DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

Yes. All of that.
Load of absolute crap clogging up the place filmed by vacuous people who think other people are interested in whatever shite they're turning out.
But clearly there is a market for this dross... which is even worse.

My brother is a programmer. He had to hear this kind of comment. Oh a programmer, tha´ts just playing with computers isn´t it? Erm...no...He told me he just couldn´t be bothered to explain...

So you don't think you should not have to pay for something you used if its not currently brand new?

Specifically how old does a film, piece of art, book or song have to be before you think its your 'right' to have it for free?

Why the judgement? I mean what's on your list of suitable careers to date your son? Would you prefer he dated an accountant? Someone in finance? Maybe a medic? I assume the girl is probably under 26, she's got a degree but has decided not to scramble for a graduate job, instead she's making a living posting videos of travel and experiences. Aged 24-25 I spent 18 months traveling and having amazing experiences, the difference is I had to fund them myself!! I say good on the girl, if she can make a living out of it then why the hell not. I'd rather do what she's doing than be working 9-5 in a graduate job, barely earning enough to pay the rent living in a houseshare! She's only young maybe she'll go and do her accountancy exams once she's done having fun living her life?

There seems to be a lot of posts recently on here from parent's of people in their 20's where they are interfering in their adult child's relationships. The thing is you raise your children to be good people, provide them with the best education you can, but you have to leave the rest up to them. What they do with their lives and who they choose to spend it with has nothing to do with you as parents. It doesn't matter what job your son's gf has or anything else about her, it's entirely up to him who he choses to date and eventually settle down with. If you say anything negative you will completely damage any relationship and should he settle down with this girl you risk also harming your relationship with the family he may eventually have. Never pass judgement or opinion on who your children bring home, even if you can't stand them. Unless you have something nice to say, say nothing at all.

Creating content is hard work! I have a job 4 days a week plus I create content. Don't earn much cash but do get a lot of freebies.

If she's good then good for her. I personally couldn't do it as a career as it's not regular enough income for my liking but as others have said, you can earn really well from it.

I think your DH needs to get out of the dark ages and realise there's lots of different ways to make money. It could be worse, could be OFs.

It’s social media, not crack cocaine or Only Fans. Get a grip. What she does is none of your concern.

As someone who’s spent years studying and working in a “proper” profession I say YABU. I earn so little it’s hard to make ends meet, there’s nothing heroic about that.

The world is unfair and completely bonkers so it makes total sense to choose a bonkers career that also doesn’t make sense.

Exactly - 20 years ago people would have consumed similar content, but by reading magazines or watching TV shows on cooking, DIY and travel.

Social Media channels just make it easier for individuals to create the content through a different medium. Just like TV, if the content is paid for by advertising, no viewers means no money and no show.

Lifestyle and travel. She is also absolutely beautiful.

Exactly.

And brands are shifting ad spend away from traditional advertising outputs, reallocating a large amount of it to content creators. That’s a business decision they’re making because it makes commercial sense.

According to The State of Influencer Marketing in Europe 2025, 81% of UK marketers plan to increase influencer marketing budgets in 2026.

Oh and YouTube creators contributed approximately £2.2 billion to the UK economy in 2024.

That's not an essential requirement, but it does help! Good luck to her.

So? Choose to what to watch and not watch, the same way as we choose the quality of any other media we wish or don't wish to engage with . There is nothing that sounds "vacuous" about this young woman. I just don't watch what I'm not interested in or what I don't think has value. It's not difficult.

I think your prejudices and ignorance are showing. As well as your fears and jealousies. I'm probably not much younger than you are. Time is going to move forward whether you or I like it or not, however much people want to hark on about some idyllic idea of the good old days - and young people are going to have to adapt to the future landscape and the market whatever it may be. I'm unclear what you would like to happen or how you want things to be in this supposedly ideal world, but they have to adapt to what will be, not what older people moaning about everyone and everything but themselves and what they like being "vacuous" or "dross" are clinging on to.

As the professional who actually does know something about the future job market has explained, a lot of the skills being shown ARE going to be necessary for the future.

Your DH needs to keep his opinions to himself, otherwise he will push your DS away. Anything he says may make it back to his girlfriend and if he does end up with her long term, it will cause resentment. You need to make sure your DH understands this, otherwise your relationship with your son will also suffer by default.

YouTube content creators contributed £2.2bn to UK economy in 2024 and supported 45,000 jobs
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c0knpm6v36go
I am one of those 45000 jobs. The creator economy has a lot of viable options career wise, but it’s also incredibly varied even for creators. Some of these comments are blinkered, it’s like saying all tv is just reality contestant show junk, when that’s only one part of it. There’s content creators making all sorts of content from documentaries to animations to in-depth travel reviews for airplanes, and for successful creators the niche doesn’t really matter all the niches have the ability to skill up and take their talents elsewhere is they ever wanted to though

The BBC has a market for their dross as well 🤷‍♀️

Oh most definitely.

I would also add, it seems to take up a LOT of time. She isn't just wafting along pinging the odd snap. She is very much reading the mood of the moment and able to judge what lands.

I think the OP's DH is very much missing the fact that to gain attention on social media you have to have a bit of X factor. Like anyone professional it looks much easier than it is!

Have you both been on LinkedIn recently?

It's full of shellshocked professionals who've been unthinkably made redundant from what he'd no doubt consider proper sensible grown up jobs.

They're making hundreds of applications, instant AI rejections, directly contradictory recruiter advice, getting ghosted, complaining about endless rounds of interviews when they do manage to attract a recruiter, no feedback when unsuccessful ...

I was a civil servant, the world's most secure if dull profession. Got made redundant. Never really been the same since.

She's secured a degree and created her own role, making a success of it by the sound of it. Clever.

She's learned the world she lives in, and will be working in for many decades to come.

If they are producing quality content- fair enough.
But that's not the case is it? Which is why I choose not to engage.
I'm still allowed an opinion of the crapness of it because one cannot avoid it - its in your face.
Sweetie... I'm more than happy with my income and quality of life. I'm in no way jealous of this lifestyle... its superficial and just... ick.

There are craggy faced middle aged men making successful videos too. The thing is a place like Youtube has stuff for everyone. Things for middle aged men, things for retired women, things for people who like to cook and keep house (homestead channels are very popular). You can tailor make it pretty much to your own personal preferences. Yes you get stuff you might not be interested in but just press the don’t show me this channel again button. There will even be channels run by grumpy people for grumpy people 😁

I am friends with someone who is a really successful influencer (not in the UK). She earns well, she loves the lifestyle and she is super intelligent. She has also just started a PhD.

The only low IQ on display is your husband’s. As you’ve grudgingly admitted she’s doing well. The amount some influencers can earn is astonishing. Many multiples more than some important men earn in their important man jobs. Is that his problem perhaps? A silly little girl earning good money doing silly little girl things?

If she was on a zero hours contract earning minimum wage would he also have a problem? Or does he just have a problem with young people earning money in jobs that actively exclude miserable old farts from monopolising them?

Ok you know only a little bit about her work and you don't rate it.

Your DH knows nothing and is condemning it entirely.

You both sound idiotic. Don't embarrass yourselves further.

You should ask questions and be interested. No more.

I think that she's not so much an influencer. They tend to persuade people to buy things, it makes me think clothes, make up etc. Some people might go to the places she travels but I think the majority probably just enjoy seeing what an experience is like without doing it themselves. So there is an element of influence but it's more than she's a content creator. I think the pair of you are being very short sighted and judgemental. A lot of young content creators earn a LOT of money. YouTube pays around £10,000 for a video that gets a million views. It's a really fun way to make money and it takes a lot of work and time to build up subscribers. I think this girl is an entrepreneur with an amazing future ahead of her, your son is lucky to have her.

But many are, "sweetie", that's the point. It's a changing landscape. And as it continues to change, how quality gets curated will also change.

If you wish to avoid it (literally everything by the sounds of it), bully for you, but today's young people are going to have to deal with the real world as it is, not how you, I or anyone else wishes it to be.

I'm still allowed an opinion of the crapness of it because one cannot avoid it - its in your face.

How are you finding it difficult to avoid?