DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

Back off! Really none of your business! Your son is an adult and should be able to make his own decisions without you or your husband interfering. It would be different if she was a cocaine addict. I remember when DH and I first got married, there was a period of time during which I wasn't working although I did have degrees. My cousin and I went to visit my PIL. My MIL spent much of the visit fawning over my cousin talking about how wonderful it was that she had a good clerical job with Guinness, the size of her car and the fact that she got her lunch for free. I was made to feel absolutely worthless. When I later began working in a fairly responsible job, she never mentioned it again or the fact that I was working or even asked me about my work. That feeling of being treated really badly has stayed with me all these years and although she is admittedly a psycho bitch generally, I resent her for they way she made me feel when I was in my twenties. It was all about the money and nothing else!

I work in beauty and the industry has lots of influencers. Its just the same as old school PR. The difference being people work for their selves. As previously said its not easy and i think if its travel its got a future as gen z spend more on this than consumer goods . I've got a 26 year old DS and the DH and I keep out of his business!

I think you have to have a certain degree of arrogance to declare you "wouldn't want to even be in a room with an influencer!"

Truly bizarre and quite unpleasant attitudes coming out on this thread. Clearly some very snobby, ill-informed people who seem to think that "influencers" are all on Only Fans or something. Weird.

Some influencers are making more than people in high profession jobs. It’s not like she’s working in a brothel you’re being a bit OTT.

I’m in my late 30s and I actually cannot stand “influencers” and this type of social media as in I have no interest and find it all so fake. but I would not judge someone who does it as a career or assume they are “of lower intelligence” . That is just pure judgemental and snobbery , I mean she has a degree and is earning well so who actually cares ? Times are changing and people are making careers out of things like this now. It sounds like she is ambitious and if she is a nice person does it matter that much. I wouldn’t be having words with your son about this .

Yes, keep quiet. It won't last. Im with your husband on influencers. I think there is definitely some interesting, useful content on the internet. But there is so much dross as well. I have occasionally found myself helpless with laughter watching some cloned type with a self- important look on their face drone on about something absolutely trivial. And as for some of those young men drivelling on about traffic lights or railway buildings with the kind of gravitas you'd think should be reserved for delivering a lecture about some great new scientific discovery.....jesus. These are the same people who, thirty years ago, would have been sitting at the back of the class picking their nose and ignored by everyone. The internet has turned the world upside down.

His girlfriend is making a good living from travel content. I’m confident that she’s not going to be pestering her boyfriend to let her include his parents in her work…

I can't remember their names, but there's one I like who does really creative things with food (he's a professional chef) and another who sets up complex sets and obstacle courses for his cats and does funny voiceovers as they navigate them. Confidence in their abilities, sure, but arrogance? They're both delightful and I bet I'd enjoy a drink with either of them.

Do you think this about everyone who works in PR, advertising or travel journalism? As this is essentially what she's doing, but on different platforms than those you're used to.

If she's making a good living, she's unlikely to be someone "self importantly droning on about something trivial".

Also, why on earth wouldn't the relationship last solely based on what she does? All these weird judgements have a very outdated, incredibly middle class whiff of "stepping out with actresses not marrying them" about them, as with nothing to back up the silly snobbery at all.

What other kind of jobs is he snobby about? The mind boggles! Its absolutely none of his business who his adult son dates!

He's an adult, he's not far off 30! You DH definitely needs to back off.

I'd also suggest that anyone who actually manages to have a successful influencer career must be pretty astute - it's one of those things where everyone wants to do it but most don't cut it.

I imagine because very few people make a success of it.

My only concern with who my son is dating is he happy and healthy? To me your husband sounds like a judgemental knob. it's absolutely none of his business what your son's girlfriend does as a job,

That's just a ignorant perspective. Of course there are some influencers that do that stuff but there are plenty more that are have really successful channels that are based on all sorts of interests and are not dependent at all on their ages or cup sizes.

It's like saying the only jobs on TV are for porn stars.

You have a very strong opinion on something you know nothing about.

Complex courses for his cats 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Which of course has nothing whatsoever to do with the son's girlfriend who appears to be making a good living from creating travel content. So it's not really in the same league, is it?

I remember now. Half-Asleep Chris. It's truly wholesome content. He set up a castle, a maze, all sorts of stuff.

they put out consistent, constant content-I personally think if someone does that it’s the same as any other job except they probably don’t hate it like others do. Beats a lot of jobs out there!!!

And as for some of those young men drivelling on about traffic lights or railway buildings with the kind of gravitas you'd think should be reserved for delivering a lecture about some great new scientific discovery.....jesus.

Would you think the same if it was a Channel 5 documentary? Everyone has interests, just because they're not the same as yours doesn't mean you need to berate them. There are videos I watch which you would probably find boring, just don't watch them.

Jeez. He's 26, let him be.
There's nothing wrong with travel vloggers. I watch lots of them, some are very good. She's earning a living by traveling, lucky her!

Yes, you do need to bite your tongues - very hard.

Your husband sounds like a dreadful snob and frankly an extremely unpleasant person. Unlike the girlfriend who sounds like a lot of fun.

Well maybe she's one of the interesting ones. I said there's some good stuff. But there's a hell of a lot of bullshit. I'd rather have traditional outlets that curate and edit than ' my favourite letter box in twenty different counties'. God help us all.

My ex boyfriend's Mum was very vocal in her disapproval of me. It did not go well for anyone involved. Given this is not an abusive situation he should say nothing.

A) your son is an adult
B) his girlfriend is not low IQ. She has a degree and is successful in a competitive field.
C) free travel sounds amazing! Plenty of interesting things to talk about.

Tbh I also think influencing is a pointless, meaningless thing, but so are many many far more boring jobs.

I think you're on to something when you say she's making a living from travelling.

There seems to be a lot of people, like the OP who seem to think a job isn't a proper job unless you hate it, and other people who really enjoy their jobs or have found a way of making a living out of their hobby should suffer as well.

You all need to stay in your own lane.
As others have said your son is 26.
At that age I had a job totally different and unrelated to what I do now, same as a lot if people, heck my son at 26 has a completely different career than he trained as an apprentice for.

The GF may be a very successful blogger/ influencer and continue doing this ,she may change career paths over time, she may marry your ds and be a SAHM. Life is always evolving and your Dh needs to keep his opinions away from your ds.