DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

Moved on to what?

I just watched "I Built a Castle for my Kitten" because of you and have subscribed. This is the internet I signed up for.

I promise I have no connection to him, he doesn't know I exist.

I dont think it's got anything to do with snobbery or class; it's to do with not wanting to get brain rot. There ARE some good vloggers or whatever, but you have to wade through a lot of shite to get to them.

Outdoor savannah is another good one for cat obstacle stuff, he builds wall obstacles and jumps etc for his cats, very wholesome

I'm always happy to learn of people who make videos I enjoy.

You mean people who work in marketing and advertising in an office or just those on SM?

The often weird assumptions you and a number of others are clearly making has everything to do with both snobbery and (the perceived) class of this young woman and what she does. You assume that her content will be "brain rot", for a start, just because it appears online. Given she's making a good living from it as far as we know, that is quite unlikely.

If he met someone who worked in retail would his dad make a fuss about it?

Are you kidding? It'd be all about "shopgirls", I bet. He sounds a horrific snob.

I have a client that is an 'influencer'. She's been earning about £25k a month for quite some time now.

Its bizarre to me that he gives a shit about his son's girlfriend's career at all

What's the subject matter?

Let's be honest, there are influencers and there are influencers. Some are brilliant, informative, educational, funny and created by people with a genuine knowledge and expertise in their field who have great communication skills. I follow various chefs and have learned loads about cooking and really upped my skills, for free, thanks to them. But let's not pretend that there is not an awful lot of dross out there, attention seeking vacuous 'look at me I'm pretty' zero personality lifestyle cosplaying grifters looking for freebies and would be happy to sell their granny for clicks.

And I'm still not getting why her being a travel vlogger/"influencer" somehow means that the relationship is bound not to last... because it says something lowly about her character or something?

As a fifty something I don't understand this world at all, my take is that it's a kind of self employed marketing exec, except part of the brand is you.
I would only really be worried if it seemed to be turning his head towards it himself if he was already settled in a job with future prospects, because as others have said I think it's a bit of a here and now job which when you're 26 doesn't enter your head as being a bad thing ff 20 or 30 years and it's a different story.

There are, but we know that isn't what she's doing, so what has that got to do with the price of fish? (Or her IQ or her value as a potential partner for mummy & daddy's little soldier?)

But let's not pretend that there is not an awful lot of dross out there, attention seeking vacuous 'look at me I'm pretty' zero personality lifestyle cosplaying grifters looking for freebies and would be happy to sell their granny for clicks.

But nobody is pretending that. They're just pointing out that an awful lot of other content isn't that. And it sounds as if this young woman's content isn't that.

Is that what you thought of Judith Chalmers or Alan Whicker (I’m guessing you’re old enough to remember them).

Had you been around then you would probably have been protesting about tv replacing radio or talkie films replacing silent movies.

People who hate influences just tend to smack of jealousy.

The young girl that is a savvy business woman who turned her hobbies and dreams into as good paid for lifestyle and is successful, she does not have the level down to those who do not have the work ethic, attitude and charisma to pull off the same fortune.

It's damn hard to build up a following in anything, truth is most people just simply could not get thousands of strangers to look up to them no matter how hard they try. If you disagree then seriously try it yourself... set up your own IG page or tiktok and see if you can get even 100 followers never mind the 10,000+ needed to hit 'micro influencer' level.

The attitude is very like the song 'one horse town'

'this little bitty town, it ain't nothing new, we all stick around, just because they all tell us too, we swallowed our pride, just to make our family proud, and if I didn't think it would shut this whole place down, then Id saddle my pony and ride it right out of this town'.

It sad that people have the idea that their kids need to stay as unambitious and miserable as they did. Your suppose to support and want better for them not guilt them into following in our own footsteps and not following their dreams/heart. If they can achieve success and a great lifestyle they love full of opportunities why would you look down on that.

You DS will probably be privileged to have access to a whole new world through this girl achievements, how can yous be bitter and disrespectful about that.

My Dnephew is in a serious relationship with someone similar OP.
She has hundreds of thousands of followers, again for travel and van life stuff, my two nieces followed her even before they got together, she's a huge deal apparently.
Personally I find it all very very disingenuous, especially because she purports to live as a 'nomad' yet her last reels were sponsored by Visa 😂😂 They're constantly sharing videos of themselves which look amazing until you realise they're holding their phones up through it all. Even running to each other in the airport after not seeing each other for months she had her phone up the whole time running to him, probably the 6th take. I find it dishonest and a bit sad but tbh they're absolutely smashing it financially I'm probably just jealous.
There's nothing sadly you can say and DH definitely shouldn't say anything, much as we want to!

So just like acting, musicians, football etc where people want to reach fame?

Would you have an issue if she was an actor or singer or dancer?

This might concern me if not for everything else youve described. She’s young, educated, has an interesting and flexible job. Maybe she’s not paying into a pension and maybe she doesn’t own her own home yet, but that’s most young people I would think. She sounds fab!

“thornbury · Today 06:59
Rethink her job as content creator, not influencer, and give her the credit she deserves for building her own business and financial independence.”

This with bells on.

Also, does your H know anything about employment realities for young people nowadays? How difficult it is to get any kind of job? How expensive life is and how little security there is for young people?

The world of work is changing very rapidly and young people are doing jobs that simply didn’t exist when middle-aged people were young. Of course, you have to be bright, curious, interested and interesting to have a successful career as an influencer, not low IQ.

If you’re interested in what an influencer career might look like, you could do worse than read The Break by Marian Keyes (there are many other reasons to read it also - i’m a huge fan of hers and love many of her novels!).

People know that's what is happening though, they’re not stupid. How else do you see someone walking off into the sunset if not either having someone else film them, or them putting their camera on, walking off then walk back and switch it off. The end result you see is called editing. You think all documentaries by the BBC or National Geographic are organic?