom Spray or recommending Tonie Boxes/Amazon Fire tablets because they woke up one day and decided to recommend them to their millions of internet friends. We're about 15 years into influencing so I don't think we can say they're dishonest and pretending it's not ads at this stage. They are labelled as such, for a start. Most travel vlogs include a gifted element even if it's the flights only, or a universal SIM card or pass to an airport lounge.

Content creators can make serious money. I follow a few who are really interesting. I'm in my 50s and see nothing wrong with travel content.

If it tails off she can do something else. No one has job security these days.

I don't get the snobbery against it. Don't we all want to enjoy our work and make money?

Why on earth would you think it is any of your business what your child's partner does for a living - as long as it is an honest days work?

Would you stick your oar in if she worked in a shop? An abattoir? Legal representation for violent criminals?

If she worked in marketing would you be ringing your hands that AI might take her job?

Is it not likely that if her job stops paying a good wage she will pivot her skills to something else like anyone would.

I think your "concerns" are simply snobbery. This woman might one day be the mother of your grandchildren and the relationship you could have with her depends on how you act now.

This!